Plagues of Marriage

 

GENESIS 2:18-25

SUBJECT: THE FOUNDATION OF MARRIAGE

THEME: We must Return to the Lord’s Plan and Design for the Help of Our Marriages and the Preservation of Our Culture.  God’s Plan Is over 6, 000 Years Old, but it Still Holds out the Light of Hope and Fulfillment in this Age Darkened by Family Confusion and Social Corrosion. 

RELEVANCE: 

Is There Any Hope for the Institution of "Marriage"?  Some experts are saying that marriage as we now know it is on the way out. As divorce rates continue to climb, or at least stay at incredibly high levels, many people, in and out of the church, are growing doubtful about marriage. Even for seemingly "perfectly matched" couples, marriage has become more of a risk and curse instead of a blessing (H. N. Wright).

INTRODUCTION:

What is Marriage? Marriage is an exclusive relationship in which a man and a woman commit themselves to each other in covenant for life, and on the basis of this solemn vow become “one flesh” physically (Gen. 2:24; Mal. 2:14; Matt. 19:4-6). Christian Marriage involves two Christians, a Covenant of Commitment to each other, physical consummation of the union, and commitment to God’s plan for marriage. Marriage is a gift from God, and it was not just for convenience, nor was it brought about by any culture. It is wonderfully the Creator’s idea and He gave instructions to His creatures regarding it administration.

Many of the problems couples face in marriage persist because of ignorance, lack of diligence, or a failure to adhere to these basic spiritual principles of marriage. There are five major changes taking place in the institution of marriage today:

         ·       A decline in understanding between marriage partners.

         ·       Acceptance of the new morality, which is replacing Judeo-Christian values.

         ·       The spread of secular humanistic philosophy, which rivals Christian truth. 

         ·       The loss of determination to stay married.

         ·       The development of unrealistic marriage expectations.

LESSON:

FIVE CHANGES PLAGUING MARRIAGES.

A.    Decline of Understanding and Lack of Communication Go Together. Many couples today lack the kind of communication skills that produce the understanding necessary for a marriage to grow strong, or even exist.

       1.     Learn to Talk to Achieve Understanding. Understanding in a marriage doesn't mean that there are no differences. It does mean that you and your mate are able to talk about the differences and come to an understanding of each other's views. Mutual submission enables a couple to practice this form of communication (Eph. 5:21; 1Pet. 5:5). You are able to accept the fact that your partner was raised in a different fashion and because of that will react differently than you. Just because something was done in a certain manner in your home when you were growing up does not mean that it has to be done that same way in your new home.

       2.     Learn to Talk To Adjust to Each Other.

a.      Two people who love one another but are unable to understand each other suffer pain—a continual biting pain in their relationship. Understanding may not come easily, but a willingness to share views, to see the "other side of the question," to talk things out can help a husband and wife adjust and adapt to their honest differences of opinion.

b.     ILLUSTRATION:  Someone has likened this adjustment to two porcupines who lived in Alaska. When the deep and heavy snows came they felt the cold and began to draw close together. However, when they drew close they began to stick one another with their quills. When they drew apart they felt the cold once again. In order to keep warm they had to learn how to adjust to one another.

B.     Acceptance of the New Morality, which is Replacing Judeo-Christian Values. 

        1.     Moral refers to ideas of right and wrong behavior along with good and bad motives.  The ‘old morality’ was based on the Bible and the Ten Commandments. However, the new morality rejects this absolute standard for relativism, situation ethics, and whatever makes you happy. Remember, Paul warned Timothy of the perils of deceivers and false doctrines and dangerous philosophies (2Tim. 3:1, 6-9, 13; Col. 2:8).

        2.     I believe the “new morality” is negatively affecting the American family. In fact, this supposed “new morality” has led to a serious breakdown in traditional Judeo-Christian morality.  People are rejecting the Bible-based standards of moral behavior and wholly embracing the culture-based standards.

        3.     Because the culture-based standard of morality relaxes sensual prohibitions and eliminates sexual taboos, society is now suffering the consequences. In fact this ethical shift has resulted in a tremendous increase in sexually transmitted diseases (STD), illegitimate births, and abortions.  No-fault divorces create millions of single-parent families that have inherent difficulties.  Single mothers entered the workforce by the millions and latchkey kids have become a national concern.  Homosexual behavior, palimony, family violence, date rape, pornography, sexual harassment, drugs and alcohol addictions, alternative family lifestyles are some of the additional problems resulting from the disintegration of traditional morality.

C.    The Spread of Secular Humanistic Philosophy, which Rivals Christian Truth. 

         1.     What is secular humanism.  A good working definition of secular humanism can be found in Webster’s Dictionary, “a system of doctrines and practices that reject any form of religious faith and worship.” 

a.      The term secular humanists has been used to identify those who would remove religious influence from the institutions of American society—government, courts, education, economics, and media.

b.     In addition others describe humanists thusly, “In their self-definition God does not exist, and it is a destructive illusion to believe in him.  They promote a way of life that systematically excludes God and all religion in the traditional sense.”

c.      It is “an anti-Christian system of thought that influences every decision and most of a person’s actions.  It is anti-God, anti-moral, anti-self restraint, and anti-American.”—Tim LaHaye

          2.     We must not confuse humanism for humanitarianism.  It is interesting to note that humanist masquerade as humanitarians, but their belief is actually anti-human and they are the number one enemy of the traditional family.

a.      A true humanitarian will promote human welfare and social reform, but secular humanism inspires destructive relativistic value systems.  They firmly reject monogamous marriage as instituted by God. They fervently encourage easy divorces, remarriage, serial polygamy, rejection of biblical authority, situation ethics, hedonism, and extremes forms of women’s liberation, legalizing abortion, and the elimination of marriage.  This is a literal portrayal of life in the last days as Paul described it (2Tim. 3:1-5).  People are lovers of themselves and lovers of pleasure!

b.     There are four basic convictions that distinguish secular humanism from Christian humanism, “confidence in God and Christ; supernatural world-view; the power of Christ acting through the church; and incarnational humanitarianism.” 

c.      Francis Schaeffer insisted that the conflict is between the Judeo-Christian view of God with absolute values of right and wrong and a humanistic system “with only personal, arbitrary, relative values.”  The current conflict between Christianity and humanism is the age-old struggle between God and Satan, right and wrong, darkness verses light, sin against righteousness.

d.     God is the ultimate Final Reality.  He is the infinite personal God who is truly there.  To the God of the Bible things are not neutral.  There are definitely absolutes; there is right and wrong in the world.  He authored the Ten Commandments!

            3.     Since secular Humanists control the media, it would be helpful to beware of their impact.  Has television viewing had a negative influence on the American family?  How does it contribute to the violence in American culture? The impact of television on the American family is a net negative.  Since television programming is largely influenced by secular humanism, it is a moral descent from filth, smut, and innuendo to depravity.  

a.      It is their aim to destroy the country’s moral fiber and with it the traditional family.  They manipulate this communication tool to control the way people think and over exposure to secular input is “dangerous.” 

b.     Many parents use the television as a babysitting method, but this exposes the children to sex, profanity, and violence.  This is one of the leading causes of aggressive behavior in preschool children according to the National Institute of Mental Health.  In addition the violence viewed on television is being carried out in the homes, schools, and streets of the nation.  Generally, young people are desensitized to violence; this is presently a cultural reality in America.

D.    A Lack of Determination to Stay Married Is Seen Today on Every Hand.

         1.     Quitting Marriage is Alarmingly Common and Pervasive. To have had more than one husband or wife is not considered at all unusual.  As one woman filled out an application for a new job, she came to the question, "Married or Single?" Her answer: "Between marriages."

         2.     Impatience is a Massive Character Flaw Among Modern Couples. Many enter marriage with the attitude that if they do not get along they can break the relationship and try again. Many people are too impatient with their marriages. They do not want to live "happily ever after." They want to live "happily right away" and when this does not happen, they bail out. A grand helping of ‘patience’ would do the average marriage a lot of good and help the couple endure to finally experience fulfillment God’s way (Js. 1:2-7; 5:7-11; Rom. 5:1-5).

E.     Too Many Young Couples Enter Marriage Blinded by Unrealistic Expectations.

         1.     Young Couples Want Romance All the Time. They believe the relationship should be characterized by a high level of continuous romantic love. As one young adult said: "I wanted marriage to fulfill all my desires. I needed security, someone to take care of me, intellectual stimulation, economic security immediately—but it just wasn't like that!"

         2.     Young Couples Want a Cinderella “Magic.” People are looking for something "magical" to happen in marriage.  But magic doesn't make a marriage work: hard work does. When there are positive results in a relationship, it is because of two people working together one step at a time.

         3.     Married Couples Need to Return to God’s Enduring Plan for Marriage. This brings us back to the potential of hope, fulfillment, and happiness.  What then is a Christian marriage?

F.     Why should we be concerned about changes in the family? Every one of us should be concerned about changes in the family because the family does not exist in a vacuum.  It is interrelated with four other basic institutions of society: religious, economic, governmental, and educational institutions.  Changes in the family will dramatically affect the others.

CONCLUSION:

The problem is not the institution of marriage, but our view of Marriage and Family have greatly departed from God’s original plan. Our generation is actually watching the death of marriage from a biblical and traditional perspective.  But, God’s Enduring Plan for Married Life still shines like a beacon of hope to every couple and single alike. The preservation of the institution of Marriage can only be realized in our culture as we submit to God’s enduring plan.  It’s time for Christian marriages and families to demonstrate a way of living that is rewarding, meaningful, and fulfilling. God’s Plan for couples should be evident to the world as it looks at Christian marriages and families.  As we realize God’s plan in our lives we supply hope to the many others who need direction, counsel, and hope.