God's Order for Husbands (Part V)

 

“God’s Order for Husbands” 

1 PETER 3:7

SUBJECT: SUBMISSION AND MARRIAGE

THEME: Each believing husband is to submit to God’s order in his marriage.

RELEVANCE: the best husband first views his marriage as an expression of his submission to the Lord. Abandoning the ‘traditional,’ ‘romantic,’ and ‘institutional’ models of marriage he freely clings to God’s Order. He is not loyal to his wife primarily nor worldly models; the Christian husband is devoted to Christ first—above all. He fully submits to Christ’s authority in his life and seeks to guides his family accordingly. 

INTRODUCTION:

Clearly, a righteous husband following God’s order will be a man of prayer as a way of life. He lives in communion with God and He treasures deeply the company of Almighty God as he prays. With him prayer is not someone else’s suggestion, but a desire of his heart because he views all of life as God’s gracious gift to him, he never imagines a moment without sharing it with the Lord. Nothing disturbs him more than his sin against his Father. He is honest and repentant before God regarding failures, his goals center on executing God’s plans, and he is confident in God’s timing and involvement as a standard. He admits his imperfections regarding them as steppingstones on his journey. He really longs to share all of himself with the Lord even though he feels God is worthy of so much more. Consequently, he treats his wife as special partly because he rightly treasures this sweet communion with the Lord. 

MESSAGE:

IV. MANAGE CONTENTIONS IMMEDIATELY, 1 Pet. 3: 7, “…that your prayers be not hindered”

“Hindered” in 1 Peter 3:7, mean to cut off! That is a barrier or ‘cutting off’ of communication with God, meaning prayers become ineffective or unanswered due to broken interactions with your wife. So marital conflict, inconsiderate behaviors, or neglect can block a husband’s fellowship with God. Yes, this is mega-serious!

Marital contentions often stem from poor communication, financial stress, unequal division of household labor, and parenting disagreements. Other major causes include lack of intimacy, infidelity, diverging life goals, and interference from extended family. These issues often erode trust, create resentment, and lead to persistent conflict.—AI Overview

Other common infractions may include:

·      Poor Communication: Inability to listen, constant arguing, and lack of open dialogue.

·      Unwillingness to Apologize: A need to "win" arguments rather than resolve them.

·      Unrealistic Expectations: Assuming a partner knows what you are thinking or expecting them to be perfect. 

·      Infidelity: Emotional or physical cheating that damages trust.

·      Different Values/Goals: Disagreements on religion, life goals, or core beliefs.

·      In-laws/Extended Family: Excessive interference or boundary issues. 

·      External Pressure: Job stress, health problems, or trauma.

·      Substance Abuse: Addiction issues.

·      Selfishness or Pride: An unwillingness to consider the partner's needs or admit fault. .—AI Overview

So, we must be on guard against discord, disharmony, anger, wrath, rage, and taking out frustrations on our wives because God stands against us until correction has prevailed. A husband is not right with God, when he confesses his sin to God, he must endeavor to also make things right with his God-given wife. Not by avoiding or denying accountability, but by owning failures and actively pursuing behavioral changes. Marriage is a tool of personal sanctification! Unfortunately, I was well acquainted with anger and resentment; I had to trust God to remove this kind of negative control and influence from my life. God used these very same verses to help me, and He will do this for anyone. Couples are to live together in such a fashion as to prevent family related contentions. Disputes and misunderstandings will affect the spiritual health of the entire household, but these are also opportunities to grow.

God says, “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath” (Eph. 4:26). He requires addressing anger promptly to avoid sinful, prolonged bitterness or harboring resentment. God warns of the dangers of letting anger turn into a “foothold” the devil can exploit. Our anger should not last for days and lead to personal attacks; anger is never an excuse for weaponizing another’s weaknesses or vulnerabilities against them. We gravely destroy all trust by doing this.

Psalm 37:8, states, “Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.” Harboring rage or anxiety is never advisable even when there are apparent advantages because these emotional distresses ultimately lead to sinful actions. We are not to fall for this temptation, but trust God’s justice fully. So, we abandon intense, bitter rage and emotional turmoil, as these reactions lead to sin, harm, and destructive behaviors toward our spouse. When it comes to “anger” we must “cease”; we stop it immediately and completely. We also must let go of simmering resentment—"forsake wrath” to avoid irrational actions. We can trust the Lord to help us break free of sinful motives and controls. God expects a repentant heart in us as we depend on Him for real changes.

Ps 66:18, If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me:

Isa 59:2, But your iniquities have separated between you and your God, and your sins have hid his face from you, that he will not hear.

Seek to secure “peace” at home; do whatever is in your power that can be done to pursue peace. There are times when it is not all up to what you do or stop doing, but as for your part try to be ‘peaceful’ as one who must give account to our Lord.

Psalm 34:14-16, command us to, Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace, and pursue it. ¹⁵ The eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous, and his ears are open unto their cry. ¹⁶ The face of the Lord is against them that do evil, to cut off the remembrance of them from the earth.

Romans 12:18, says: “If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.” The Lord instructs us to make every effort to maintain peaceful relationships with everyone (especially at home), understanding that even with our responsible actions, total peace may not always be achievable. Remember, you are responsible for your own reactions, actions, and efforts toward peace, regardless of how others behave. There are instances of extreme opposition, so what God asks of us is perfectly realistic and not idealistic instructions. Christians do not pay back evil with more evil, but we overcome evil with good (Rom. 12:21). This requires initiative in resolving conflicts and maintaining a respectful, empathetic attitude towards our spouse. We are enabled by God to promote forgiveness and love to break the negative cycle, and these powerful instructions help us navigate this hostile world through Christ-centered behaviors.

QUOTE: “The sighs of the injured wife come between the husband’s prayers and God’s hearing.” Also it is very difficult for a couple to pray together when something is disrupting their fellowship. For the peace and welfare of the home it is important that the husband and wife observe a few facts:

             1.   Maintain absolute honesty in order to have a basis of mutual confidence.

             2.   Keep the lines of communication open. Always be willing to talk things out.

             3.   Overlook minor faults and idiosyncrasies.  Love covers a multitude of sins.

             4.   Strive for unity in finances.  Avoid overspending, installment buying, and the desire to keep up with the Joneses.

             5. Remember that love is a commandment, not an uncontrollable emotion.  Love means all that is included in 1 Cor. 13. Love is courteous, for instance; it will keep you from criticizing or contradicting your partner in front of others. Love will keep you from quarreling in front of your children, which could undermine their security.

            6. Always be ready to admit when you are wrong and always be ready to forgive when you have been wronged.”  Confession and Forgiveness are two powerful Christian principle. They are also two overlooked Christlike qualities!—Biggs and Macdonald

Another thing a husband must manage in order to avoid ‘hindrances’ to his fellowship with God is prioritizing and insisting on God’s order! God’s order is always first and foremost for him! God calls husbands to lead in their homes, and their respective wives are responsible for being submissive to that leadership. Men must provide leadership in the church also according to the Scriptures. If the home has a ‘bossy wife’ and the church has ‘domineering women’, it will be more difficult to have a peaceful home and a fruitful church. If the husbands are too weak to lead, then the wives will quickly insist on providing ‘Jezabel leadership’ in their stead. This is NOT God’s order! We men, husbands, must learn to lead! God has never changed or compromised His order and prescriptions for the Christian home, and He is not about to start now. This ‘Jezabel spirit’ does not belong in a Christian home or church. Women liberation has not done any favors for women in general, and it is certainly antithetical for homes and churches for Christian wives. As believers, we need to be loyal to God’s order always. Perhaps understanding that ‘order’ will provide us men with the Lord’s leadership as we so desperately stand in need of it.

If we husbands and wives apply ourselves to adhere to God’s order, we will have a Christ-honoring marriage and our prayers will be considered, answered, and granted.

CONCLUSION:

Married couples need to give careful attention to the instructions of 1 Peter 3:1-7. Many of us have heard the bulk of these thoughts. The problem is we refuse to submit ourselves to the wise counsel of God. Much pain and marital damage could be avoided if we listen to God. Also, if the changes are challenging and even painful because we accepted God’s Order, we are confident that such ‘growing pains’ are worth the transitions. Keep going…don’t ever give up on Christ.

It is imperative that we acknowledge God’s order for our marriages, because therein is the hope of happiness and fulfilment for couples in the Lord. This fulfillment will differ from the ‘world’ ideas, but life with Christ is forever and not fleeting. When we make such choices, our Lord is honored, respected, and obeyed through our submissive lifestyles toward Him. 

The best husband is the man who first views his relationship with his wife as an expression of his submission to the Lord Jesus. It really does not matter who your wife is or what she is not, but it does matter that you acknowledge Christ’s authority in your life and marriage and submit yourself to his order.   

Finally, I do not want to give the impression that I have arrived, and I routinely observe these instructions. Like Paul I am still striving for the mastery of these helpful principles (Phil. 3:7-15). I know about failures. Mirroring Jesus or Christlikeness is the goal I am still aiming for (2Cor. 3:17-18). No, I am yet learning, growing, and becoming. Like yourselves I am on this journey (Rom. 8:28-29) with others…so is your spouse on a ‘life voyage’ together with you. In fact, passages like this one help me understand my failures in the light of God’s expectations. That is while acknowledging my own catastrophes and weaknesses, I still have real hope of becoming more like my Lord Jesus.

This is only possible when a man has a well-ordered home by submitting to his Lord, Jesus Christ. Gentlemen today would be a good time to crown him as LORD of your home!

God's Order for Husbands (Part IV)

“God’s Order for Husbands” 

1 PETER 3:7

SUBJECT: SUBMISSION AND MARRIAGE

THEME: Each believing husband is to submit to God’s order in his marriage.

RELEVANCE: the best husband first views his marriage as an expression of his submission to the Lord. Abandoning the ‘traditional,’ ‘romantic,’ and ‘institutional’ models of marriage he freely clings to God’s Order. He is not loyal to his wife primarily nor worldly models; the Christian husband is devoted to Christ first—above all. He fully submits to Christ’s authority in his life and seeks to guides his family accordingly.

INTRODUCTION:

God commands husbands to “honor” their wives not only because of their physically vulnerable, but also as spiritual equals before Him. Like you, your wife enjoys a relationship and access through Christ to our heavenly Father. Our wives should not be viewed automatically as spiritually weaker or inferior. Remember the modern women liberation movement has not accomplished any advances for modern women in general. In fact, many women have been gravely degraded and some ruined under the pretense of ‘freedom’ and independence. While most men have lost their way…confused by the modern emphasis on female ‘liberation,’ and generally uncertain about a man’s role going forward. Then with multiple social media outlets nowadays, men fear being mischaracterized as a ‘creep’ or ‘preying on women’ in an ill-advised video post.  

MESSAGE:

III.  RESPECT HER IDENTICAL SPIRITUAL RAPPORT 1 Pet. 3:7, … “and as being heirs together of the grace of life”

It is true husbands and wives needed this kind of instruction in the first century and certainly we need it today. Women were not treated like God prescribed in the NT and husbands were not viewed with the responsibilities God identified in this and similar passages. We make a grave mistake when we conclude “Christianity” is responsible for holding back women and progress. Remember God’s order was totally foreign against the first century cultural backdrop…the social context in which the NT was written. According to the NT, wives were treated with love, honor, respect, and dignity by their husbands. This was unheard of in every other religion or practice in the entire world!

The modern matrimonial ideas cannot be taken as ‘Christian’ simply because they really are not. God did not and does not author this type of behavior. We ‘worship’ God only and not wives or husbands—God has never referred to the role of a ‘wife’ as a “queen” or ‘goddess’ nor the role of a ‘husband’ as a “king.” ‘Things that are different are not the same!’ My beliefs are that these misconceptions are carnal philosophies invented by confused, insecure, and puzzled people. Folks who feel intitled to grander privileges instead of concentrating on their service to God and their families is a feature of modern ‘Christianity’ in many sectors. Again, God is not responsible for this confusion, the devil is!

One cultural mistake is basic inequality of personhood based on genders. This flawed view holds that men have greater value than women or men have more rights than women. Another idea is that women are naturally inferior to men. These are just a few of the cultural ideas that have at times snuck their way into “Christian” thinking, but God did not say this ever! These common ‘gender wars’ have ensued for millennia without real winners…in fact, every culture that embraces these wrong ideas loses. Remember, saved women and men will receive rewards at the Judgment Seat of Christ that will result in awarding various positions during the Kingdom Age. The Lord Jesus as the Judge will not make these false distinctions based on gender. “Good,” “faithful,” and “servant” (Matt. 25:21-23, 34, 47; Luke 12:41-48) will be the heart of the criteria and not a believers’ gender. Those who use their gifts and opportunities responsibly will be generously rewarded. It is wonderfully conceivable and probable that many Christian women will be rewarded with elevated positions and important new roles during the Kingdom Age. We need to refocus onto God’s criteria!

Physically women are typically ‘weaker,’ they have always been…women were never intended to be men! Praise God; life is not meant to be a competition!!! Women should never be expected to perform like men…the criterion for a woman is very different from the criterion of a man. So, the average woman does not have the physical strength of the average man, but that’s about it. Women in general are supposed to be more emotional, soft, receptive, and nurturing! Spiritual equality is presented from God’s perspective and Christian husbands are called to recognize this component by accepting her identical value. God champions interdependency regarding the two genders (1 Cor. 11:11-12); such mutual reliance demonstrates God’s general design for people, but not necessarily ideas of gender independence or superiority.

1. She is a Joint heir with You. V. 7, “being heirs together of the grace of life”

What is “the grace of life”? Husbands along with their wives are joint “heirs” of God’s divine favor in eternal life, salvation! They share redemption together, so spouses are equal in their spiritual standing. Couples are designed to honor each other, inherit this grace, recognize each other as spiritual partners, and ensure our prayers are not rejected. Marriage then is an opportunity to experience grace together also, rather than only as individuals. These ongoing, gracious blessings of salvation are experienced in vital fellowship with God.

It would be correct to recall that this measure of equality is uniquely a Christian idea; generally, women were not spiritual or social equals in the first century in Greco-Roman and Jewish cultures. In contrast, the Lord Jesus treated women with unusual dignity and respect; his actions, ideals, and teachings influenced the early churches to do likewise. This is just one place where the value of womanhood is elevated through the nobleness of being a wife. It is partly in her hands that God entrust the most valuable creatures on earth, a human baby. Yes, even though she as a wife fills a role as a follower, she stands tall as a spiritual equal to her husband before God. She is a real “help meet” (Gen. 2:18) to her husband!

2. She Can be a Prayer Warrior Also. V7, “that your prayers”

A godly husband certainly is a man who prays to stay in touch with God and as a ‘living’ sacrificial offering. He consistently brings his family challenges and victories before the Lord…he cherishes deeply this vital connection throughout each day. He adores God above all else and routinely praises Him for His perfections and glory. The husband is also cognizant of his wife’s spiritual value and appreciates this quality as he visits in prayer with the Lord.

A godly wife can approach the throne of grace on behalf of her husband, her family, ‘friends,’ and her own challenges; God will listen interestedly to her prayers and meets her needs accordingly. Often God’s kingdom-related will is advanced through the prayers and activities of godly wives. She is authorized to cry out to the Lord, and our Father enjoys communion with her in a fantastic way. Her great power is wonderfully spiritual in this respect; she is worth more than ten mountains of gold because she knows how to touch the heart of God. Certainly, God is well acquainted with her prayers, midnight cries, hot tears of intercession, her confessions and accountability to Him, and her sometimes lengthy talks with Him. She is deeply spiritual…dominated intentionally by the Spirit of grace! She is not prideful, demanding, or arrogant but surrendered and humbly confident in her God! Listening to her pray move you into an awareness that you have entered the actual presence of God. At times she ushers you closer to the matchless heart of the Almighty!

So many Christian wives do not even realize they have such an inroad to access God! They are oblivious of such approaches, or they neglect Him who is divine. Many wives are seduced by carnal stuff and desires while precious few labor in the home and in prayers. An abundance of wives are even more impressed with human temporal powers instead of divine-mountain-moving power with God. They usually wear their husband’s rank, status, or achievements more fervently than he does. They push their husbands to be and do more because deep down they believe they are worth more. They attempt to use God and ‘Christianity’ for carnal gains…more money and power are usually the real reasons. Too many are like Queen Ataliah and Queen Jezabel but not enough are anything like praying and sacrificial Hannah. But praise the Lord for wives who are mighty warriors as praying women! Such a wife is a precious jewel to God and anyone else who makes her acquaintance.

QUOTE: “A man’s attitude toward his wife should recognize the fact that she is a fellow heir of the grace of life. This refers to a marriage in which both are believers.  Though weaker than the man in some ways, the women enjoys equal standing before God and shares equally the gift of everlasting life.  Also she is more than her husband’s equal in bringing new physical life into the world.”—William Macdonald

Men, we can depend on our wives to be real spiritual assets to the building of our homes. She can be your best prayer partner; she can at times be a tremendous source of objective counsel. A good wife can be a terrific help in evaluating a given situation, or in helping to make plans for the family’s future. She can contact God and believe God just like you can. Thank God for spiritual wives who realize what they have in Christ and seek the good of their relationship with their husbands. Praise the Lord for wives who are responsive, feminine, selfless, obedient, faithful, authentic, soft, and God-centered in their beliefs and behaviors.

The Road to Maturity in Christ III

The Road to Maturity in Christ

1 Corinthians 3:1–4

Theme: The Christian journey leads to maturity in the Word, discernment, and righteous decision-making.

Relevance: God designed the Christian life to grow continuously into obedience dominated by His Spirit and will.

Introduction:

During Paul's ministry in Corinth, he tried to feed his spiritual children and help them mature in the Faith. Much like a normal family, everybody helps the new baby grow and mature, so in the family of God we must encourage spiritual maturity. We want to observe this progress in three movements.

Message:

I.   “Walk as Men” (1 Cor. 3:3).

II. “Ye are Yet Carnal” (1 Cor 3:1, 3).

III.  “As Unto Spiritual” (1 Cor. 3:1).

A.   Mature in Christ

                                                   i.     Spiritual refers to saved individuals who are dominated by the Holy Spirt and Obey the Word. This is exactly where the Lord would have us to be, but not many ‘believers’ actually appreciate this kind of commitment. We are basically selfish creatures so we think a large part of ‘maturity’ accommodates our desire for comfort, convenience, and quick fixes.

                                                 ii.     A Christian matures by allowing the Spirit to teach him and direct him by feeding on the Word. True wisdom from God is revealed by the Spirit (1Cor. 2:6–13) to those who are “mature.” This maturity is like a fruit which has developed to completion and perfection; it is ripe. Such believers are fulfilled by their employment by Christ, they are daily listening to the Spirit…they study, memorize, and meditate on Scripture as a means of securing and executing God’s plan. They cherish the idea of God’s Word richly indwelling them and guiding their hearts and minds.

                                               iii.     The usual observation is that "milk" represents the easy things in the Word, while "meat" represents the hard doctrines. But according to Heb 5:10-14, "milk" represents what Jesus Christ did on earth, while "meat" speaks of Christ’s present ministry in heaven. The current heavenly priesthood of Jesus Christ should be explored and relied on, but immaturity will prevent this (Heb. 6:1-3). Christ is ascended, received, enthroned, empowered, reigning, interceding in heaven now, and anticipating his return to earth. The mature Christian not only rejoices in these truths, but they hang on to them as holy comfort from God during harnesses and persecutions. 

B.   Feed on the Word

                                                   i.     Spiritual maturity involves many things. Hebrews 5:11–14 teaches three principles about spiritual maturity as compared with spiritual immaturity:

1.    First, maturity takes time (v. 12). The believers need to be exposed to the truth of the Word and see it modeled in others over time. They rely on others to teach and explain the Bible to them. God will apply it to the individual life.

2.    Second, maturity involves growth in the knowledge of the Word of God (v. 13). Babies in Christ can only handle the simple things of the gospel (1 Pet. 2:2). Spiritual development (or deformity) is directly related to the amount of intake of the Word. These believers can feed themselves from the Bible.

3.    Finally, spiritual maturity involves experience in the use of the Word in discerning between good and bad, or truth and error (vv. 13, 14). This is to be a disciplined exercise in spiritual discernment. Such believers can teach others and engage in spiritual warfare successfully. (W. W. Wiersbe)

                                                 ii.     The Word of God is our spiritual food: milk (1 Peter 2:2), bread (Matt 4:4), meat (Heb 5:11-14), and even honey (Ps 119:103) just as the physical man needs a balanced diet if his body is to be healthy, so the inner man needs a balanced diet of spiritual food. The baby begins with milk, but as he grows and his teeth develop, he needs solid food.

1.    It is not difficult to determine a believer's spiritual maturity, or immaturity, if you discover what kind of “diet” he enjoys.

2.    The immature believer knows little about the present ministry of Christ in heaven. He knows the facts about our Lord's life and ministry on earth, but not the truths about His present ministry in heaven. He lives on "Bible stories" and not Bible doctrines. He has no understanding of 1 Cor 2:6-7. Unfortunately, they are more focused on themselves than the Lord Jesus. (W. W. Wiersbe)

C.   Makes Bible Based Decisions

                                                   i.     In my ministry, I have preached in hundreds of churches and conferences; and I have always been grateful for congregations that wanted to be enlightened and edified, not entertained.

1.    It is important that we preach the Gospel to the lost, but it is also important that we interpret the Gospel to the saved.

2.    The entire New Testament is an interpretation and application of the Gospel. Romans, for example, does not tell us how to be saved - because they were already believers. It explains what was really involved in our salvation. It is an explanation of the "deep things of God" and how they apply to daily life. Sound Bible-based knowledge is key.

                                                 ii.     There is another way to determine maturity; the mature Christian practices love and seeks to get along with others. Children like to disagree and fuss. And children like to identify with heroes, whether sports heroes or Hollywood heroes. The "babes" in Corinth were fighting over which preacher was the greatest - Paul, Apollos, or Peter. It sounded like children on the playground or adults on a “Monday after the big game”! 

Conclusion:

When immature Christians, without spiritual discernment, get into places of leadership in the church, the results will be disastrous. Such compromises regarding commitment levels are a formula for disappointment and disingenuous behavior. More than one brokenhearted pastor has lamented wondering what to do with church officers or significant church members who talk big but live small. Also, sometimes it is the officers who wonder what to do with an immature pastor!

The Christian must drive forward focusing on maturity in the Word, discernment in life, and righteous decision-making pursuant of God’s plan. We will make mistakes and experience serious failures along the way, but you are not the first one. Still…go on with the Lord. It is costly and painful breaking away from ‘fleshly’ carnal living. Staying tune to God’s will gets extremely uncomfortable at times, but we must stay focused on the Lord to sustain us. God literally designed us to grow continuously into a lifestyle of obedience dominated increasingly by His Spirit and will. Many fellow ‘believers’ will not necessarily appreciate this because they desire traditions far more than truth. ‘Comfort’ and ‘happiness’ cannot be a mature Christian’s determining factors.

     1.    Again, some need to be saved today—I mean really 'get the goods' being born again. Stop putting it off and trust Christ as your Savior and Lord now.

     2.    Others need to make the choice to pursue spiritual development and real progress. Stop faking divine advancements; refuse to be like the Pharisees any longer. Study the Word, apply God’s truth, use God-given discernment, and make decisions that reflect God’s rule in your life and ministry.

     3.  Yet others need to keep their eyes fixed on our risen, enthroned, interceding, and soon coming Great High Priest, Jesus Christ. He is your everything and He can meet your every need. Look unto him continually!