The Spirit Sets Us Free 1

“The Spirit Sets Us Free 1”

Gal. 5:13-14

SUBJECT: GRACE AND CHRISTIAN LIVING

THEME: Living the Christian life in freedom involves receiving Christ’s real-world uprightness by faith and not by mere mechanical obedience to rules. We are set free from the curse and the control of the law to liberty that does not warrant permission to sin, but rather to mature responsibility and holiness before God. To live by grace, through faith, gives us a free and satisfying Christian experience, and the Holy Spirit is the secret to “everyday life.”

INTRODUCTION:

1. Freedom from our Sinful Nature Results in Service to our Lord and Others. 

“Liberty” (Gal. 2:4, 4:26, 31; 5:1), is almost entirely about freedom from sinful domination—practical terms related to an ethical life. The true nature of Christian freedom is only through the life of the Spirit and by the Spirit's power enabling us to refuse the desires of our sinful nature. Service or “love” is both to God and man (Gal. 5:14).  (Dr. W. W. Wiersbe)

2. Legalism Does Not Positively Influence our Wicked Nature.

No amount of legislation can change people’s basic sinful nature. Legalism is the practice of relying on strict, man-made rules or external laws rather than inner transformation; it utterly fails to change our human nature. Instead of fixing our deepest flaws, it simply hides them behind a ‘mask’ of good to acceptable behavior. Beloved it is not rules on the outside, but love on the inside that makes the difference (Gal. 5:14). We need a different power within, and that comes from the Holy Spirit of God.

3. The Holy Spirit Does Impact and Conquer our Sinful Nature.

   A.  The Presence of the Spirit within.

There are at least sixteen references to the Holy Spirit in Galatians. When we believe on Christ, the Spirit comes to dwell within us (Gal. 3:2). We are “born after the Spirit” as was Isaac (Gal. 4:29). It is the Holy Spirit in the heart who gives assurance of salvation (Gal. 4:6); and who enables us to live for Christ and glorify Him. (Dr. W. W. Wiersbe)

   B.  The Personality of the Spirit.

The Holy Spirit is not simply a "divine influence"; He is a divine Person, just as are the Father and the Son. What God the Father planned for us, and God the Son purchased for us on the cross, God the Spirit personalizes for us and applies truth to our lives as we yield to Him.             

This paragraph is perhaps the most crucial in the entire closing section of Galatians; for in it we discover three ministries of the Holy Spirit that enable the believer to enjoy liberty in Christ.

MESSAGE:

The Spirit Enables Us to Fulfill the Law of Love (Gal. 5:13-15).

We are prone to go to extremes. One believer interprets liberty as license and thinks he can do whatever he wants to do. Another believer, seeing this error, goes to an opposite extreme and imposes his laws on everybody. Actually, something quite different from license or legalism results in true Christian liberty.

A.  THIS IS OUR CALLING.  Vs. 13, For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty;”

We see our calling:

     1. We Are Called to Liberty.   Gal. 5:13

We are free people in Christ. We are free from the guilt of sin because we have experienced God's forgiveness. We are free from the penalty of sin because Christ died for us on the cross. And we are, through the Spirit, free from the power of sin in our daily life.

True Christianity is showing that the freedom we have been called to in Christ is a responsible freedom that leads to holiness of life. Yes! But this is a freedom to serve God and others as love dictates!

     2. We Are Called from Law.  Gal. 5:8

We are also free from the Law with its demands and threats. Christ bore the curse of the Law and ended its tyranny once and for all. We are “called unto liberty” because we are “called into the grace of Christ” (Gal. 1:6). Grace and liberty go together, but not law and liberty. (Dr. W. W. Wiersbe)

Beloved, what about a faith without law being sufficiently strong enough to resist the immoral wickedness of pagan practices? Every Child of God is morally and ethically obligated to live in the freedom of God’s Spirit.  The Grace of God insists on moral and ethical behavior for us who enjoy the freedom which Christ gives. First, the phrase “have been called” expresses a complete idea meaning independent of any other added statement, "called by God to be people of his own" (“calleth,” vs. 5:8). Secondly, this preposition “unto,” points to the condition upon which God had called us: they were "called" upon with the understanding that they should be in a state of liberty. So just as Eph 2:10, “Created in Christ Jesus “unto” good works.” Likewise, God calls us in Christ to be free. 1 Thes. 4:7, For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness.

B.  WE MUST HEED A CAUTION.  Gal. 5:13

This is where we need to pause and clarify to avoid confusion.  

    1. Liberty is Not a License to Sin. Vs. 13, ... only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh . . .

Having explained our calling, Paul then issues a caution: "Don't allow your liberty to degenerate into license!"   This, of course, is the fear of all people who do not understand the true meaning of the grace of God. "If you do away with rules and regulations," they say, "you will create chaos and anarchy."       

• Liberty is the freedom from the power and guilt of sin. It allows believers to live righteously through the Holy Spirit.
• License is the freedom to sin. It is an abuse of grace that uses God’s forgiveness as an excuse for fleshly desires.

    2. Liberty Is Not an Opportunity to Sin. (Gal. 5:13) “an occasion”

Paul says that the Christian is not to allow this freedom in Christ to become a beachhead for the armies of indulgence to gain a foothold in his life. The meaning of the words “an occasion” is "a starting point or base of operations for an expedition," it refers to an “opportunity” (see 2Cor 11:12).

“Liberty” (Gal. 5:13) means having freedom from the old rules. However, this freedom is not a pass to do wrong. Instead, the goal is to use that freedom to serve others with love. Think of it like being set free from prison. You are not free to break more laws. You are free to build a good life and help your friends.

To those who have been accustomed to regard law as the only controlling factor that stands in the way of self-indulgence and a free rein in sin, and to those who have not been accustomed to a high standard of ethics, the teaching of Christian liberty might easily mean that there is nothing to stand in the way of the unrestrained indulgence of one’s own impulses. Paul often during his ministry, had his hearers react in this way to his teaching of grace.^[a]

    3. Liberty Can Be Abused to Permit Sin.

Of course, the danger of manipulating liberty is real, not because God's grace fails, but because men fail of the grace of God (Heb. 12:15). Since there is the “true grace of God” (I Peter 5:12), then there is also a false grace of God; and there are false teachers who are “turning the grace of our God into lasciviousness,” (Jude 4). So, Paul’s caution is a valid one. Christian liberty is not a license to sin but an opportunity to serve.

1. Reflection immediately shows us that a "freedom" which allows a man to obey the passions of his lower sinful nature is a miss usage of the term “Christian Liberty;” it is not that freedom “wherewith Christ hath made us free.”  Such emancipation hands its victims completely over to the slavery of sin (John 8:34; 2 Peter 2:18, 19).  Peter, in his First Epistle, addressed (see 1 Peter 5:12) and ratified Paul’s statement (1 Peter 2:16). “The flesh” is not to have its own way, but it is to be mastered by the Spirit. (Dr. W. W. Wiersbe)

2. 1 Peter 2:16, As free, and not using your liberty for a cloke of maliciousness, but as the servants of God.

3. “Flesh” (Gal. 5:13) refers to anything a person is and is capable of as a sinful fallen depraved individual apart from the unmerited intervention of God’s Spirit in his life (v. 16). This is even seen in modern churches.  

4. When modern churches mistake sinful license for liberty, they trade holy freedom for self-indulgence. True liberty empowers believers to reject sin through love. License perverts grace. It replaces the lordship of Christ with the rule of self. (See SBC Voices)

5. The Danger in Modern Churches

• Over-emphasizing Grace: Some churches teach grace without truth. They fail to mention the call to repentance and personal holiness.
• Abandoning Truth: Pastors may avoid preaching against sin to stay culturally relevant or avoid offending the congregation.
• Subjective Morality: Believers claim that the Holy Spirit allows them to do things the Bible directly forbids.

6. The Biblical Correction

• The Apostle Paul warned the early church about this exact mistake in Galatians 5:13. (See Berean Bible Society)

For these reasons I do not personally fellowship or interact with these misguided ministries and apostate ‘churches.’ It is not that I am superior or even ‘better’ in some way, please don’t misunderstand me, but God has graciously given me a respect for Him and His ways first above all else. I must respect “thus saith the Lord” entirely to the best of my ability. I must live to please Him as my priority. God is the ultimate reality to me; I am foremost answerable to Him! God and His Word are opposed to these behavior patterns that characterize these modern churches. All believers would be wise to be more loyal to Christ and what the Scriptures really teaches.  

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^[a] Kenneth S. Wuest, Wuest’s Word Studies from the Greek New Testament: For the English Reader, vol. 3 (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1997), 148.

God is Correcting My Pride

 

“Love Moves God to Correct My Pride”

Prov. 3:12; 29:23; Jam. 4:6  

SUBJECT:  CORRECTIONS ADVERSITY COMPELS US TO MAKE

THEME: Nothing compels us to make spiritual changes like troubles. Understanding God’s design to develop and transform us encourages us to respond favorably toward our troubles. Clearly God desires that we humble ourselves to his will.  When troubles come, examine your heart for prideful attitudes and correct them to continue spiritual growth.  

RELEVANCY: When we become complacent, the Lord may permit troubles to come our way to jostle us forward in our spiritual walk. God doesn't only seek to get our attention; He also compels all of us to engage in periodic self-examination so we may face up to our own sin and the smudges on the heart that we acquire during our lives. 

When adversity comes your way, take a look inward to see what you may need to correct in your life so that you truly stay on course with what the Lord has for you. We most move forward. We must keep growing in the Lord. Trouble is God’s tool to encourage us along.  Therefore, we need to understand HOW to respond to it for spiritual benefit.  

INTRODUCTION:

Have You Ever Been on a Journey in Which You Needed to Make a Mid-course Correction?

Pilots make course corrections often as they maneuver through air traffic patterns and avoid potential storms. Road construction crews and detours sometimes force us to make course corrections when we travel by car.

The same principle holds true for life's journey. There are times when we need to make course corrections to arrive safely and soundly at our next spiritual destination point and ultimately to Heaven. Adversity may be the detour, storm, or obstacle that compels us to make such corrections.

 Anytime you read your Bible, you should pray, “Show me, Lord, how this affects my life,” or “Reveal to me, Lord, how I need to change my life in order to conform to Your commandments and Your will.”

In this message we will concentrate on correcting our attitude of pride.  

MESSAGE:

I.  WHAT MOTIVATES THE LORD TO CORRECT OUR PRIDE?

Proverbs 3:12, For whom the Lord loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.

A.  THE LORD IS MOTIVATED TO CORRECT US BECAUSE HE LOVES US.  

Hebrews 12:5-6, And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: [6] For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

As we enter this message on God's use of TROUBLES to bring about mid-course corrections in our lives, we also need to recognize anew that the Lord corrects us because He loves us. Proverbs 3:12 is important to remember.

The readers also seemed to have forgotten the encouragement found in Proverbs 3:11–12, which presents divine discipline as an evidence of divine love. Thus they should not lose heart (cf. Heb. 12:3) but should endure hardship (hypomenete, lit., “persevere”; cf. vv. 1–3) as discipline and regard it as an evidence of sonship, that is, that they are being trained for the glory of the many sons (cf. 2:10 and comments there). All God’s children are subject to His discipline, and in the phrase everyone undergoes discipline the writer for the last time used the Greek metochoi (“companions, sharers”), also used in 1:9; 3:1, 14; 6:4. (Lit., the Gr. reads, “… discipline, of which all have become sharers.”) ^[1]

    1. Good Parents Guide a Child's Behavior. 

Proverbs 22:6, Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

This is perhaps the best-known verse in Proverbs on child training. The other verses on child-rearing (13:24; 19:18; 22:15; 23:13–14; 29:17) are all on discipline. The Hebrew word for train (ḥānaḵ) means to dedicate. It is used of dedicating a house (Deut. 20:5), the temple (1 Kings 8:63; 2 Chron. 7:5) ….^[2]

They are continually teaching the child what is:

       A.  Right Behavior.

God wants us to know what is good, acceptable, and beneficial.

Only in Proverbs 22:6 is the verb translated “train.” Ḥānaḵ seems to include the idea of setting aside, narrowing, or hedging in. The word is sometimes used in the sense of “start.” Child-training involves “narrowing” a child’s conduct away from evil and toward godliness and starting him in the right direction.^[3] 

       B.  Wrong Behavior.

 God wants us to know what is bad, unacceptable, and harmful.

I remember getting poor grades in elementary school and having to live through one of my Dad’s lectures about getting a good education. It was like torture enduring one of my father’s ‘discourses’ on correct behavior, and wholesome living standards. But he helped me realize that I needed to take full advantage of the education opportunities I had available to me. He reassured me that I would never regret getting a good education. Because he loved me, he constantly reassured me of the value of a solid education. As a result, I made some serious adjustments in my attitude toward school and eventually went on through high school and college to graduate with honors. My parents’ loving correction played an important role in my life as they guided me. Likewise, God is a good heavenly Father and He labors to bring about correction in our lives because He loves us.

    2. Good Parents Prepare a Child for Life and Society.

Proverbs 22:15, Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

Mischief and self-will are native to the heart of a child, but by applying the board of education to the seat of learning you can rid him of these vices. Matthew Henry counsels:

Children need to be corrected, and kept under discipline, by their parents; and we all need to be corrected by our heavenly Father (Heb. 12:6, 7), and under the correction we must stroke down folly and kiss the rod.^[4]

        A.  Children Are Naturally Wayward.

Foolishness here implies that children love mischief, waywardness and are self-will; this is bound up in their very nature with the strongest of chains.  But the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. They are sinners and need punishment.

        B.  Children Must Be Corrected.

Sensible correction overcomes this natural tendency, by expediently punishing misbehavior whenever it appears, and imparting wisdom and instructions (Prov 13:24 and 19:18; and comp. Prov 23:13; 29:15).  The current theories that children are not naturally bad, but only maladjusted, and that education should lead them to self-expression, find no support in Proverbs. (C. Stanley)

         C.  Children Require Prudent Love.

Proverbs 13:24, He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

Correction is to start young and be administered often.  If a Parent Doesn't Do this for a Child, That Child Grows up to Be Wild in Behavior. That wildness or stubbornness makes him:

              1. Miserable in himself.

              2. Undesired by others.

              3. And alienated from those who might bless or help him the most.

Proverbs 29:17, Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.

Proverbs 19:18, Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.                

A few years back I had a little niece. Though she is beautiful, was perhaps the most unrestrained child I knew at the time. Whenever they would visit, we would literally rearrange certain furniture items, we would take certain little what-nots and place them out of her reach. We would close off certain areas of the house to make sure that she could not get in to terrorize that room. It was nearly awful; we sighed with relief when they left for their home. I deeply loved my family, but we could not handle their little wild daughter. What she needed was a lot of love in the form of more old-fashioned discipline and correction. This would have made her much easier to live with.   

As a child, my neighbors did not properly restrain their boys. That family was postured for trouble and hardness filled their path. They were seemly the wildest kids in the neighborhood; always in trouble at school and with the law as young adults. These young people were boundless…mean spirited… and loved to fight! If there was trouble to be found, they had a ‘gift’ for finding it. They were expelled from school, spent time in reformed school as children, and as adults they were in and out of jail and prison. After a while no one wanted them around their children… they were so wild and unrestrained. Folk discouraged others from associating with them because trouble seemed to live with them all the time. Those parents failed to prepare these children for the Lord Jesus and a profitable role in society.  

     3. Good Parents Prepare a Child for the Future.

Hebrews 12:10-11, For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. [11] Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.

They should not think that their sufferings were unique. Many of the witnesses described in chapter 11 suffered severely as a result of their loyalty to the Lord, yet they endured. If they maintained unflinching perseverance with their lesser privileges, how much more should we to whom the better things of Christianity have come.^[5]

In like manner, God desires for us to be disciplined and mature adults in the faith. This is to ensure that we experience inner peace and harmony, enjoy relationships with other believers, and receive the blessings that God desires to give to us through other people. Often the race that is set before us involves trouble and pain.

         A.  Trouble and Pain are Often Necessary for a Child of God’s Growth.

Hebrews 12:1-2, Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, [2] Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.                                                                                                                                        

God often disciplines and matures our faith through troubles and pain. When we face hardship and discouragement, it is easy to lose sight of the big picture. When we become complacent, the Lord may permit troubles to come our way to jostle us forward in our spiritual walk. This is a common experience for every believer. Understand that we're not alone; there is help. Many have already made it through life, enduring far more difficult circumstances than we have experienced. Through their troubles they learned to trust the Lord more fully. Troubles, suffering, and even pain are the training grounds for Christian maturity. It develops our patience and makes our final victory sweeter.

         B.  Sometimes Trouble and Pain are Necessary to Get a Child of God’s Attention.

Often the words that we say, and the things we try to teach go unheeded by our children.  We can’t seem to get their attention with the warnings and admonitions we frequently give.  Then it becomes necessary to reinforce what we are trying to teach them with some more painful lessons to get their attention.

God had to get the attention of the Philistines through sending several waves of trouble, disease and hardship.

1 Samuel 5:6-9, But the hand of the Lord was heavy upon them of Ashdod, and he destroyed them, and smote them with emerods, even Ashdod and the coasts thereof. [7] And when the men of Ashdod saw that it was so, they said, The ark of the God of Israel shall not abide with us: for his hand is sore upon us, and upon Dagon our god. [8] They sent therefore and gathered all the lords of the Philistines unto them, and said, What shall we do with the ark of the God of Israel? And they answered, Let the ark of the God of Israel be carried about unto Gath. And they carried the ark of the God of Israel about thither. [9] And it was so, that, after they had carried it about, the hand of the Lord was against the city with a very great destruction: and he smote the men of the city, both small and great, and they had emerods in their secret parts.

Although the Philistines had just witnessed a great victory by Israel's God over their god, Dagon, they didn't act upon that insight until they were afflicted with plagues. Similarly, today many people don't respond to biblical truth until they experience pain. Are you willing to listen to God for truth's sake, or do you turn to him only when you are hurting?

Conclusion: 

Realizing that God Has a Desire to Correct Our Attitude of Pride Should Focus Our Self Examinations and Identify Some Changes We Need To Make.

If we begin to walk just one degree away from the truth—in pride, we will soon find ourselves a long way from the path of righteousness in which the Lord desires us to walk daily.

When troubles comes your way, take a look inward to see what you may need to correct in your life so that you truly stay on course with what the Lord has for you.

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^[1] Zane C. Hodges, “Hebrews,” in The Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures, ed. J. F. Walvoord and R. B. Zuck, vol. 2 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1985), 810.

^[2] Sid S. Buzzell, “Proverbs,” in The Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures, ed. J. F. Walvoord and R. B. Zuck, vol. 1 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1985), 952–953.

^[3] Sid S. Buzzell, “Proverbs,” in The Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures, ed. J. F. Walvoord and R. B. Zuck, vol. 1 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1985), 953.

^[4] William MacDonald, Believer’s Bible Commentary: Old and New Testaments, ed. Arthur Farstad (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1995), 848.

^[5] William MacDonald, Believer’s Bible Commentary: Old and New Testaments, ed. Arthur Farstad (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1995), 2202.

God’s Order for Husbands (Part II)

 

“Adopting God’s Order for Husbands” 

1 PETER 3:7

SUBJECT: SUBMISSION AND MARRIAGE

THEME: Each believing husband is to submit to God’s order in his marriage.

RELEVANCE: the best husband first views his marriage as an expression of his submission to the Lord. Abandoning the ‘traditional,’ ‘romantic,’ and ‘institutional’ models of marriage he freely clings to God’s Order. He is not loyal to his wife primarily nor worldly models; the Christian husband is devoted to Christ first—above all. He fully submits to Christ’s authority in his life and seeks to guides his family accordingly.

INTRODUCTION:

First, what is marital chaos? What is it like when matrimonial structure is absent?

“Marital chaos is a state of severe, chronic conflict and instability within a marriage, transforming it from a supportive partnership into a high-stress, unpredictable environment. It is characterized by constant, intense arguments, lack of trust, emotional distress, and potential, or actual, separation or divorce. It often involves a breakdown in communication, with partners in a cycle of hurt, blame, and, sometimes, apathy.”—AI Overview

Most marriage problems are normal and often solvable with better communication, clearer boundaries, and shared habits. The most common marriage issues include communication breakdowns, intimacy changes, financial stress, parenting conflict, and uneven household labor.—Matrimonial Chaos - Wikipedia

Beloved, God’s Order or Marital chaos…there really is no serious comparison here. Again, the common theme of the preceding chapter 1 Peter 2 and this one (Chapter 3) is submission to the Lord even in unfair circumstances! Therefore, the husband must likewise first accept God’s Order for marriage, which brings us to our first observation and the continuance of hope or the establishment of the same.

MESSAGE: HUSBANDS MUST ADOPT GOD’S ORDER IN MARRIAGE. 1 Pet 3:7, Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

I.  LIVE WITH CONSIDERATION FOR HER, Vs 7

Now the apostle turns to husbands and shows the corresponding duties they must fulfill. They should live considerately with their wives, showing love, courtesy, and understanding.^[1]

Peter exhorted Christian husbands to give their wives two gifts of love: understanding and respect.^[2]

When a Christian husband obeys the Lord in this regard, his wife will not legitimately sense from him a lack of appreciation, mere utilitarian use, rejection, devaluation, misunderstanding, distance, anger, frustration, criticism, jealousy, inadequacy, or coldness. If any of these conditions really exist, there is a solid platform to communicate with each other through the difficulties.                                            

A. Consider Spending Quality Time with Her. “Dwell with”

This phrase means to dwell together. It is true we all want provisions, security, connection, and belonging, but a wife needs these in a more amplified manner. Many of her needs are addressed by spending quality time with her.

                       1) Understanding Her Involves Building Depth in Your Relationship.

 The Husband is to actually spend some quality time with his wife. Husbands are to live with her in close togetherness. This is much more than living under the same roof. This is instruction to take responsibility for deepening your closeness. Often understanding requires courage as a wife and patient consideration as a husband.

The first protest of a good provider would be, “Well I’ve provided a nice home and a good living for her, what more could she ask for.” The truth is that material things or animals can never satisfy our sociological needs or our desires for thoughtful companionship. Material things will answer some small physical needs but you both still require the opportunity to share your souls with each other. The deepest sharing and togetherness is with the Lord Jesus, but a second is throughout life a husband and wife are to share themselves completely with each other. It takes real courage and trust to deepen this dynamic.

Remember, Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden demonstrated God’s design for marriage and companionship—togetherness. Again, Gen 2:18, says, “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”

1) God designed the profound community essentials of man to be meet through a human counterpart, his wife. In Genesis 2:18, “help meet” mean ‘helper,’ ‘succour,’ and ‘corresponding counterpart.’

2) A husband, out of humility, has an innate (inborn or essential) necessity to cultivate oneness with his wife. Most godly men require the sweetness, sensitivity, and tenderness of a faithful wife.

3) When God provided Eve, all of Adam’s material needs were already satisfied before his creation in the Garden of Eden. God helped him come to this conclusion—man needs a corresponding counterpart in a wife.

4) Essentially, God helped Adam recognize his personal and essential need for a wife, and Eve was His provision. She was not intended to replace him, lead him, or compete with him, but to serve God together with him as his appropriate helper. Her role was different from the very beginning.

5) Eve was created for the high purpose of being Adam’s most intimate companion. This means that she was adequate for him, complemented him, and corresponded to him and he to her. God intended for Adam to lead Eve from her very beginning.

6) Accordingly, merely being a good provider for your wife and family does not satisfy all your needs to connect with her deeply as companions.

There will also be an element of mystery and intrigue, but a husband and wife are to provide answers into each other that cannot be discovered with mothers, fathers, sisters, and brothers. It means there is more to a godly woman than the need to connect and there are more than a mere few choice things to satisfying a man of God. It is the responsibility of a husband to lead this exploration and remember the goal is holiness and not merely happiness. It takes courage, humility, patience, and a willingness to grow together in the Lord.

                      2) How Can We Build Deeper Understanding?

You must spend meaningful time together! It may mean giving up a favorite TV series, fewer trips to the gym, or the golf course. It may mean leaving the Internet alone and disciplining the use of your time more. It may mean stopping the overtime when you can avoid it and calling home when you must be late. Give her your complete attention with listening, eye contact, and trying to empathize. Not merely talking but dwelling with her! The following are some other helpful suggestions.

                           a) Become Dissatisfied with Anything Less Then Oneness. View it as inconsistent with the scripture to have a shallow affiliation with your wife. Refuse to merely live together and just exist in the same household. Take some honest inventory and endeavor to fix your relationship with the Lord’s guidance. Gen 2:24, Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

                          b) Create a Climate of Trust

We must reassure our wives of our fidelity—our faithfulness. Leave no room for doubt in her mind. Talk with her about anything she is uneasy with. Avoid little white lies, withholding relevant information, emotional or literal disloyalty, harmful flirtations which could create distrust, avoid harmful situations which could lead to misunderstanding. It is only through a deepening sense of trust that we develop greater intimacy with our wives.

                          c) Spend Time with Each Other

Intimacy comes when two people spend quality time together. This means limiting our time with ‘friends’ and social media to make time for your spouse…we treat the marriage union as a priority. We need time to talk together, walk together, celebrate together, think together, plan together, and dream together. Keep your promises, you do not need to be too critical of every little things, and face up to reality with the goal of becoming holy in the Lord. This does not eliminate a husband’s leadership; it simply helps him understand his wife and her need for assurance from you. With out this dimension in your marriage ‘something will seem missing’…it will not provide the joy or insight God intended and both of you so desperately need.

“Several years ago, a twister swept through the farmlands of Kansas and touched down right of the farmhouse. The force of the wind lifted the room off and set it down about fifty feet from the house. It also lifted the bed on which the husband and wife were sleeping and set it down in the front yard. Immediately the wife began to cry. “Don’t cry,” the husband consoled, “Everything is going to be all right. You don’t have to be afraid.” The wife responded, “I’m not crying because I’m afraid. I’m crying because I’m happy. This is the first time in five years we’ve been out of the house together!”

God’s plan for your relationship is that it be an ever growing and deepening experience with each other.

B. Consider Limiting Social Media Involvement.

Social media outlets strive on female involvement and use! Some women would be ashamed of some of the stuff they posted or their general immodesty…advertisements…. Many western wives and potential wives were ruined by social media! Avoid content creators who are not living examples of what you want. Stir clear of worldly ideas from people more interested in the algorithm and telling you what you want to hear because it secures them likes and hearts. Remember they are trying to make a living on your engagements or comments!

1) Secrecy between a husband and wife is not a part of God’s plan for marriage.

Couples who cannot see each other’s online activities or they do not share their social media accounts tend to be hiding something about their online activity. God still can see when we obscure our actions incognito! I have seen one member share freely their social media accounts while the other member carefully concealed their actual activities. What hypocrisy! 

2) Options can prevent total commitment to your spouse.

More options do not provide more clarity; they only add to the confusion. Who is in your DMs? Who did you give your number to? Are you using your phone to be sneaky and secretive? What situations do you tolerate? Are you paralyzed by multiple options…unable to decide because you are convinced you could do better? Have you ‘settled’ until something better comes along? 

3) Distrust multiplies as your inconsistencies and lies become more evident.

Your activities poison your future relationship with her because your character is gravely flawed. This is also true for her. Your spouse detects the flaws early on, weather they say so or not…. The results are eroded trust… loss of confidence…discarded or phony fidelity. Building a foundation of reliability is vital for you both to grow in the Lord.

C. Consider the Many Descriptions in Scripture.

1)     The Book of Proverbs is packed with warnings and illustrations of the wrong and correct type of person and habits. We would be wise to pay careful attention.

2)     The Bible is also replete with portrayals of a God-fearing persons as well as examples of godless people. These should inform and warn us.

3)     While ‘perfection’ is out of the question, growth starts with honesty—transparency, confessions, and repentance—before God and integrity with your spouse.

4)     Heb. 4:12, says, “For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart”.

 The Word of God as living, active, and penetrates deeply to judge the thoughts and goals we have. Beloved, this is the transformative power of Scripture to convict, expose inner motives, and reveal truth. God gave us His word to aid our exploration of holiness, and to aids our marriages tremendously.

D. Consider Knowing Her Well; Pay Attention to Her. “According to knowledge”

This embraces the idea that husbands should actively study, understand, and respect their wives’ specific needs, emotions, and character to build a thoughtful, considerate, and loving marriage in Christ. We are to live with insight rather than ignorance, providing tailored care, and honoring them as equal heirs of God’s grace. This obviously requires you to pay attention to her.

Not only should you know her favorite color, restaurant, or shoes, but you understand best how she is put together. Husbands are to explore, investigate, and inquire into her person; the inclination to be more self-centered is great, but you need to pay some quality attention to her.

QUOTE: “Your wife is a unique vessel, carefully crafted and beautifully interwoven by her Creator. To “know your wife” means to know the answers to the complex questions about her. What is her innermost make up? What are her deepest concerns and fears? How do you help her work through them in the safety and security of your love? What does she need from you? Why does she respond as she does?”—Charles Swindoll 

Gentlemen, no one else can supply the answers to these questions about her. While more experienced wives can provide helpful insight around certain duties and obligations, a husband must have a curiosity that move him to understand her. Make it your quest to regard the natural cycles and more intriguing mysteries of your wife. As you do this, you’ll unlock other rooms and compartments of her innermost being worthy of your exploration. Her opening up to you will become normal and natural. Trust will escalate and understanding will increase. She is not required to be mysterious or secretive, but men do not necessarily understand women in general. This “knowledge” comes primarily as you cultivate intimacy, it takes time. It takes listening. It takes paying attention, concentrating, praying for insight, seeking understanding, and refusing to use such knowledge against her. Ask God to help you understand her! 

QUOTE: “Now, the phrase, "according to knowledge," is descriptive of a man's manner of life with his mate, a woman's need, wherein he studiously gives himself to the task of perceiving her rather unique needs, and then follows in applying himself to the skillful fulfillment of those needs. To live with a wife in an understanding way is to dwell with her, guided by a correct assessment of her womanly nature, and by a correct identification of her roles and her duties, over against your own roles and duties. It speaks of a manner of living characterized by sensitivity, by a close consideration of her femininity, and by the needs and desires which properly emanate from both.

About his wife, a man needs to understand such things-as I have been slow to understand-as that there needs to be times when a woman can cry without giving her husband an objective rationale to support it. Fourteen years I have been married, and while the lesson is somewhere in my head, all too often there is failure on the practical level-and an indictment, thus, of my manhood.

A man needs to live with his wife understanding such things as her acute need, for the praise and the gratitude of her husband- understanding her need for intimate and undistracted communication- understanding her need for practical help with dishes and diapers and floors and vacuum cleaning, etc., etc.- understanding her needs and her temperament, when the manner of woman is upon her.

A true man is not a brute. He is a wise, perceptive and lifelong student of his wife. And his understanding, first on the level of perception, then works out on the level of skillful fulfillment of needs perceived.”—George Mcdearmon

APPLICATION: Many wives would give their right arm for a husband that really knows her. Few things give a woman more security than her husband really understanding her. She may not even support each decision enthusiastically, but she is confident she is understood. This is what results in intimacy; it turns romance into a deep, lifelong agape-love. Frequent open and honest conversation will help a couple to arrive at this reality. Do not ignore, disregard, and neglect her; refuse to allow yourself to become indifferent towards her. “DWELL WITH HER ACCORDING TO KNOWLEDGE”!

For many men, there are no new discoveries here. Perhaps a few reminders of how important this really is. To be a student of Christ is essential for every believer and husbands need to be studious concerning their wives. My biggest disappointment in myself is that I was never consistent in this area. No doubt each marriage has special or infrequent developments that have proved challenging and somewhat disconcerting, but it is always advantageous to follow God’s order staying away from the possible chaos that could ensue. Don’t allow yourself to be distracted by work, the house, the yard, a hobby, sports, or even TV and the internet. Pay careful attention to your wife; she represents a special gift from God to you specifically.  

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^[1] William MacDonald, Believer’s Bible Commentary: Old and New Testaments, ed. Arthur Farstad (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1995), 2268.

^[2] Roger M. Raymer, “1 Peter,” in The Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures, ed. J. F. Walvoord and R. B. Zuck, vol. 2 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1985), 849.

God’s Order for a Wife (Part 1)

 

“God’s Order for a Wife” 

1 PETER 3:1-6

SUBJECT: SUBMISSION APPLIED TO MARRIAGE

THEME: each believing wife is to submit to her own husband in God’s order for marriage as a matter of trusting God.

RELEVANCE: though much of marriage is thrilling, our experiences can become unfair and sometimes painful; those who are the most intimate can hurt us deeply. Undoubtedly this is the case in marriage. To further complicate matters, many Christian couples are oblivious of what God calls them to deeming ‘God way’ as outdated. Regardless as children of God we are expected to accept God’s order and conduct ourselves accordingly even in poor circumstances. The obligation to trust God and embrace a better future are thus directed and reinforced in marriage.

INTRODUCTION:

Every relationship requires some work, labor, adjustments, growth, change, and effort if it is to serve God’s intentions and be mutually beneficial for all parties. Certainly, this is true in marriage.  

“No pain, no palm; no thorns, no throne; no gall, no glory; no cross, no crown.”—William Penn (1644–1718)

Marriage affords us a unique opportunity to deepen our sanctification, build together, and focus on eternal goals with the guarantee the tunings and personal progress will be worth it in the end.

There are basically three ideas regarding submission and marriage in this short series:

• The acknowledgement of God’s order for all believers
• The wife’s submission to the Lord as she follows her husband     
• The husband’s submission to the Lord by providing leadership for his wife and family

It is imperative that we acknowledge God’s order for marriage because this is one way we represent the Lord and propagate the Kingdom of God. Each person in a godly household exists to promote Jesus Christ and to demonstrate their personal commitment to advancing God’s reign and rule through proclaiming the gospel. This exhibit holiness, hope, and affords some happiness for couples, homes, and society in general. By doing this our Lord reigns in our experiences, is taken seriously, honored, and obeyed through believers who execute His will.  

 MESSAGE:

I.               Acknowledge God’s Order

A.    This is How These Ideas Should be Understood

                                                    i.     “Be in subjection to your own husbands. . .vs 3:1” This of course is the same word that appeared in chapter 1 Pet. 2:13 regarding human government, verse 18 regarding slaves, and in verse 3:5 regarding the character of holy women. 

1.     1 Pet 3:1, employs the word “Likewise” referring to the topic of “subjection” and now applies it to “wives.” Peter also makes a similar injunction for men applying ‘subjection’ to them (1Pet. 3:7).

2.     Submission here means that the Christian wife is to place herself under her own husband’s authority, control, and leadership as unto the Lord. A husband is to follow Christ’s leadership, He is accountable to God for his entire household, and he provides clarity and specificity on boarder kingdom objectives. A wife is to place herself under such authority and employ her gifts and abilities to advance the husband’s purposes in Christ.   

                                                  ii.     It is submission to a wife’s “own” husband and not to men or society in general.

1.     It is the home that God would rule over that is in view, this is also true of churches as God choose men to take roles of leadership.

2.     Leadership for a specific household will vary from one to the next. There is always something to learn from other believers and godly couples, but a wife is to follow her own husband’s lead in the home. Together they make a team for Christ with a team captain and a team member.

3.     God is not addressing the lost world outside of Christ; not work, not governments, and not the culture, or society. He is speaking only to real believers; what the world needs from us is more of the gospel.

                                                iii.     It is Important to Understand What God Does Not Mean When He Commands Submission:

1.     God does not mean that a wife should be subjected to a controlling tyrant, her enslavement, acquiescence to wife beatings, a disrespectful authoritarian, a chronic critic, an unfaithful deadbeat, or a self-absorbed manipulator!     

2.     God is not excusing a wife’s sarcasm, manipulation, disrespectfulness, big mouth—sharp tongue, belittling, lack of affection or intimacy, silent treatment, or undermining criticisms either.  

3.     NONE OF THESE IDEAS CONVEY WHAT GOD INTENDED BY SUBMISSION IN MARRIAGE! These are migrations away from God’s prescriptions; none of these represent what God has in mind for marriage.

                                                 iv.     What God intends by “subjection” is order, cooperation, and relationship—that a husband and wife are to walk together, hand in hand, throughout life to execute God’s purposes for a godly home. It is her willingly yielding her will to God’s authority and not forced subjugation manifesting trust, and humility to her husband as the God-ordained spiritual leader of that family. The Christian wife in obedience to God, assumes the proper order for her husband’s leadership, authority, and control so that God’s kingdom is advanced.

                                                   v.     For further emphasis, submission generates a trust in the sovereignty of God that frees a believer from fear and resentment over the way others treat us, posters us to serve the Lord more broadly, and helps us build a genuine love for others.

                                                vi.     “Subjection” also promotes viewing God as our real source of security and not merely ‘managing’ material means like using a man, a steady paycheck, money and excessive spending, or the government’s welfare dole. A lot of so-called ‘independence’ or ‘self-sufficiency’ would rapidly evaporate if the material props were suddenly taken away! To be at the mercy and whelm of mere people is the ridiculous place many find themselves in, but they mistakenly call it ‘independence’!

B.    Society Has Long Departed from God’s Order!

                                                    i.     Many reject the idea of women’s subjection in marriage as archaic, outdated, and old-fashioned. Some even react in anger and hostility against the Word of God and the preacher or person who deals with the subject.

                                                  ii.     Serving and providing service is still honorable, not a form of enslavement! We all exist to serve the Lord in some capacity, we serve each other, society in general, and the kingdom of God. Serving is what we all do; Christian marriage is yet another way to serve. It is not meant to be an institution designed to satisfy any person’s carnal desires. The focus is totally skewed when we insist the relationship exists to make us feel like a ‘king or queen.’ Marriage is not all about you; it is primarily about the Lord Jesus!

                                                iii.     Female leadership has invaded the church because it first invaded the home. Many believe the Bible ‘allows’ such changes if it is considered at all. Further too many young people are raised without any sense of a positive male role model in the home. These children, raised by their bitter mothers, learn to hate men also. These men may have wronged them, but we cannot ascribe such actions to all men. Unfortunately, such young girls have no idea of how to acquire a godly husband (most prefer to be impregnated by some guy from the hood), and they know even less about how to keep one—they have so few examples. The very notion is foreign to them!

                                                iv.     These young men are oblivious of the kind of leadership they are supposed to afford a home. No one demonstrated that for them…they never even heard of such. They don’t even expect to live out their lives; they anticipate a future of drugs, fornication, jail, or death. Again, this is complete ignorance…inexcusable, but unawareness!

C.    Please do not Confuse Gods’ Plan with Today’s Catastrophes!

                                                    i.     Some major challenges with marriage involve us reducing God’s plan and institution to personal feelings and preferences, cultural identity perimeters, manipulated court and divorce strategies, shortsighted laws, a way to realize personal rights, selfish innuendoes, self-centered reasons for leaving, and even assertions of sexual equality. God’s prescriptions unfortunately have been jumbled with human purposes, national traditions, blatant materialism, mere chauvinism, hyper-feminism, sexual equality, simple chivalry, our personal agenda/schemes, and other modern carnal adaptations!

                                                  ii.     Dating and marriage seem obsolete and old-fashioned while God’s ways are rejected and unexplored even though they cannot be improved upon! God made us…He best understands how we can live and work together in the home.

                                                iii.     What is God’s Order then? It is God’s plan to reach every person with the hope of Jesus Christ in the gospel (Matt. 28:19-20; Jn. 20:21-23). Each genuine believer is to serve God to achieve this end—God rules in the life that is devoted to his purpose. We must present ourselves, the people committed to us, and our resources to execute God’s kingdom agenda (Matt. 4:17; 5:3, 10; 6:13; Luk. 17:20-21; Rom. 14;17; 2Tim. 4:18; Jam. 2:5; 2 Pet.1:11). So, we place ourselves on the altar of God’s will (Rom. 12:1-2), we give the people we are responsible for to this undertaking, and we steward our belongings to administrate our portion of God’s plan. The ultimate goal is to manage God’s plan for us and our families demonstrating God’s order, rule, and authority over our lives.