Strength to Overcome Poor Relationships

“The Strength to Overcome Poor Relationships”

                               Eph. 4:31-32; Phil 4:6-7, 11-12; Rom. 12:18                                                       

SUBJECT: GOD’S STRENGTH IN FRUSTRATIONS

THEME: You Can Overcome the Frustrations by the Wisdom and Strength of the Lord.  

RELEVANCE: Why is this important to us? We need to understand the source of our frustrations is Satan (these are spiritual battles) and trust the Lord to help us overcome these hindrances. When dealing with the frustrations of poor relationships, God provides guidance on managing conflict, setting boundaries, and guarding your heart against bitterness.

INTRODUCTION:

After multiple attempts ...is it time to give up on a person or relationship you once cherished? It may be shocking to many, but even the Lord Jesus recognize that divisions or separations were certain for his committed followers (Matt. 10:34-42; Luke 18:28-30). So, relationships might be frustrated for the Kingdom of God sake. 

MESSAGE:

FRUSTRATIONS COULD BE ROOTED IN POOR RELATIONSHIPS.

While a pervasive and long-standing feeling of frustration is nearly always something that resides within a person, there are also times when it is natural to feel frustration on a short-term basis. God seeks to comfort us in such frustrating times.

Psalm 34:17-19, The righteous cry, and the LORD heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles. The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.

Isaiah 41:10, Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

Romans 8:28, And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

God promises and reassures us believers when facing hardship or uncertainty that He will comfort, support, and actively provide strength, help, and security for us. Such passages afford some ease as we work through our frustrations.  

Generally, frustrations in relationships often stem from unmet expectations, poor communication, and unhealed attachment wounds. When these needs are not addressed, underlying feelings of being unheard or unappreciated can manifest as recurring arguments, emotional withdrawal, or lingering resentment. Perhaps it would be helpful to ask ourselves a few questions….

1. WHAT LIES AT THE ROOT OF MY FRUSTRATIONS?

Uncovering the root causes is a great place to start when tackling these challenges. Understanding the exact source of tension is the first step toward resolving it. Common triggers of frustration:

1.     Sometimes there are Unspoken Needs and Expectations. Disappointment frequently takes root when an expected behavior or level of support is not realized, but never explicitly communicated. 

2.     Perhaps You’ve used Destructive Communication Patterns. Research has identified four highly destructive behaviors that cause relationship breakdown: criticism, defensiveness, contempt (such as eye-rolling or mocking), and stonewalling.

3.     Maybe there are Unhealed Suffering and Attachment Wounds (Anxious-Avoidant Trap, People-Pleasing, and Hypervigilance). Individuals with a history of insecure attachment or unresolved past trauma often perceive a partner’s words through a distorted filter, interpreting communication as an attack or a reason to shut down. (Source Unknown)

B.  WHAT ARE WE TO DO WITH FRUSTRATING RELATIONSHIPS?

The Bible provides profound wisdom for dealing with the frustrations of poor relationships, offering guidance on managing conflict, setting boundaries, and guarding your heart against bitterness.

1. Prioritize Managing Frustrations Related to Anger—Master Yourself

James 1:19-20, Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.

Proverbs 15:1, A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

When tensions are high, responding with gentle kindness rather than reactive anger de-escalates the situation. 

2. Set Healthy Boundaries Regarding Toxic Relationships

Proverbs 22:24-25, Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul.

1 Corinthians 15:33, Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.

Setting healthy, Bible-based boundaries is about stewardship, not selfishness. Scriptural boundaries protect your heart and help you love others without enabling sin. Using the King James Version (KJV), you can establish limits by guarding your inner peace, practicing honest communication, and following the example of Jesus. (From Gospel Coalition)

·        Proverbs 4:23, Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. Taking space from toxicity or sin is not selfish; it is guarding the life God entrusted to you—stewardship.

·        Philippians 4:8 requires us to focus our thoughts on what is true and pure. You are allowed to set boundaries on the information and negative conversations you allow into your mind.

·        Galatians 6:5, For every man shall bear his own burden. While you should help others in a crisis (Galatians 6:2), boundaries mean letting others carry the weight of their own daily responsibilities and consequences. 

3. Go Deeper in Your Ability to Forgive, Release Resentment, and Let Go of any Changes God Alone Must Make. Ephesians 4:32, And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

Proverbs 19:11, The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.

You are responsible for your own actions, reactions, and the pursuit of peace, even when others make it difficult. Letting go of bitterness and replacing it with forgiveness is foundational to future progress in the Lord. 

4. Overcome Conflicts Patiently with Emotional Control and Refuse to Retaliate.

Ephesians 4:31-32, Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

When frustrations arise in relationships, God provides wisdom to help navigate them. Ephesians 4:31-32 emphasize overcoming conflict through patience, forgiveness, and gentle communication rather than returning insult for insult.

Romans 12:19, Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

Romans 12:21, Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.

1 Peter 2:23, Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously.

Believers are instructed to leave justice to God rather than taking matters into their own hands.

C.  HOW CAN WE FIND REAL INNER CONTENTMENT?

The Bible teaches that we can experience a continual feeling of inner contentment regardless of our outward circumstances. Beloved, it is futile and unfair to look to mere people to supply what only God can! Look to the Lord instead. The apostle Paul was sitting in a Roman prison, facing all kinds of persecution and ridicule from others, when he wrote,

Philip. 4:11-12, Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. [12] I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.

Notice that Paul says he “learned” contentment. This holy skill does not develop naturally; it's a spiritual discipline built through experience. This is the secret to his spiritual resilience!

   1.  By Focusing on the Sovereignty of God Rather than on the Will of People.

   2.  By Praising and Thanking God Rather than Criticizing Others.

   3.  By Putting Trust in God to Deal with the Future Rather than Continually Looking at the Past.

   4.  By Trusting in God to Make All Things Right Rather than Distrusting Human Ability.

It was when Paul turned his attention to Christ and away from his circumstances and detractors that he received such strength. His contentment did not rest in a denial of the outside world or the facts related to his situation. His contentment flowed from his trust in Christ Jesus for now and forever.

Whether your inner restlessness comes from unresolved issues in your past, is related to people or situations over which you have no control, or is a God-given restlessness intended to draw you deeper into the Lord's will, the answer to frustration comes as you trust God.

D. HOW MAY WE EXPERIENCE GOD-GIVEN PEACE?

John 14:27, Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

Philip. 4:6-7, Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. [7] And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Beloved, this “peace of God” …this profound, divine calmness that comes directly from God, rather than from comfortable circumstances or human efforts belongs to us when we meet God’s conditions of righteousness and prayerfulness. Also “keep” means to ‘guard’ or ‘protect’. It pictures peace acting like a sentry or guard, standing watch over our emotions and thoughts so that fear and worry cannot take over. This is God’s promise to the sincere believer.

Seek God’s Peace Regularly in Relationships where Possible.

Romans 12:18, If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

Child of God, actively pursue peace and harmony with everyone, but realistically acknowledges that reconciliation requires cooperation and that believers should never compromise God’s truth to avoid conflict.

We must acknowledge a fundamental reality: it takes two people to maintain a peaceful relationship. God does not guarantee that everyone will like us or that conflict will never happen. God does require us to be willing to resolve disputes and maintain a peaceful spirit whenever the other person is also willing to cooperate.

The responsibility to create peace rests heavily on your actions and attitudes. You are called to control your own temper, forgive offenses, let go of pride, and avoid being the instigator of drama or division. Your goal should be to ensure that if a relationship breaks down, the fault does not lie with your behavior or unwillingness to reconcile. (From Got Questions)

This basic attitude applies to everyone—not just fellow Believers, but also strangers, difficult people, human enemies, and even those opposed to Christ! Brother this requires real courage! But always remember, pursuing peace does not mean sacrificing moral, ethical, or biblical principles just to avoid an argument. Sometimes you must agree to disagree; but there is zero permission to behave carnally!

God Understands

 A young grocery chain executive parked his car on the edge of a treacherous two-hundred-foot cliff at the edge of the Pacific Ocean some twenty-five miles south of San Francisco. Devil’s Slide, it was called, and to Bill Mansdoerfer it seemed an appropriate place to plan suicide.

 The next morning alone in his home, burdened with sin and guilt, the desire to take his life gripped him again. In the midst of writing a suicide note, on impulse, he went to the hi-fi and turned it on. It was turned to KEAR.

 What happened next has been described by doubters as a mere coincidence but to Bill Mansdoerfer it is looked upon as a miracle, a divine appointment. From the radio he heard:

God understands your heartache,

He knows the bitter pain;

O, trust Him in the darkness

You cannot trust in vain.

God understands your sorrow,

He sees the falling tear,

And whisper, “I am with thee,”

Then falter not nor fear.

 The song was being sung by Flo Price and it was written by Dr. Oswald J. Smith.

 Comments Bill, “If that had been a preacher, I would have turned him off, but that song … it broke me.”

 Bill telephoned KEAR’s Station Manager. Without any preliminaries, he blurted out, “Thank God, your station is on the air. You just saved my life.”

 That broadcast and phone call resulted in more than that. During the next six months, the station kept in touch with Bill, and finally offered him a job as Public Relations Director. Today he not only is the Station Manager of KEAR, but as Director of Communications and Operations, he is a vital part of the six-station family radio network.” —People’s Magazine

Child of God, when ONLY God understands…you can know the rest of the saved will eventually know also…perhaps even when we are finally in eternity. If His ‘knowing’ is all we have then that is enough for us for now. Reasonable explanations may seem logical to you, but not necessarily to someone focused on questioning your sincerity. Sometimes …a ‘peaceful’ break is inevitable. The Lord can be trusted to give us the strength we need when the relationship fails to met God's reasonable requirements. 

 

“Smart” Money Matters

“Smart” Money Matters

 

The Bible addresses the subject of money and possessions around 2,300 times with verses portraying financial management as a matter of stewardship rather than ownership—smart management of the Lord’s assets. I am not a fan of ‘name it and claim it’ theology because its roots do not respect the Bible’s teachings. So, the following thoughts are practical realities I have witnessed, and the scriptures obviously convey to us.

Our focus needs to be on God-given wisdom in the form of long-term stewardship to avoid the modern emphasis on get-rich-quick schemes. People fall for these modern tricks basically because we are greedy for financial gain. Yes, real wisdom is essentially practical and not merely theoretical and certainly not designed to feed our greed. God advocates building wealth gradually through diligent labor, avoiding reckless debt, and prioritizing practical wisdom over pure financial increases. These timeless principles emphasize enduring money management, generosity, and financial discipline over ridiculously ‘quick’ money, convenient ‘easy’ payment plans and living from ‘paycheck to paycheck.’

We will only consider actionable “smart money” maneuvers for wealth management for God’s glory:

1. Choose Hard Work over Quick Riches Schemes

The Bible glorifies hard work and fair wages, warning against an “entitlement mindset” or acquiring wealth dishonestly.

• Proverbs 13:11, Wealth gotten by vanity shall be diminished: but he that gathereth by labour shall increase. God highlights the multiplied dangers of get-rich-quick schemes and certain ‘advantages,’ contrasting them with the slow, steady growth of patient labor.
• Wealth gained by dishonesty comes in haste or without exertion. This would include the money won by gambling, sweepstakes, or stock market speculation. This kind of wealth has a way of leaking out of a man’s hands. Wealth gained by honest labor accumulates instead of dwindling.^[1]
• Proverbs 10:4, He becometh poor that dealeth with a slack hand: but the hand of the diligent maketh rich.

·        Proverbs 14:23, In all labour there is profit: but the talk of the lips tendeth only to penury.

Proverbs heavily condemn get-rich-quick schemes and overnight windfalls, advocating instead for slow, steady accumulation—compounding interest. Slow and steady wealth creation relies on the power of compounding and consistent, disciplined habits over decades rather than high-risk “get-rich-quick” schemes. This long-term strategy focuses on automating your finances, investing in diversified funds, and avoiding the trap of lifestyle creep.

• The attitude: Dishonest money gains will dwindle away, but income saving and gathering money little by little will compound and grow. (see Proverbs 13:11)
• The action: Focus on patient, intelligent effort and consistent savings rather than financial windfalls. “Money can grow by being accumulated honestly little by little.”^[2]

2. Employ Saving Strategies and Plan for the Future

Proverbs advise storing up resources for future needs and emergencies rather than spending everything immediately. God discourages hasty, impulsive expenditures and encourages calculating costs beforehand, living within our means, and saving to meet anticipated requirements.

• Proverbs 21:20, There is treasure to be desired and oil in the dwelling of the wise; but a foolish man spendeth it up. Smart money involves planning for the future, planning expenditures—budgeting, building reserves, and resisting the urge to spend everything immediately.
• The contrast here is between the cottage of the wise man where there is a plentiful supply of all good things, and the home of a foolish man where sin, waste, and extravagance lead to scarcity.
• We are reminded of the alcoholic who used to sell his furniture and other household goods in order to buy whiskey. After his conversion to Christ, someone said to him, “You don’t really believe that stuff about Jesus’ turning water into wine, do you?” His answer was, “I don’t know about turning water into wine, but I know that in my house He turned whiskey into furniture!”^[3]

·        Proverbs 23:4-5, Labour not to be rich: cease from thine own wisdom. Wilt thou set thine eyes upon that which is not? for riches certainly make themselves wings; they fly away as an eagle toward heaven. God advises against exhausting oneself in the pursuit of wealth, noting that sudden riches can vanish quickly.

Financial preparation and foresight are frequently praised in God’s word, comparing prudent financial habits to the instinctive preparation of an ant (Prov. 6:6-8). Such instincts move the ant to hardwired behaviors of survival, maintenance, and future planning without central leadership.

• The attitude: healthy saving strategies are employed habitually, and hasty waste is routinely avoided. (see Proverbs 21:20)
• The action: Save a portion of your income for investing instead of immediately consuming every resource you acquire.

Planning and ‘diversification’ are expressed in Ecclesiastes 11:2 which advises spreading our resources, much like modern variation strategies, to protect against unforeseen disasters and unpredictable future hardships. Also invest a fixed dollar amount on a regular schedule (like every month), regardless of market fluctuations. This allows you to buy more shares when prices are low and fewer when they are high.

3. Select Honesty and Integrity over Debt Bondage

‘Avoid debt’ is God’s counsel in Proverbs 22:7. Warning us that the borrower is slave to the lender, discouraging the accumulation of burdensome debt.

• Proverbs 22:7, The rich ruleth over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender. The Bible recognizes debt as a form of financial bondage and encourages us believers to live within our means.
• Money is power, and it can be used for good or for evil. Too often the rich use it for evil, and perhaps that is why it is called the mammon of unrighteousness.
• The borrower is a slave to the lender. Debt is a form of bondage. It requires the payment of exorbitant interest rates. It keeps a man’s nose to the grindstone. It limits his mobility and his ability to take advantage of opportunities.^[4]
• Proverbs 11:1, A false balance is abomination to the LORD: but a just weight is his delight. Business and financial dealings must remain honest and completely free of deception. It is vital we keep our priorities on the Lord! Again, deceptive business practices, involving rigged measurements and exploiting unsuspecting buyers highlights God’s hatred of cheating and taking advantage of others for personal gain.

These are stark warnings against the loss of financial freedom that comes with borrowing and manipulation. Greed is often at the root of deceptive ploys and tactics.

• The attitude: Recognize the affluent reigns over the broke, and the borrower is a financial slave to the creditor. (see Proverbs 22:7)
• The action: Live strictly within your means and avoid unnecessary debt to maintain control over your financial life—avoid using credit or credit cards to extend your income.

4. Cultivate Generosity and Contentment as Guiding Principles

As believers we want to remain cognizant that everything belongs to our Creator-God as the central concept. He owns all things, and believers are simply managers of His resources.

Contentment then involving the pursuit of riches is discouraged (Heb. 13:5); instead, scripture promotes contentment and trusting God for security rather than money (Matt. 6:24; Luke 12:15; 1 Tim. 6:10). While being wealthy is not a problem, depending on our wealth as a means of security is! Materialism is not the answer, dependence on God is.  

Proverbs 11:25, The liberal soul shall be made fat: and he that watereth shall be watered also himself.

God tells us that wealth is a blessing meant to be shared, which often leads to deeper contentment and further blessing.

• The attitude: A generous person will prosper in the Lord; when we have given to refresh others, we will be compensated accordingly as needed. (see Proverbs 11:25)
• The action: Practice regular giving to break the blinding power of money and keep a healthy perspective on wealth. This is exemplary living that may include financial sacrifices to the Lord at times (2Cor. 8:1-5).

Believers are urged to give cheerfully and support the poor, the church’s ministers, missions, and other churches (2Cor. 8:6-24; 9:6-15).

5. Prioritize Godly Wisdom over Amassing Material Wealth

• Proverbs 16:16, How much better is it to get wisdom than gold! and to get understanding rather to be chosen than silver. The foundational premise of biblical money management is that the pursuit of wisdom, integrity, and a “good name” yields much higher returns than plain money could ever secure.
• Fearing God is necessary because His sovereign presence hovers over all of life to determine the success or failure of human plans and programs. Fearing God is meaningful because those who do so can count on His care in any circumstance they meet. “The Lord’s eyes” is a shorthand way to express the dependability of His presence and the versatility of His care. That presence and that care, according to our catalog of the proverbs, find Yahweh at work…. ^[5]

While we acknowledge that hard work and smart money management naturally lead to material prosperity, we are warned against making mere wealth our primary focus.  

• The attitude: It is more beneficial to get God’s wisdom than the finest gold, to have God’s perspective rather than mere earthly treasures! (see Proverbs 16:16)
• The action: Do not wear yourself out to become rich; know when to practice restraint. Seek God’s guidance daily, practice regular generosity, and view money as a temporary tool to honor Him, rather than the ultimate goal of life.

Ecclesiastes 5:10; Proverbs 11:28 and Proverbs 28:20, also teach those who “love money” will never have enough; those who trust in their riches will fall, and those eager to get rich will not go scot-free. These guidelines are still relevant though nearly forgotten in this get-rich-quick, social media driven, fast credit, debt driven culture. Yes, God speaks to these subjects on wealth, possessions, and giving. We must not view ‘money’ as a naturally wicked topic; scripture treats it as a compelling, morally neutral compass that reveals our heart’s priorities and acts as a spiritual discipline. Many college bills, new cars, credit card debts, and social media influencers would disappear if we gave God’s wisdom even a little serious attention.

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^[1] William MacDonald, Believer’s Bible Commentary: Old and New Testaments, ed. Arthur Farstad (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1995), 823.

^[2] Sid S. Buzzell, “Proverbs,” in The Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures, ed. J. F. Walvoord and R. B. Zuck, vol. 1 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1985), 933.

^[3] William MacDonald, Believer’s Bible Commentary: Old and New Testaments, ed. Arthur Farstad (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1995), 846.

^[4] William MacDonald, Believer’s Bible Commentary: Old and New Testaments, ed. Arthur Farstad (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1995), 848.

^[5] David A. Hubbard and Lloyd J. Ogilvie, Proverbs, vol. 15, The Preacher’s Commentary Series (Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson Inc, 1989), 236.

Am I a Wise Man?

Am I a Wise Man?

Proverbs 1:7

Once more we see God’s value system is different from the average person’s. He describes “wisdom” not as mere human intelligence or being brainy like we do, but as respecting Him first and paying attention to the profitable counsel from His Word. So, a ‘wise man’ leads a lifestyle of moral integrity or honesty, humility, and agreement/obedience to God.

Regarding biblical wisdom, “fear” again is not referring to being terrified of punishment. Instead, this is a deep, reverent awe and healthy respect for God. It includes recognizing that He is the Creator, the ultimate authority, and the judge of all that is right. By starting here, we acknowledge our own limitations and align ourselves with the fundamental moral order of God.

The essence of true knowledge is fearing God. Apart from Him a person is ignorant of spiritual things (Rom. 1:22; Eph. 4:18; 1 Peter 1:14).^[1]

If you wonder if you are ‘wise’, God offer clear statements to help us reflect on. These primary verses provide specific ways to measure our wisdom.

What Can I Learn from the Book of Proverbs?

God views a wise man as someone who pursues humility, seeks counsel, and reveres Him. He is characterized by emotional control, diligence, careful speech, and a lifelong desire to learn.

Basic qualities of a wise man in Proverbs include:

1.     His Foundation is in God: The Bible states, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge" (Proverbs 1:7). A wise man trusts in God rather than relying solely on his own understanding.

If a man wants to be wise, the place to begin is in reverencing God and in trusting and obeying Him. What is more reasonable than that the creature should trust his Creator? On the other hand, what is more illogical than for a man to reject God’s Word and to live by his own hunches? The wise thing to do is to repent of one’s sins, trust Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, and then live for Him wholeheartedly and devotedly.^[2]

• The Character Statement: “Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.” (James 3:13)
• The Worldly Wisdom Evaluation: “Let no man deceive himself. If any man among you seemeth to be wise in this world, let him become a fool, that he may be wise.” (1 Corinthians 3:18)

True wisdom is fundamentally rooted in the “fear of the LORD” (a deep reverence and respect for God) and applying His lessons to everyday experiences.

2. He Listens to Counsel with a Desire to Learn: A wise man is teachable, actively increasing his learning and seeking guidance, whereas a fool despises instruction and thinks he needs no advice.
• The Teachability Examination: “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.” (Proverbs 12:15)
• The Humility Acid Test: “Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord, and depart from evil.” (Proverbs 3:7)

Unlike a fool who thinks he is always right, a wise man listens to advice, accepts correction, and learns from his mistakes.

3.    He Controls His Temper: Rather than being reckless or quick-tempered, he stays calm, restrains his anger, and overlooks insults.

o   God very directly says control your temper in Proverbs 16:32: “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.”

• James 1:19: Advises being "swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath".

o   Ephesians 4:26: Advises dealing with anger immediately rather than letting it fester.

In this better … than proverb (see comments on 12:9) having patience and a controlled temper is honored above being a soldier. In a land where safety depended on might and skill in warfare, this statement may seem surprising. Yet conquering oneself (cf. 14:17, 29; 25:28; 29:11) is of greater virtue than conquering a city.^[3]

4. He Uses Restrained and Helpful Speech: A truly wise person speaks carefully and uses few words. His words are known to bring healing rather than acting rashly like a sword.
• The Speech Appraisal: “In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise.” (Proverbs 10:19)
• Proverbs 29:11, 14:29, & 15:1: Focus on wisdom over folly, urging a calm spirit and using soft words to calm conflicts.
• Proverbs 25:28: Compares lack of self-control to a broken-down city.

The more we talk, the greater is the probability of saying something wrong. Compulsive talkers should beware! The lust for incessant conversation often leads to exaggeration, breaking of confidences, and associated sins. Trying to top someone else’s joke often mushrooms into off-color stories.

The man who exercises self-control in his speech is wise. He saves himself from embarrassment, apologies, and outright sin.

10:20 What a good man says is a reflection of what he is. Because his character is sterling, so is his speech. Since the heart (or mind) of the wicked man is not worthwhile, neither is the conversation that flows from it.^[4]

A wise person restrains their speech, avoiding gossip, anger, and hasty words in favor of gracious and truthful communication.

5.   He is a Diligent and Productive Worker:

God provides strong motivation for a productive work ethic, urging believers to work with diligence and integrity as an act of service to Him. God highlights the importance of hard work, offering wisdom for both daily tasks and career focus.

o   Proverbs 14:23: Emphasizes that hard work brings profit, while idle talk brings poverty.

o   Proverbs 22:29: Notes that diligent workers gain recognition and distinction.

o   Proverbs 13:4: Highlights how the diligent will be fulfilled, while the lazy will lack.

o   Proverbs 10:4: Connects a diligent hand with prosperity.

God heartily endorses excellence, purpose, diligence, reward, skill, and integrity for employers and employees. Colossians 3:23, encourages working heartily for the Lord rather than men. Ecclesiastes 9:10, instructs doing all tasks with your full strength. 1 Corinthians 10:31, advises doing everything for the glory of God.

6.    He Looks Ahead with Discretion: He exercises discretion and caution, anticipating danger and turning away from evil, while a fool is reckless and arrogant. ‘Discretion’ is the ability to use godly wisdom to protect yourself from harm, avoid foolish mistakes, and respond calmly to others.

o   Proverbs 2:11, “Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee:” This verse highlights that exercising good judgment acts as a guardrail against dangerous paths.

o   Proverbs 19:11, “The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to overlook a transgression.” Self-control and knowing when to let something go reflect true character.

o   Psalm 112:5, “A good man sheweth favour, and lendeth: he will guide his affairs with discretion.” In daily matters the righteous manage their responsibilities wisely.

Wisdom brings discernment. A wise man is vigilant, avoids dangerous paths, and flees from temptation.

7.    He Keeps Good Company: Whoever walks with wise men becomes wise, much like iron sharpens iron.

o   Proverbs 13:20, “He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.” Those with whom you surround yourself will shape your own character and future. Walking with the wise leads to wisdom, while associating with fools (the biblically unwise or rebellious) leads to ruin.

o   1 Corinthians 15:33, “Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.” God warning us against being misled. Spending time with negative influences, unwholesome speech, or those who disregard God’s values will ultimately ruin your own good character and habits.

One way to become wise is to associate with wise people, including companions and teachers. Conversely to associate with fools brings problems.^[5]

What Can I Learn from the Lord Jesus?

1.     The chief quality of a “wise man” is obedience to God through adherence to his word.

2.    Jesus illustrates this concept on a real-world level referring to the wise and foolish builders (Matthew 7:24-27).

3.    Jesus showed:

·        The Wise Man: Represents anyone who hears Jesus' teachings and puts them into practice. Because their life is built on a solid foundation of obedience, they can withstand the storms and trials of life.

·        The Foolish Man: Hears the teachings of Christ but ignores them. When life gets difficult, their house (life) collapses because it lacks the strong foundation of adherence.

In conclusion Jesus presented the two options open to His listeners. They were now responsible for what they had heard and must make a choice. They could build on one of two foundations. One foundation was likened to a big rock and the other to sand. The foundation determines the ability of a structure to withstand the elements (rain and winds). The rock foundation represented the Lord Himself and the truths He had been presenting, especially the truth concerning inner transformation. The sand spoke of Pharisaic righteousness which the people knew and on which many were basing their hopes. In storms the first would give stability; the second would result in destruction. Thus hearing and heeding Jesus’ words is wise; one who does not is foolish. Only two courses of action are possible—two kinds of roads and gates (Matt. 7:13–14), two kinds of trees and fruit (vv. 15–20), two kinds of foundations and builders (vv. 24–27).^[6]

Conclusion:

It is wise to walk in King Solomon’s wisdom. Clearly, King Solomon is widely regarded as the wisest man ever. When God offered him anything he desired, Solomon asked for wisdom to govern God’s people well (1 Kings 3). Such wisdom became legendary. However, the Bible also teaches that even Solomon’s adherence faltered later in life when he strayed from God’s guidelines—reminding us that godly wisdom requires lifelong, active faithfulness and continuous application. So, where are you concerning God’s wisdom?

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^[1] Sid S. Buzzell, “Proverbs,” in The Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures, ed. J. F. Walvoord and R. B. Zuck, vol. 1 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1985), 908.

^[2] William MacDonald, Believer’s Bible Commentary: Old and New Testaments, ed. Arthur Farstad (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1995), 792.

^[3] Sid S. Buzzell, “Proverbs,” in The Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures, ed. J. F. Walvoord and R. B. Zuck, vol. 1 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1985), 942.

^[4] William MacDonald, Believer’s Bible Commentary: Old and New Testaments, ed. Arthur Farstad (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1995), 815.

^[5] Sid S. Buzzell, “Proverbs,” in The Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures, ed. J. F. Walvoord and R. B. Zuck, vol. 1 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1985), 934.

^[6] Louis A. Barbieri Jr., “Matthew,” in The Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures, ed. J. F. Walvoord and R. B. Zuck, vol. 2 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1985), 34–36.