A ‘Christian’ Family?

A ‘Christian’ Family?

 

Several reasons can be given for the breakup of Christian marriages.  One of the major reasons is a failure to understand the true biblical basis for Christian marriage. For a Christian marriage to withstand the pressures of a secular society, a couple must know and practice what God, the creator of marriage, has to say on the subject.  Many Christian couples’ marital foundation collapsed because they did not have a biblical underpinning.  We must also remember that secular humanism, social media, and feminism have ransacked the home and plagued it with problems like delinquency, social materialism, drug abuse, disrespect, abortion, pre-marital intercourse/sexual liberation, unwed motherhood, cheating/unfaithfulness, separation, and easy divorces.

Additionally, there are many reasons why godly men and women interpret the same biblical text differently. One reason is that ‘Protestants’ have no one to speak ex cathedra; each person is free to interpret the Bible for themselves. Secondly, we all tend to bring our own set of assumption to Bible interpreting and no two of us have the same set of assumptions. This obviously leads to many different conclusions about the meaning of a text.  This problematic area is further hampered by theological training, positions, and biases. These reasons account for why some people of equal scholarship differ on the same biblical text.

The phrase made in “the image of God” is important to the basic understanding of marriage.  Marriage is God’s idea and it did not come into being through evolutionary processes, nor is it a mere social invention.  Each person who enters this union must view themselves as ultimately accountable to God. Not merely to another human being, an institution, a church, a country, or kingdom, but responsible primarily to the Almighty. While this is simple, it should cause us to tremble with respect at the very notion of forsaking His plan in any particular. It’s a part of God’s design and this is reflected in the phrase, made in “the image of God.”  This ‘image’ is not physical, but spiritual and indicative of the personhood of God. God is relational and Trinitarian (Gen. 1:26, 27), therefore this ‘image’ points to the fact that we are created for relationships. We have the necessary equipment for personality, relationship, and accountability. Note the following comments by Walvoord,

Human life was created in (lit., “as,” meaning “in essence as”) the image of God (v. 27). This image was imparted only to humans (2:7). “Image” (ṣelem) is used figuratively here, for God does not have a human form. Being in God’s image means that humans share, though imperfectly and finitely, in God’s nature, that is, in His communicable attributes (life, personality, truth, wisdom, love, holiness, justice), and so have the capacity for spiritual fellowship with Him.

God’s purpose in creating human life in His image was functional: man is to rule or have dominion (1:26, 28). God’s dominion was presented by a “representative.”—Walvoord, John F. ; Zuck, Roy B. ; Dallas Theological Seminary: The Bible Knowledge Commentary

Furthermore, there are several noteworthy implications for the roles of men and women contained in the phrase “help meet for him.”  The first is the stated general fact that it is not good for man to be alone (Gen. 2:18) and after God created Eve and brought her to Adam, God viewed this as very good (Gen. 1:31).  The implication is that man is a social creature designed so by God.  In addition, a woman is clearly relational from the very beginning. Considering this, the term “help meet” means a helper “fit” or “suitable” or even “face to face” to him.  Some define it as ‘corresponding to’ the man. Thus, Eve’s role surpasses merely a helpmate, but a companion who would fulfill the social needs of Adam. She was assigned to a serving role in relation to her husband even before her creation by God. Walvoord affords insightful elaboration on this very concept and relates it to the preclusion of male leadership when he said,

God decided to make a helper suitable (lit., “a helper corresponding to him,” or “a corresponding helper”) for the man (v.18). “Helper” is not a demeaning term; it is often used in Scripture to describe God Almighty (e.g., Pss. 33:20; 70:5; 115:9, …). The description of her as “corresponding to him” means basically that what was said about him in Genesis 2:7 was also true of her. They both had the same nature. But what man lacked (his aloneness was not good) she supplied, and what she lacked he supplied. The culmination was one flesh (v. 24)—the complete unity of man and woman in marriage. Since Adam and Eve were a spiritual unity, living in integrity without sin, there was no need for instruction here on headship. Paul later discussed that in relationship to the order of Creation (1 Cor. 11:3; 1 Tim. 2:13).—Walvoord, John F. ; Zuck, Roy B. ; Dallas Theological Seminary: The Bible Knowledge Commentary

The natural desire for human companionship and communication is most perfectly satisfied in the marriage union. This dynamic satisfies God, Adam, and Eve! In fact, the social nature of people cries out for interaction with fellow human beings and is necessary for healthy development of personality. Beloved, this was God's original idea and design; it would require something huge to mess this up!

The fall of man changed or altered family relationships because sin was now in the world and this required leadership and submission to that leadership.  God invested the man with leadership responsibilities and required his wife and children to follow him. When Adam and Eve disobeyed God and judgment was pronounced that changed the relationship of husband and wife.  The curse placed on Eve was threefold: she was to experience pain in childbirth, her desire would be toward her husband, and he was to rule over her (Gen. 3:16).  Therefore, because of sin the original relationship between husband and wife had been distorted.  God moved Eve from a side-by-side and face to face arrangement to a subordinate position. Adam received a sentence under the curse involving pain and difficulty in his labors of the land (Gen. 3:17-19). The world was now different because of the fall and human relationships had to be rearranged to address this change.

My favorite Old Testament love story is that of Boaz and Ruth in the book of Ruth.  The evidence of God’s providential activity and care throughout the book and the theme of redemption are probably the primary reasons I prefer this story over some of the others. The story is not romantic from our Western perspective, but it is a strong testimony to God faithfulness to redeem and give the best to those who wait on Him and submit to His plans.

There are several verses in the Song of Solomon supporting the thesis that it is a collection of lyrics illustrating the passion of married love.  Note the word “spouse” in the following two verses:

"Come with me from Lebanon, my spouse, with me from Lebanon: look from the top of Amana, from the top of Shenir and Hermon, from the lions’ dens, from the mountains of the leopards." (Song of Solomon 4:8)

"I am come into my garden, my sister, my spouse: I have gathered my myrrh with my spice; I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey; I have drunk my wine with my milk: eat, O friends; drink, yea, drink abundantly, O beloved." (Song of Solomon 5:1)

Clearly employing the word ‘spouse’ placed these scenes and lyrics within the biblical context of marriage.

Several reasons could be sited as to why the Lord Jesus remained unmarried.  Christ lived in celibacy as a part of His personal self-denial.  If He had taken a wife, he could remain sinless (Heb. 13:4), but I believe He wanted to give Himself entirely to the Father’s will in His earthly ministry (Matt. 19:12).  This would be best served without a wife and family.  It would have been very difficult to abandon His family while suffering at Calvary and then ascending back to Heaven.  Even with His earthly ministry and the pace He maintain, would have been impossible while attempting to care for the needs of His family.

Remaining single enabled the Lord Jesus to choose a life of poverty and identify with the plight of the lowly and impoverished of Israel.  It facilitated His ministry to the poor (Heb. 2:17-18).  Further elaboration on the fitness of single life to ministry dedication is covered in 1Corinthians 7:32-35, and Walvoord who commented on these verses said,

The single state has potentially fewer encumbrances and distractions than the married state, so it more easily facilitates a spirit of undivided devotion to the Lord. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus warned His followers against letting concern for the material aspects of this life distract them from devotion to God (Matt. 6:25-34). The poor widow (Mark 12:44) gave all her material sustenance to God as an act of singular devotion. A married man or woman with a needful concern for the well-being of his family would have been less likely to do that. The situation illustrates Paul’s point that the single life with its greater simplicity in obligations allows a potentially greater commitment of time, resources, and self to the Lord than would be possible for a married person dutifully carrying out the marital and familial obligations attached to that state. –Walvoord, John F. ; Zuck, Roy B. ; Dallas Theological Seminary: The Bible Knowledge Commentary

There are several ways in which the love between husband and wife corresponds to the love of Christ for His bride, the church.  Consider the listing that follows:

1)    Since Christ loves the church, He affords it His excellent leadership.  A loving husband will show love by leading his wife after Christ godly model (Eph. 5:23, 24).

2)   Since Christ loves the church, He gave Himself sacrificially for its welfare.  A loving husband will likewise give himself in sacrificial service for his wife’s spiritual welfare and physical protection (Eph. 5:23, 25).

3)   Since Christ loves the church, He seeks and provides for her purity and cleansing (Eph. 5:26, 27).  A loving husband will also pursue the spiritual edification of his wife with his example and Bible instruction. 

4)   Since Christ love for the church is evidence by His care for it as His spiritual body, a husband should care for His wife and provide for her needs (Eph. 5:28-30).

5)   As Christ initiated and sustains a lasting relationship with His bride, the church, husbands must follow the instructions of Gen. 1:24, leave, cleave, one flesh, to maintain the marriage longevity (Eph. 5:31).

There is obviously a relationship or connection associated with following biblical principles and the successful 'Christian' marriage.  Though our culture may reject, even refuse and discredit the Bible basis for marriage and the principles the Scriptures afford for the welfare of the Christian home, they are never-the-less relevant and promising.  The Scriptures account for 'sin' entering in and impacting marriage in a negative manner. God provided a temporary fix that involves leadership for men and followership for wives. While the idea of marriage was never rescinded by God, anyone contemplating this institution much carefully consider these roles and responsibilities. Wherever they disagree as a couple, he such view himself as accountable to God first. When two Christian young people implement these principles in everyday life, their marriage will prove to be a blessing to them and glorifying to God.  When God’s Word is diligently applied to matrimony, it produces satisfaction and fulfillment in relationships the humanistic philosophies of the world cannot assail. 

 

The Road to Maturity in Christ III

The Road to Maturity in Christ

1 Corinthians 3:1–4

Theme: The Christian journey leads to maturity in the Word, discernment, and righteous decision-making.

Relevance: God designed the Christian life to grow continuously into obedience dominated by His Spirit and will.

Introduction:

During Paul's ministry in Corinth, he tried to feed his spiritual children and help them mature in the Faith. Much like a normal family, everybody helps the new baby grow and mature, so in the family of God we must encourage spiritual maturity. We want to observe this progress in three movements.

Message:

I.   “Walk as Men” (1 Cor. 3:3).

II. “Ye are Yet Carnal” (1 Cor 3:1, 3).

III.  “As Unto Spiritual” (1 Cor. 3:1).

A.   Mature in Christ

                                                   i.     Spiritual refers to saved individuals who are dominated by the Holy Spirt and Obey the Word. This is exactly where the Lord would have us to be, but not many ‘believers’ actually appreciate this kind of commitment. We are basically selfish creatures so we think a large part of ‘maturity’ accommodates our desire for comfort, convenience, and quick fixes.

                                                 ii.     A Christian matures by allowing the Spirit to teach him and direct him by feeding on the Word. True wisdom from God is revealed by the Spirit (1Cor. 2:6–13) to those who are “mature.” This maturity is like a fruit which has developed to completion and perfection; it is ripe. Such believers are fulfilled by their employment by Christ, they are daily listening to the Spirit…they study, memorize, and meditate on Scripture as a means of securing and executing God’s plan. They cherish the idea of God’s Word richly indwelling them and guiding their hearts and minds.

                                               iii.     The usual observation is that "milk" represents the easy things in the Word, while "meat" represents the hard doctrines. But according to Heb 5:10-14, "milk" represents what Jesus Christ did on earth, while "meat" speaks of Christ’s present ministry in heaven. The current heavenly priesthood of Jesus Christ should be explored and relied on, but immaturity will prevent this (Heb. 6:1-3). Christ is ascended, received, enthroned, empowered, reigning, interceding in heaven now, and anticipating his return to earth. The mature Christian not only rejoices in these truths, but they hang on to them as holy comfort from God during harnesses and persecutions. 

B.   Feed on the Word

                                                   i.     Spiritual maturity involves many things. Hebrews 5:11–14 teaches three principles about spiritual maturity as compared with spiritual immaturity:

1.    First, maturity takes time (v. 12). The believers need to be exposed to the truth of the Word and see it modeled in others over time. They rely on others to teach and explain the Bible to them. God will apply it to the individual life.

2.    Second, maturity involves growth in the knowledge of the Word of God (v. 13). Babies in Christ can only handle the simple things of the gospel (1 Pet. 2:2). Spiritual development (or deformity) is directly related to the amount of intake of the Word. These believers can feed themselves from the Bible.

3.    Finally, spiritual maturity involves experience in the use of the Word in discerning between good and bad, or truth and error (vv. 13, 14). This is to be a disciplined exercise in spiritual discernment. Such believers can teach others and engage in spiritual warfare successfully. (W. W. Wiersbe)

                                                 ii.     The Word of God is our spiritual food: milk (1 Peter 2:2), bread (Matt 4:4), meat (Heb 5:11-14), and even honey (Ps 119:103) just as the physical man needs a balanced diet if his body is to be healthy, so the inner man needs a balanced diet of spiritual food. The baby begins with milk, but as he grows and his teeth develop, he needs solid food.

1.    It is not difficult to determine a believer's spiritual maturity, or immaturity, if you discover what kind of “diet” he enjoys.

2.    The immature believer knows little about the present ministry of Christ in heaven. He knows the facts about our Lord's life and ministry on earth, but not the truths about His present ministry in heaven. He lives on "Bible stories" and not Bible doctrines. He has no understanding of 1 Cor 2:6-7. Unfortunately, they are more focused on themselves than the Lord Jesus. (W. W. Wiersbe)

C.   Makes Bible Based Decisions

                                                   i.     In my ministry, I have preached in hundreds of churches and conferences; and I have always been grateful for congregations that wanted to be enlightened and edified, not entertained.

1.    It is important that we preach the Gospel to the lost, but it is also important that we interpret the Gospel to the saved.

2.    The entire New Testament is an interpretation and application of the Gospel. Romans, for example, does not tell us how to be saved - because they were already believers. It explains what was really involved in our salvation. It is an explanation of the "deep things of God" and how they apply to daily life. Sound Bible-based knowledge is key.

                                                 ii.     There is another way to determine maturity; the mature Christian practices love and seeks to get along with others. Children like to disagree and fuss. And children like to identify with heroes, whether sports heroes or Hollywood heroes. The "babes" in Corinth were fighting over which preacher was the greatest - Paul, Apollos, or Peter. It sounded like children on the playground or adults on a “Monday after the big game”! 

Conclusion:

When immature Christians, without spiritual discernment, get into places of leadership in the church, the results will be disastrous. Such compromises regarding commitment levels are a formula for disappointment and disingenuous behavior. More than one brokenhearted pastor has lamented wondering what to do with church officers or significant church members who talk big but live small. Also, sometimes it is the officers who wonder what to do with an immature pastor!

The Christian must drive forward focusing on maturity in the Word, discernment in life, and righteous decision-making pursuant of God’s plan. We will make mistakes and experience serious failures along the way, but you are not the first one. Still…go on with the Lord. It is costly and painful breaking away from ‘fleshly’ carnal living. Staying tune to God’s will gets extremely uncomfortable at times, but we must stay focused on the Lord to sustain us. God literally designed us to grow continuously into a lifestyle of obedience dominated increasingly by His Spirit and will. Many fellow ‘believers’ will not necessarily appreciate this because they desire traditions far more than truth. ‘Comfort’ and ‘happiness’ cannot be a mature Christian’s determining factors.

     1.    Again, some need to be saved today—I mean really 'get the goods' being born again. Stop putting it off and trust Christ as your Savior and Lord now.

     2.    Others need to make the choice to pursue spiritual development and real progress. Stop faking divine advancements; refuse to be like the Pharisees any longer. Study the Word, apply God’s truth, use God-given discernment, and make decisions that reflect God’s rule in your life and ministry.

     3.  Yet others need to keep their eyes fixed on our risen, enthroned, interceding, and soon coming Great High Priest, Jesus Christ. He is your everything and He can meet your every need. Look unto him continually! 

Are We Privileged?

 

Are We Privileged? 

Malachi 1:2-3

SUBJECT: CHOSEN BY GOD

THEME: Be thankful for the blessings of love, privilege, and hope from God upon our personal lives, our homes, our churches, and our county.

RELEVANCE:  the Sovereign Choices of God (in the past) Concerning Israel’s General Conditions and Quality of Life Should be Viewed as an Act of His Love. 

INTRODUCTION: 

1. Again, thankfulness requires reflection on our lives as we consider or count what God has given us. We don’t want to ignore, dismiss, or take any blessings from God for granted.

2.  In contrast, it is quite common anymore to be counseled to “check your privilege!” This seems to indicate that some people enjoy certain opportunities while others aren’t as fortunate. There seems to be a violation of equality inherent to this notion…with certain privileges…it is perceived that something is unfair, inequitable, or fallacious. Today, we will examine this concept along with several others that Malachi, the prophet highlighted.

MESSAGE:

I. We Enjoy Great Love from God, but Some People Ignore It (Mal. 1:1-2).

We have studied this idea in the previous post.

II.  We Enjoy Great Privileges from God, but Some People are Irresponsible (Mal. 1:2-3).

   — It is a fact that there is a difference in the privileges afforded different peoples as a result of God’s own sovereign choices. “I loved Jacob, and I hated Esau.” This is the same as saying, “I choose Jacob for my purposes, but rejected Esau.”

The Hebrew words for loved and hated refer not to God’s emotions but to His choice of one over the other for a covenant relationship (cf. Gen. 29:31–35; Deut. 21:15, 17; Luke 14:26). To hate someone meant to reject him and to disavow any loving association with him (cf. Ps. 139:21). ^[a]

Including some while excluding others is at the heart of special privileges. When you're privileged, you enjoy some special rights or advantages that the majority or even no one else has. You could be privileged to live in a lighthouse and have a spectacular view of the bay. Those of us who have been around the US military know officers and senior NCOs who have certain privileges, but they also shoulder giant responsibilities for our country--‘RHIP’. Congressmen represent their states and districts, and they enjoy opportunities, prerogative, and freedoms many Americans do not, but they bear many obligations, duties, and burdens on our behalf. People can be privileged in many different ways and with a myriad of agencies, but it basically means that they’re getting some unusual deal that others don’t enjoy because they don’t qualify or were never initiated. Even being in this country comes with its share of privileges and responsibilities!

We as Christians belong to a special class who enjoy tremendous favor from God. We literally have rich spiritual privileges in Christ. Being chosen by God to join His Kingdom is a divine privilege (Ephesians 2:8-10). God invited us into an elite family. He included us with His most trusted servants and wanted us to live with Him forever. And God made Christ the head of His family. It has nothing to do with our ethnicity, political affiliation, socio-economic status, or social class, but weather or not you belong to God through Jesus Christ.

A.  GOD’S CHOICE IMPLY HIS PURPOSE.

Why was Jacob more privileged than Esau? Was God capricious or arbitrary in his selection?

     1.  Not According to Human Performance.  

         — Not because he had a better moral character.

         — In some respects he appears more unworthy than Esau. It was simply because God chose to distinguish him.

         — Unconditionally, and completely apart from any consideration of human merit, God elected Jacob and his descendants! 

         — No one should conclude that God does not love His people just because He afflicted them, but rather He loves them because He elected them.

     2.  But, According to Divine Purpose.

          A.  His purpose for them to become His heirs of promise (Rom. 9:6–29).

          B.  The reason for God’s choice was in His mind, and nowhere else. 

Ephes. 1:11, In whom also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will:

          C.  God always works in accordance with a plan, we must learn to trust Him and His will even during the difficulties of life. Romans 8:28-29, And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. [29] For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.

God’s choice is neither capricious nor is it an arbitrary choice. God does not make choices like that.^[b]

B.  GOD’S CHOICE DOES NOT IMPLY OUR IRRESPONSIBILITY.

His sovereignty does not negate our responsibility; it does not imply either of two things.

   1. It Does Not Mean Partiality on God’s Part.

The fact that the Jewish people, the descendants of Jacob, in their history endured, perhaps, calamities as great as those that befell the Edomites, the descendants of Esau, proved that there was no partiality on God's part. He is no Respecter of persons. God remains unbiased, unbigoted, conscientious, independent, and egalitarian!  

Romans 9:15-16, For he saith to Moses, I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. [16] So then it is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that sheweth mercy.

Romans 2:11, For there is no respect of persons with God.

Application: God does not show partiality or favoritism based on external factors such as social status, ethnicity, or outward appearance. We need to underscore the impartiality of God’s judgment and His fairness in treating all people equally. God loves everyone alike. There is nothing we can ever do to make God love us more and there is nothing we can ever do that will make God love us less. God’s nature is love! Yet even though we’re loved by God, people still have a serious dilemma. God will still judge people fairly.

Application: We must not view God as some friendly TV sitcom dad. God sits in heaven on a sovereign throne, not an easy chair. The heavenly Father is the holy Judge.

   2.  It Does Not Mean Irresponsibility on Man’s Part. There are some applications it would be to our advantage to heed….

        A.  Do God’s Will with the Privileges He Affords You.

              1.  QUOTE: “They who have least, and bear most, may become better and happier than they who have most and suffer least.”— Godwin

              2.  QUOTE: “The permanent value of all things depends on the use which is made of them: the first often becoming last, and the last first.”  —D. Thomas

        B.  Be Responsible for the Choices You Make Regardless of Your Circumstances.

No argument can be drawn from the differences in a person’s circumstances as to which will be the most morally advantageous or disadvantageous according to their conduct. While the differences of one kind depend solely on the Divine will, the differences of the other kind are not irrespective of human choice.

Application: 1 Peter 1:17, And if ye call on the Father, who without respect of persons judgeth according to every man's work, pass the time of your sojourning here in fear:  Beloved, we should stop trying to convince ourselves and the people around us that we belong to this world. We should stop trying to fit in with many groups and stop sacrificing our responsibilities to be Christ-like. Believe me Jesus was not a closet-Christian! We must embrace our status as foreigners, strangers, and people in exile from our rightful country of Heaven. We need to live ‘holy’ like the Father we wait to be united with. And, yes, we should live with some amount of healthy fear or respect for Him. Christians are children of the God who is Father and Judge.

Application: We must choose to act as those who are God’s own people, rejecting the evil desires that drove our actions before we knew better. Our choices matter—“Be ye holy; for I am holy” (1Pet.1:16). Our God placed a high value on our lives, paying for them with the blood of Christ. Since God has made us able, we must now strive to earnestly give love to God and each other.

Application: What are some of our privileges as God’s People?

1. Believers have the privilege of continually coming into the presence of Christ. Let’s do this daily through prayer, study of the Word, and the Christian church; this is our greatest honor (1Pet. 2:4; Heb. 4:15-16).
2. Believers have the privilege of being built into a house of God. We need one another, a brick has very little usefulness by itself. Also, because we are the house of God, we should be a holy place, set apart for God’s worship. Everything we do can be worship because we are his temple (1Pet. 2:5; 1Cor. 6:19-20).
3. Believers have the privilege of being priests that offer spiritual sacrifices. We should labor in prayer for others; we should serve others as priests in order to please and honor our God (1Pet. 2:5; Heb. 13: 15-16; Rom. 15:15-16).
4. Believers have the privilege of sharing in the honor of Christ. The glory given to Christ by God has been given to us (John 17:22). Though rejected by the world, along with Christ, we must rejoice in the coming honor and glory. We are co-heirs with Christ, and therefore, recipients of the coming kingdom. This honor shines even brighter against the destiny of the lost (1Pet 2:6-8; Rom. 8:28).

Let us give glory to God for our great and awesome privileges. Thank you, Lord, for these incredible honors. (Greg Brown, U.S. Navy Reserve Chaplain)

Application: Being defensive and argumentative complaining are typical of feeling ashamed, hurt, guilty, or attacked by God and the prophet Malachi. When facing such convictions by the Holy Spirit a wayward person tries to defend themselves from feeling angry, hurt, or ashamed! They perceive the truth or think that God is too harsh and critical for confronting them. This incredible lack of pliability is not recommended!

CONCLUSION.

Aren’t we as individuals, homes, churches, and Americans among the peoples whom God has specially blessed and smiled upon? Are these words not especially applicable to us, “I have loved you, saith the Lord”?

Above all, what about our Lord Jesus Christ? 1 John 4:10, Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

Thank you, Lord, for the blessings you have bestowed on my life. You have provided me with more than I could ever have imagined. You have surrounded me with people who always look out for me. You have given me family and friends who bless me every day with kind words and actions. There are many more blessings to thank You for, and they are as countless as the stars in the night sky. Your grace never fails to amaze me, O God.

---

^[a] Craig A. Blaising, “Malachi,” in The Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures, ed. J. F. Walvoord and R. B. Zuck, vol. 1 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1985), 1576.

^[b] J. Vernon McGee, Thru the Bible Commentary, electronic ed., vol. 3 (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1997), 993.

Plagues of Marriage

 

GENESIS 2:18-25

SUBJECT: THE FOUNDATION OF MARRIAGE

THEME: We must Return to the Lord’s Plan and Design for the Help of Our Marriages and the Preservation of Our Culture.  God’s Plan Is over 6, 000 Years Old, but it Still Holds out the Light of Hope and Fulfillment in this Age Darkened by Family Confusion and Social Corrosion. 

RELEVANCE: 

Is There Any Hope for the Institution of "Marriage"?  Some experts are saying that marriage as we now know it is on the way out. As divorce rates continue to climb, or at least stay at incredibly high levels, many people, in and out of the church, are growing doubtful about marriage. Even for seemingly "perfectly matched" couples, marriage has become more of a risk and curse instead of a blessing (H. N. Wright).

INTRODUCTION:

What is Marriage? Marriage is an exclusive relationship in which a man and a woman commit themselves to each other in covenant for life, and on the basis of this solemn vow become “one flesh” physically (Gen. 2:24; Mal. 2:14; Matt. 19:4-6). Christian Marriage involves two Christians, a Covenant of Commitment to each other, physical consummation of the union, and commitment to God’s plan for marriage. Marriage is a gift from God, and it was not just for convenience, nor was it brought about by any culture. It is wonderfully the Creator’s idea and He gave instructions to His creatures regarding it administration.

Many of the problems couples face in marriage persist because of ignorance, lack of diligence, or a failure to adhere to these basic spiritual principles of marriage. There are five major changes taking place in the institution of marriage today:

         ·       A decline in understanding between marriage partners.

         ·       Acceptance of the new morality, which is replacing Judeo-Christian values.

         ·       The spread of secular humanistic philosophy, which rivals Christian truth. 

         ·       The loss of determination to stay married.

         ·       The development of unrealistic marriage expectations.

LESSON:

FIVE CHANGES PLAGUING MARRIAGES.

A.    Decline of Understanding and Lack of Communication Go Together. Many couples today lack the kind of communication skills that produce the understanding necessary for a marriage to grow strong, or even exist.

       1.     Learn to Talk to Achieve Understanding. Understanding in a marriage doesn't mean that there are no differences. It does mean that you and your mate are able to talk about the differences and come to an understanding of each other's views. Mutual submission enables a couple to practice this form of communication (Eph. 5:21; 1Pet. 5:5). You are able to accept the fact that your partner was raised in a different fashion and because of that will react differently than you. Just because something was done in a certain manner in your home when you were growing up does not mean that it has to be done that same way in your new home.

       2.     Learn to Talk To Adjust to Each Other.

a.      Two people who love one another but are unable to understand each other suffer pain—a continual biting pain in their relationship. Understanding may not come easily, but a willingness to share views, to see the "other side of the question," to talk things out can help a husband and wife adjust and adapt to their honest differences of opinion.

b.     ILLUSTRATION:  Someone has likened this adjustment to two porcupines who lived in Alaska. When the deep and heavy snows came they felt the cold and began to draw close together. However, when they drew close they began to stick one another with their quills. When they drew apart they felt the cold once again. In order to keep warm they had to learn how to adjust to one another.

B.     Acceptance of the New Morality, which is Replacing Judeo-Christian Values. 

        1.     Moral refers to ideas of right and wrong behavior along with good and bad motives.  The ‘old morality’ was based on the Bible and the Ten Commandments. However, the new morality rejects this absolute standard for relativism, situation ethics, and whatever makes you happy. Remember, Paul warned Timothy of the perils of deceivers and false doctrines and dangerous philosophies (2Tim. 3:1, 6-9, 13; Col. 2:8).

        2.     I believe the “new morality” is negatively affecting the American family. In fact, this supposed “new morality” has led to a serious breakdown in traditional Judeo-Christian morality.  People are rejecting the Bible-based standards of moral behavior and wholly embracing the culture-based standards.

        3.     Because the culture-based standard of morality relaxes sensual prohibitions and eliminates sexual taboos, society is now suffering the consequences. In fact this ethical shift has resulted in a tremendous increase in sexually transmitted diseases (STD), illegitimate births, and abortions.  No-fault divorces create millions of single-parent families that have inherent difficulties.  Single mothers entered the workforce by the millions and latchkey kids have become a national concern.  Homosexual behavior, palimony, family violence, date rape, pornography, sexual harassment, drugs and alcohol addictions, alternative family lifestyles are some of the additional problems resulting from the disintegration of traditional morality.

C.    The Spread of Secular Humanistic Philosophy, which Rivals Christian Truth. 

         1.     What is secular humanism.  A good working definition of secular humanism can be found in Webster’s Dictionary, “a system of doctrines and practices that reject any form of religious faith and worship.” 

a.      The term secular humanists has been used to identify those who would remove religious influence from the institutions of American society—government, courts, education, economics, and media.

b.     In addition others describe humanists thusly, “In their self-definition God does not exist, and it is a destructive illusion to believe in him.  They promote a way of life that systematically excludes God and all religion in the traditional sense.”

c.      It is “an anti-Christian system of thought that influences every decision and most of a person’s actions.  It is anti-God, anti-moral, anti-self restraint, and anti-American.”—Tim LaHaye

          2.     We must not confuse humanism for humanitarianism.  It is interesting to note that humanist masquerade as humanitarians, but their belief is actually anti-human and they are the number one enemy of the traditional family.

a.      A true humanitarian will promote human welfare and social reform, but secular humanism inspires destructive relativistic value systems.  They firmly reject monogamous marriage as instituted by God. They fervently encourage easy divorces, remarriage, serial polygamy, rejection of biblical authority, situation ethics, hedonism, and extremes forms of women’s liberation, legalizing abortion, and the elimination of marriage.  This is a literal portrayal of life in the last days as Paul described it (2Tim. 3:1-5).  People are lovers of themselves and lovers of pleasure!

b.     There are four basic convictions that distinguish secular humanism from Christian humanism, “confidence in God and Christ; supernatural world-view; the power of Christ acting through the church; and incarnational humanitarianism.” 

c.      Francis Schaeffer insisted that the conflict is between the Judeo-Christian view of God with absolute values of right and wrong and a humanistic system “with only personal, arbitrary, relative values.”  The current conflict between Christianity and humanism is the age-old struggle between God and Satan, right and wrong, darkness verses light, sin against righteousness.

d.     God is the ultimate Final Reality.  He is the infinite personal God who is truly there.  To the God of the Bible things are not neutral.  There are definitely absolutes; there is right and wrong in the world.  He authored the Ten Commandments!

            3.     Since secular Humanists control the media, it would be helpful to beware of their impact.  Has television viewing had a negative influence on the American family?  How does it contribute to the violence in American culture? The impact of television on the American family is a net negative.  Since television programming is largely influenced by secular humanism, it is a moral descent from filth, smut, and innuendo to depravity.  

a.      It is their aim to destroy the country’s moral fiber and with it the traditional family.  They manipulate this communication tool to control the way people think and over exposure to secular input is “dangerous.” 

b.     Many parents use the television as a babysitting method, but this exposes the children to sex, profanity, and violence.  This is one of the leading causes of aggressive behavior in preschool children according to the National Institute of Mental Health.  In addition the violence viewed on television is being carried out in the homes, schools, and streets of the nation.  Generally, young people are desensitized to violence; this is presently a cultural reality in America.

D.    A Lack of Determination to Stay Married Is Seen Today on Every Hand.

         1.     Quitting Marriage is Alarmingly Common and Pervasive. To have had more than one husband or wife is not considered at all unusual.  As one woman filled out an application for a new job, she came to the question, "Married or Single?" Her answer: "Between marriages."

         2.     Impatience is a Massive Character Flaw Among Modern Couples. Many enter marriage with the attitude that if they do not get along they can break the relationship and try again. Many people are too impatient with their marriages. They do not want to live "happily ever after." They want to live "happily right away" and when this does not happen, they bail out. A grand helping of ‘patience’ would do the average marriage a lot of good and help the couple endure to finally experience fulfillment God’s way (Js. 1:2-7; 5:7-11; Rom. 5:1-5).

E.     Too Many Young Couples Enter Marriage Blinded by Unrealistic Expectations.

         1.     Young Couples Want Romance All the Time. They believe the relationship should be characterized by a high level of continuous romantic love. As one young adult said: "I wanted marriage to fulfill all my desires. I needed security, someone to take care of me, intellectual stimulation, economic security immediately—but it just wasn't like that!"

         2.     Young Couples Want a Cinderella “Magic.” People are looking for something "magical" to happen in marriage.  But magic doesn't make a marriage work: hard work does. When there are positive results in a relationship, it is because of two people working together one step at a time.

         3.     Married Couples Need to Return to God’s Enduring Plan for Marriage. This brings us back to the potential of hope, fulfillment, and happiness.  What then is a Christian marriage?

F.     Why should we be concerned about changes in the family? Every one of us should be concerned about changes in the family because the family does not exist in a vacuum.  It is interrelated with four other basic institutions of society: religious, economic, governmental, and educational institutions.  Changes in the family will dramatically affect the others.

CONCLUSION:

The problem is not the institution of marriage, but our view of Marriage and Family have greatly departed from God’s original plan. Our generation is actually watching the death of marriage from a biblical and traditional perspective.  But, God’s Enduring Plan for Married Life still shines like a beacon of hope to every couple and single alike. The preservation of the institution of Marriage can only be realized in our culture as we submit to God’s enduring plan.  It’s time for Christian marriages and families to demonstrate a way of living that is rewarding, meaningful, and fulfilling. God’s Plan for couples should be evident to the world as it looks at Christian marriages and families.  As we realize God’s plan in our lives we supply hope to the many others who need direction, counsel, and hope.