Marriage: Is There Any Hope?

Is there any hope for the institution of “marriage”?  Some experts brazenly declare that marriage as we have known it is a relic of a former age. As divorce rates continue to climb, or at least stay at incredibly high levels, many Americans and other Westerners, in and out of the Christian Faith, are growing doubtful about marriage. This is true even for seemingly “perfectly matched” couples; marriage has become more of a risk, a conundrum, and curse instead of a blessing (H. N. Wright). Some feel the institution served its purpose for a season in human history, but finally it should be discarded like an old worn out pair of shoes.

Actually, the problem is not the institution of marriage, but our view of marriage and family that has greatly changed. As a society we have departed from God’s original plan and intent encompassed in Judeo-Christian values. Unfortunately, our generation is witnessing the death of marriage as a grave consequence. That is, at least matrimony from a biblical and traditional perspective. However, God’s enduring plan for marriage still shines like a beacon of hope to every couple and single alike. So, yes, I firmly believe real hope and real answers exist for marriages today. 

THE SITUATION

No, doubt someone may wonder at this point, why we should be concerned about changes in marriage and family? Well, the average person should be concerned about such developments because marriage and family do not exist in a vacuum. The home is interrelated with four other basic institutions of our society: religious, economic, governmental, and educational institutions. This is a consideration with wide-ranging and far-reaching implication. We need to be far more concern then we have been in recent history. No family or marriage exists on an island; each will impact the overall social welfare of our country either for good or bad. To say that changes in the family will dramatically affect the other basic institutions of our society is the understatement of the century!

You see, the Devil has used the media in the Western world to bludgeon the American home nearly beyond recognition. What impact has television viewing had on the American family?  Perhaps we all would agree that TV, at the very least, contributes to the violence in American culture (MacDonald & MacDonald), and the proliferation of godless philosophies. No, doubt the impact of television on the American family is a net negative. Since television programming is largely influenced by secular humanism, to watch it indiscriminately is taking a moral dive into socialism, filth, worldly values, smut, violence, rebellion, immoralities, violation of decency, innuendo, and godless depravity. Such humanists seem to be fixed on destroying our country’s moral fiber, Judeo-Christian values, and with it traditional families and marriage. They cleverly manipulate this tool of communication to control the way people think; over exposure to secular input is roundly “dangerous.” This is further amplified when we consider how little Christians actually read the Word of God. Unfortunately, many parents use the television as a babysitting strategy, but this mistake exposes the children and youths to outrageous violations related to sex, profanity, and violence.  This is one of the leading causes of aggressive behavior in preschool children according to the National Institute of Mental Health. In addition the violence viewed on television is being carried out in our homes, schools, and streets of our nation. Generally, young people are desensitized to violence; this is presently a cultural reality in America. Godliness and wholesome values are readily discarded and portrayed as foolish, outdated, and only for those cripple in their minds and souls. The same is true regarding the traditional home and heterosexual monogamous marriage. We would be hard-pressed to find comedy/sitcoms, prime-time television, or movies that portray these godly ideals.

Many of the problems couples and families face in marriage persist because of the influence of the media on our values, biblical ignorance, lack of diligence, or a failure to adhere to God’s basic spiritual principles for marriage. According to H. N. Wright, there are five major unhealthy changes taking place in the institution of marriage today:

·                    A decline in understanding between marriage partners

·                    Acceptance of the new morality, which is replacing Judeo-Christian values

·                    The spread of secular humanistic philosophy, which rivals Christian truth 

·                    The loss of determination to stay married

·                    The development of unrealistic marriage expectations

Beloved, these are the five nasty realities that are driving our culture and ripping families and marriages apart all across our country. We need the skills to recognize the pressures exerted on our family by these factors. We also need to know how to neutralize their influence in our marriages. May the Lord Jesus, the Word of God, and the Spirit of Grace be employed to this end to the saving of our homes and country.

THE SOLUTION

A good question to ask at this juncture is what is marriage? Marriage is an exclusive relationship in which a man and a woman commit themselves to each other in covenant for life (H. N. Wright), and on the basis of this solemn vow become “one flesh”—physically consummating the union (Gen. 2:24; Mal. 2:14; Matt. 19:4-6). Please forgive my intentional redundancy, but a Christian marriage involves two Believers (male and female) in Christ Jesus. It includes a covenant of commitment to each other before God, physical consummation of the union through sexual intercourse, and last, but not least, commitment to God’s plan for marriage. Marriage is a gift from God, and it was not just for convenience, nor was it brought about by any culture. It is wonderfully the Creators idea and He gave instructions to us, His creatures, for its maintenance and His glory.

Now, there are several spiritual requirements necessary for a successful Christian marriage. First of all, each member must be genuinely born again (John 3:5, 7). They both need to experience the new birth and know the forgiveness of sins. Secondly, both of them should be wholly consecrated to the Lord. That is correct; each individual must surrender their entire person to God sincerely seeking to do His will in the marriage relationship (Rom. 12:1, 2). It is a fact, that disparity in the degree of submission to God can and usually causes a measure of unhappiness and discontentment in the marriage. Both individuals must strive to maintain a personal walk with the Lord Jesus through daily prayer and Bible study (John 15). A Christ-centered and Spirit-filled married partner is an incredible daily gift to give to your spouse!

Perhaps someone will object suggesting that romantic love is the key to a happy and lasting marriage. Actually this is a secular idea that has invaded our Christian counseling, and theological perspectives. Shocked by that observation? Let us entertain for a moment this notion. Why is romantic love by itself a poor foundation on which to build a marriage? Well, romantic love by itself is inept, weak, fickle, and far too emotional to build a marriage and home upon! Love in the form of physical attraction is good, but it will not sustain a marriage. What about when physical attractions are diminished over time? What about when the emotional fervor has lost its intensity because of offense? What then? Emotions are too fragile for building anything on. Elements such as godly agape-love, caring giving, mutual ministry, and companionship must predominate if the relationship is to endure. In a successful marriage romantic love will remain strong, but will be superseded by other components as the marriage matures. A Christian marriage is a triangle and Jesus Christ is the First Person—the preeminent One—in the Christian marriage. It is obedience and fellowship with Him that lays a sound foundation for a godly home.

I personally believe our society and especially Christians must return to the Lord’s plan and design for the help of our marriages and the preservation of our culture (Gen. 2:18-25). Clearly God will be glorified as we walk in His wonderful design. His plan is over 6, 000 years old, but it still holds out the light of hope and fulfillment in this age darkened by family confusion and social corrosion. Yes, there is not only hope for the institution of marriage, but there is glorious hope for yours.

Without exaggeration, there is a hopeful relationship between biblical principles and the success of Christian marriages. Though our culture may reject and discredit the Bible basis for marriage and the principles the Scriptures afford for the welfare of the Christian home, they are never-the-less relevant and promising. When two Christian young people implement these principles in daily life, their marriage will prove a blessing to them and glorifying to God.  When God’s Word is diligently applied to life, it produces satisfaction and fulfillment in relationships the humanistic philosophies of the world cannot assail. 

The preservation of the institution of marriage can only be realized in our culture as we submit to God’s enduring plan (Gen. 2:18-25). It’s time for Christian marriages and families to demonstrate a way of living that is rewarding, meaningful, and fulfilling. God’s plan for couples should be brilliantly evident to the world as it observes Christian marriages and families.  As we realize God’s plan in our lives we supply hope to the many others who need direction, counsel, and hope (MacDonald & MacDonald). Choose Christ’s way and become a beacon of hope in a society where marriages are being dashed on the rocks of frustration, despair, confusion, and ignorance. If you do, God will use you to light the way to Himself, and you will serve as a palpable inspiration to others. Is there any hope for marriage? The answer is absolutely Yes!