Prayer is Conversational

“Conversing With God”

Dan. 9:1-23

THEME: Regularly Engage in Two-Way Communication With the Lord in order to Build an Ever Deepening Fellowship With Him.

RELEVANCE:

The Scriptures are the supreme source of insight on prayer and talking with God. It is the source from which we receive new insights and eternal wisdom regarding our prayer ministry. God is a Divine Person and we must never forget he offers us a personal relationship to enjoy and maintain.  Intimate associations grow, prosper, and are strengthened through wholesome self-disclosing communication—prayer.  Victory or defeat is decided in your Christian life on the battleground of your daily walk with the Lord.

INTRODUCTION:

Communication is a two-way process. Simply sending a message is not communication. Communication requires that two parties respond to each other. Each party gives and receives messages and, in turn, provides feedback. In other words:

            *A statement is made, and a specific response is provided.

            *A question is asked, and an answer is given.

            *Feelings are expressed, and feelings are perceived in return.

 True Communication with God Is Not Talking to God, but Talking with God. We do not communicate if we voice a petition to God, but do not wait for His answer. We do not communicate if we express our desires to God, but do not hear what His desires are for us. We do not communicate if we vent our anger, frustration, doubts, fears, or joys to God, but do not listen intently for His response.  Prayer is speaking to and listening to God. It is an active process involving two communicators: God and you. 

Daniel’s prayers illustrate and model two-way communication with God.   

 MESSAGE:  

I.               PRAYER IS TO BE CONVERSATIONAL (Dialogue) (Dan. 9:2-4, 17-23)

From time to time, God may give us a directive or speak a command to us from His Word. Indeed, God speaks when He wills to speak, and it is our responsibility to listen and obey. We can also voice to God our heartfelt cries of anguish, sorrow, pain, or give vent to our ecstatic joy. At these times we are talking to God or He is talking to us. This is expression, which is valuable, but it is not the most beneficial form of communication in a relationship.

Daniel’s experience is illustrative of wholesome dialogue between God and himself.   First the Bible reading and meditation and then Daniel’s prayer over what he learned from the Scriptures as he appeals to God for additional insight (9:2-4).  God spoke through the Word and Daniel spoke through prayer.  Then after a period of intense prayer, Daniel receives a response from God via angelic emissary—Gabriel.  Daniel is literally conversing—verbally exchanging—with God and God with him.  This is a conversation!

1. COMMUNICATION THAT BUILDS RELATIONSHIPS IS DIALOGUE. (TWO-WAY)

Daniel was offering himself and his prayers at the time of the evening offering (see Ps. 141:1–2), and the Angel Gabriel came to give him his answer (Dan. 9:19-21).

1.     Daniel’s Prayer Involved Answers from God.   

a.      Questions. Daniel was concerned about Jerusalem, the holy mountain (v. 20).

                                                              i.     Would the city be restored? Would the temple be rebuilt?

                                                            ii.     Would the nation ever be redeemed from sin and would righteousness ever dwell on the earth?—Wiersbe, Warren W.

                                                          iii.     It is good to bring our questions to God and to seek His answers.

b.     Answers. God’s answer for Daniel was prompt. Gabriel had all the answers for Daniel, and we know them as the famous prophecy of the “seventy weeks” (9:24-27).

                                                              i.     Is there more to prayer then the good feeling we get inside after we have prayed? Should we really expect answers from God? Can we count on God to come through when we are in a time crunch?

1.     God hears prayer. Prayer is not merely pouring out our souls to God. It is talking with a great God who hears, is attentive, and sympathizes with our challenges. “When the poor and needy seek water, and there is none, and their tongue faileth for thirst, I the Lord will hear them, I the God of Israel will not forsake them.  I will open rivers in high places, and fountains in the midst of the valley” (Isa 41:17-18a).

2.     God acts in response to prayer. Gabriel is sent by God, and Daniel receives new insight.  In spiritual matters, there is a real exertion of energy on God’s part in response to prayer. He is not a passive hearer of prayer. His answers are not mere echoes of sympathy. You know like, “There, there, I know how you feel.” No, God’s answers bring active and real assistance. “I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliever him, and honour him” (Ps 91:15).

3.     God answers prayer promptly. Daniel prays, “Defer not.” God does not carelessly delay. God’s answer is sent at the very “beginning” of the “supplication,” and Gabriel is “caused to fly swiftly” (9:21). God is too powerful to need to delay, and too merciful to be willing to delay.

                                                            ii.     If we do not receive the answers to our prayers quickly, it is not because God is slow, but because the timing of the blessing is one of the conditions for its usage. Still, the answer is dispatched immediately, and begins to unfold in God’s perfect timing. “Though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come” (Hab. 2:3).

c.      Conversation.  This is ‘prayer dialogue’—a two way conversation with God. 

                                                              i.     We can enjoy the equivalent of this when God speaks to us in prayer by reminding us of Scripture commands, encouragements, admonitions, and promises. 

                                                            ii.     Then there are those times when we wait before the Lord in a spirit of prayer and He speaks clear directives to our heart so that we know how to proceed and where to concentrate our energies and efforts.

d.     Influence.

                                                              i.     Such interaction with God is sure to influence our faith, fervor, commitment, loyalty, and usefulness to God.  It builds a more intimate fellowship with Jehovah!

                                                            ii.     Such interaction with God will certainly influence the world in which we live.

                                                          iii.     The man of prayer exerts a greater influence over national affairs than even crowned heads. “Prayer moves the hand that moves the world.” Daniel on his knees was a mightier man than Darius on his throne. Daniel was in the service of the King of kings; was admitted to the audience-chamber of the Most High; and received the announcements of the Divine will. Darius now mainly serves as a landmark on the course of time to indicate a date; Daniel is still the teacher and moulder of men.—The Pulpit Commentary; The Omnipotence Of Prayer

2.     Daniel’s Prayer Involved Meaningful Conversation.

Not merely talking at each other, but with each other! But, what makes prayer meaningful? How can we have a meaningful conversation with God?

a.      Sit Down for a Good Talk.  Isaiah 1:18, Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.  Genuine prayer has all of the qualities and characteristics of a deeply meaningful conversation between two people. God said to the prophet Isaiah, “Come now, and let us reason together” (Isa. 1:18). This image of God and man sitting down together for a good talk is one of the best images of prayer.

b.     Allow God’s Words to Encourage You. Dan. 9:2, 11-13

1.     The Word of God and Prayer Go Together.  Acts 6:4, But we will give ourselves continually to prayer, and to the ministry of the word.

2.     The Word Should Direct the Prayer Life.

a.      The Comprehension of the Word (Dan. 9:2).  Daniel, a student of the OT prophecies (Jer. 25:1–14), was now nearly ninety years old. He knew his people would be in Babylon for seventy years.

                                                                                            i.     Note that God does not give his people “visions and dreams” when He can teach us through His Word. Today His Spirit teaches us through the Word. Beware of “new revelations” that are supposed to come from dreams and visions. The Word gave direction to his prayers.

                                                                                          ii.     Daniel realized that the seventy years of captivity were about to close. Babylon invaded and siege Palestine in 606 B.C., and Daniel understood the prophecies in the year 539–38 B.C.  There were but two years left in the seventy years! What an exciting time Daniel had in his Bible study that day!

b.     The Communication of His Prayer (Dan. 9:3).

                                                                                            i.     Daniel did not go out and boast about his insight into the Word; in fact, he did not even preach a sermon.

                                                                                          ii.     He went to his knees in prayer. This is the true attitude of the humble Bible student. It is sad to see “prophetic truth” making boasters instead of prayer warriors out of people.

                                                                                        iii.     Daniel’s prayer is one of the greatest examples of intercession in the Bible.

 

c.      Use God’s Promises When You Pray. 

1.     God is pleased to do His wise and wonderful will and we can participate in this as we pray His will and claim His promises (Matt 6:10).

a.      Why did Daniel pray for the prosperity of the desolate city of Jerusalem? Because God had promised not only to end the captivity, but also to take the Jews back to their land that they might rebuild their temple. See Jer. 29:10–14 and 30:10–24. In Isa. 44:28, God promised that Cyrus would permit the Jews to rebuild the city of Jerusalem.

b.     So, Daniel was laying hold of these great promises and turning them into believing prayers.  God answered his prayers!  He will answer ours when the Word directs our prayers and we claim the promises of God.

2.     Consider some wonderful promises afforded us for Christian living that should be used in our prayer ministry.

a.      Christ promised forgiveness to the sinful, rest to the weary (Matt. 11:28-29), security to the believer, “… him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out” (John 6:37), comfort to the sad, hope to the dying, and life to the dead (Jn. 11:25-26).

b.     Another wonderful promise is that of eternal life: “He that hath the Son hath life …” (1 John 5:12).

c.      We are also promised (1) Freedom from sin’s dominion (Rom. 6:14). (2) Grace that is sufficient (2 Cor. 12:9). (3) Power to obey His commands (Phil. 4:13). (4) Victory over the devil (Jas. 4:7). (5) Escape when tempted (1 Cor. 10:13). (6) Forgiveness when we confess our sins (1 Jn. 1:9)—and forgetfulness too (Jer. 31:34). (7) Response when we call—“I will deliver thee” (Ps. 50:15).

d.     Then we have the promises of inheritance (1 Peter 1:3-5) and the return of Christ (1 Peter 1:9, 13).

3.     Daniel’s Prayer Did Not Involve Sharing a Shopping List.

a.      Can you imagine living in a relationship with a person who made demands or requests, or stated opinion or facts, but never waited to hear what you had to say?

b.     Such a relationship would be very unfulfilling. You might establish a degree of protocol, courtesy and function with very little efficiency with that person, but the relationship would probably be very cold and unsatisfying to you.

c.      That is precisely the nature of many people’s prayer life. There is no heart to their communication with God, no real intimacy, and no deep fulfillment. There is little or no sense of connection with the divine Person!  For communication to be satisfying, it must involve a genuine dialogue, not a series of short monologues.

d.     What does God get out of spending time with you?  Your list of wants or your heart?

B.  COMMUNICATION THAT BUILDS RELATIONSHIPS IS DEEP. (Heartfelt)

Daniel 9:22-23, And he informed me, and talked with me, and said, O Daniel, I am now come forth to give thee skill and understanding. [23] At the beginning of thy supplications the commandment came forth, and I am come to shew thee; for thou art greatly beloved: therefore understand the matter, and consider the vision.

1. Daniel’s Prayer Involved Heartfelt Concerns.
1. God’s Answers in Response to Our Concerns (9:22-23). Daniel was evidently concerned about God’s program and Israel’s future (Dan.9:2). Remember Jeremiah’s prophecy (Jer. 25:11-12) had revealed God’s plan for Israel.

                                                    i.     Daniel wanted to know what would transpire after Captivity. Daniel’s previous two visions (Dan. 7-8) dealt primarily with Gentile nations.

                                                  ii.     So Gabriel was dispatched by God to settle Daniel’s concerns and to reveal God’s program for His people in the covenant kingdom under Israel’s Messiah.

2. God Answers Prayer by Revealing His Plans.  He had already settled his purpose of Israel’s restoration. God often answers prayer in a different way from our expectation.

                                                    i.     Sometimes he opens our eyes to blessings already given, but not recognized. This is how God answered Hagar’s and young Ishmael’s need for water (Gen 21:19).

                                                  ii.     Sometimes he changes our desires, and inclines our hearts to rest in his will by showing us that it is better than our will (Ps. 37:4-5).

                                                iii.     The best prayer is that in which we seek to be in harmony with the will of God (Matt 26:39). “Not as I will, but as thou wilt.”

3. God Answers Out of Love for Us. Gabriel would give Daniel insight into God’s purposes for His people because the prophet was highly esteemed and “greatly beloved” (Dan. 10:11, 19) by God. 
4. God Answers Because We Have Learned to Pray Intimately.  That is we invite God into anything and everything as our Councilor for consideration and conversation.  We should be able to talk with Him about everything.

                                                    i.     Not just the major decisions, but we freely and frequently welcome God into small decision regarding our daily activities, schedule, trips, hobbies, pursuits, and interests. 

                                                  ii.     If it causes us concern we can talk to this trusted Friend about it. We are assured of His interest, the reliability of His counsel, his availability to us, and His meaningful help. 

 

2. Prayer is Meant to Be Deep Communication from the Heart.
1. Consider the Results. The end results of intentional dialogue can be wonderful. We know this to be true in our relationships with other people. When we have a deep and heartfelt conversation with another person, we very often come away from that experience saying, “I have a much better understanding of him and his problems, needs, and concerns,” “I have deeper feelings toward that person,” “I have a greater appreciation for who she is,” or “We have a stronger friendship.”
2. Cultivate the Relationship. The same is true when we communicate intentionally and conversationally with God. We know Him more intimately, understand Him better, feel more at home in His presence, find reasons to praise Him, have a deeper relationship with Him, we feel free to trust Him more implicitly, and our love for Him grows.

CONCLUSION:

The specifics of your prayer relationship with God are as distinctive as any other aspect of your life and your ability to communicate. God is eager to spend time with you and to develop a deep, intimate relationship with you that is marked by great joy and well-being. It is an experience to be pursued and a relationship to be valued beyond all others.

God’s Order for Husbands (Part II)

 

“Adopting God’s Order for Husbands” 

1 PETER 3:7

SUBJECT: SUBMISSION AND MARRIAGE

THEME: Each believing husband is to submit to God’s order in his marriage.

RELEVANCE: the best husband first views his marriage as an expression of his submission to the Lord. Abandoning the ‘traditional,’ ‘romantic,’ and ‘institutional’ models of marriage he freely clings to God’s Order. He is not loyal to his wife primarily nor worldly models; the Christian husband is devoted to Christ first—above all. He fully submits to Christ’s authority in his life and seeks to guides his family accordingly.

INTRODUCTION:

First, what is marital chaos? What is it like when matrimonial structure is absent?

“Marital chaos is a state of severe, chronic conflict and instability within a marriage, transforming it from a supportive partnership into a high-stress, unpredictable environment. It is characterized by constant, intense arguments, lack of trust, emotional distress, and potential, or actual, separation or divorce. It often involves a breakdown in communication, with partners in a cycle of hurt, blame, and, sometimes, apathy.”—AI Overview

Most marriage problems are normal and often solvable with better communication, clearer boundaries, and shared habits. The most common marriage issues include communication breakdowns, intimacy changes, financial stress, parenting conflict, and uneven household labor.—Matrimonial Chaos - Wikipedia

Beloved, God’s Order or Marital chaos…there really is no serious comparison here. Again, the common theme of the preceding chapter 1 Peter 2 and this one (Chapter 3) is submission to the Lord even in unfair circumstances! Therefore, the husband must likewise first accept God’s Order for marriage, which brings us to our first observation and the continuance of hope or the establishment of the same.

MESSAGE: HUSBANDS MUST ADOPT GOD’S ORDER IN MARRIAGE. 1 Pet 3:7, Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

I.  LIVE WITH CONSIDERATION FOR HER, Vs 7

Now the apostle turns to husbands and shows the corresponding duties they must fulfill. They should live considerately with their wives, showing love, courtesy, and understanding.^[1]

Peter exhorted Christian husbands to give their wives two gifts of love: understanding and respect.^[2]

When a Christian husband obeys the Lord in this regard, his wife will not legitimately sense from him a lack of appreciation, mere utilitarian use, rejection, devaluation, misunderstanding, distance, anger, frustration, criticism, jealousy, inadequacy, or coldness. If any of these conditions really exist, there is a solid platform to communicate with each other through the difficulties.                                            

A. Consider Spending Quality Time with Her. “Dwell with”

This phrase means to dwell together. It is true we all want provisions, security, connection, and belonging, but a wife needs these in a more amplified manner. Many of her needs are addressed by spending quality time with her.

                       1) Understanding Her Involves Building Depth in Your Relationship.

 The Husband is to actually spend some quality time with his wife. Husbands are to live with her in close togetherness. This is much more than living under the same roof. This is instruction to take responsibility for deepening your closeness. Often understanding requires courage as a wife and patient consideration as a husband.

The first protest of a good provider would be, “Well I’ve provided a nice home and a good living for her, what more could she ask for.” The truth is that material things or animals can never satisfy our sociological needs or our desires for thoughtful companionship. Material things will answer some small physical needs but you both still require the opportunity to share your souls with each other. The deepest sharing and togetherness is with the Lord Jesus, but a second is throughout life a husband and wife are to share themselves completely with each other. It takes real courage and trust to deepen this dynamic.

Remember, Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden demonstrated God’s design for marriage and companionship—togetherness. Again, Gen 2:18, says, “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”

1) God designed the profound community essentials of man to be meet through a human counterpart, his wife. In Genesis 2:18, “help meet” mean ‘helper,’ ‘succour,’ and ‘corresponding counterpart.’

2) A husband, out of humility, has an innate (inborn or essential) necessity to cultivate oneness with his wife. Most godly men require the sweetness, sensitivity, and tenderness of a faithful wife.

3) When God provided Eve, all of Adam’s material needs were already satisfied before his creation in the Garden of Eden. God helped him come to this conclusion—man needs a corresponding counterpart in a wife.

4) Essentially, God helped Adam recognize his personal and essential need for a wife, and Eve was His provision. She was not intended to replace him, lead him, or compete with him, but to serve God together with him as his appropriate helper. Her role was different from the very beginning.

5) Eve was created for the high purpose of being Adam’s most intimate companion. This means that she was adequate for him, complemented him, and corresponded to him and he to her. God intended for Adam to lead Eve from her very beginning.

6) Accordingly, merely being a good provider for your wife and family does not satisfy all your needs to connect with her deeply as companions.

There will also be an element of mystery and intrigue, but a husband and wife are to provide answers into each other that cannot be discovered with mothers, fathers, sisters, and brothers. It means there is more to a godly woman than the need to connect and there are more than a mere few choice things to satisfying a man of God. It is the responsibility of a husband to lead this exploration and remember the goal is holiness and not merely happiness. It takes courage, humility, patience, and a willingness to grow together in the Lord.

                      2) How Can We Build Deeper Understanding?

You must spend meaningful time together! It may mean giving up a favorite TV series, fewer trips to the gym, or the golf course. It may mean leaving the Internet alone and disciplining the use of your time more. It may mean stopping the overtime when you can avoid it and calling home when you must be late. Give her your complete attention with listening, eye contact, and trying to empathize. Not merely talking but dwelling with her! The following are some other helpful suggestions.

                           a) Become Dissatisfied with Anything Less Then Oneness. View it as inconsistent with the scripture to have a shallow affiliation with your wife. Refuse to merely live together and just exist in the same household. Take some honest inventory and endeavor to fix your relationship with the Lord’s guidance. Gen 2:24, Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

                          b) Create a Climate of Trust

We must reassure our wives of our fidelity—our faithfulness. Leave no room for doubt in her mind. Talk with her about anything she is uneasy with. Avoid little white lies, withholding relevant information, emotional or literal disloyalty, harmful flirtations which could create distrust, avoid harmful situations which could lead to misunderstanding. It is only through a deepening sense of trust that we develop greater intimacy with our wives.

                          c) Spend Time with Each Other

Intimacy comes when two people spend quality time together. This means limiting our time with ‘friends’ and social media to make time for your spouse…we treat the marriage union as a priority. We need time to talk together, walk together, celebrate together, think together, plan together, and dream together. Keep your promises, you do not need to be too critical of every little things, and face up to reality with the goal of becoming holy in the Lord. This does not eliminate a husband’s leadership; it simply helps him understand his wife and her need for assurance from you. With out this dimension in your marriage ‘something will seem missing’…it will not provide the joy or insight God intended and both of you so desperately need.

“Several years ago, a twister swept through the farmlands of Kansas and touched down right of the farmhouse. The force of the wind lifted the room off and set it down about fifty feet from the house. It also lifted the bed on which the husband and wife were sleeping and set it down in the front yard. Immediately the wife began to cry. “Don’t cry,” the husband consoled, “Everything is going to be all right. You don’t have to be afraid.” The wife responded, “I’m not crying because I’m afraid. I’m crying because I’m happy. This is the first time in five years we’ve been out of the house together!”

God’s plan for your relationship is that it be an ever growing and deepening experience with each other.

B. Consider Limiting Social Media Involvement.

Social media outlets strive on female involvement and use! Some women would be ashamed of some of the stuff they posted or their general immodesty…advertisements…. Many western wives and potential wives were ruined by social media! Avoid content creators who are not living examples of what you want. Stir clear of worldly ideas from people more interested in the algorithm and telling you what you want to hear because it secures them likes and hearts. Remember they are trying to make a living on your engagements or comments!

1) Secrecy between a husband and wife is not a part of God’s plan for marriage.

Couples who cannot see each other’s online activities or they do not share their social media accounts tend to be hiding something about their online activity. God still can see when we obscure our actions incognito! I have seen one member share freely their social media accounts while the other member carefully concealed their actual activities. What hypocrisy! 

2) Options can prevent total commitment to your spouse.

More options do not provide more clarity; they only add to the confusion. Who is in your DMs? Who did you give your number to? Are you using your phone to be sneaky and secretive? What situations do you tolerate? Are you paralyzed by multiple options…unable to decide because you are convinced you could do better? Have you ‘settled’ until something better comes along? 

3) Distrust multiplies as your inconsistencies and lies become more evident.

Your activities poison your future relationship with her because your character is gravely flawed. This is also true for her. Your spouse detects the flaws early on, weather they say so or not…. The results are eroded trust… loss of confidence…discarded or phony fidelity. Building a foundation of reliability is vital for you both to grow in the Lord.

C. Consider the Many Descriptions in Scripture.

1)     The Book of Proverbs is packed with warnings and illustrations of the wrong and correct type of person and habits. We would be wise to pay careful attention.

2)     The Bible is also replete with portrayals of a God-fearing persons as well as examples of godless people. These should inform and warn us.

3)     While ‘perfection’ is out of the question, growth starts with honesty—transparency, confessions, and repentance—before God and integrity with your spouse.

4)     Heb. 4:12, says, “For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart”.

 The Word of God as living, active, and penetrates deeply to judge the thoughts and goals we have. Beloved, this is the transformative power of Scripture to convict, expose inner motives, and reveal truth. God gave us His word to aid our exploration of holiness, and to aids our marriages tremendously.

D. Consider Knowing Her Well; Pay Attention to Her. “According to knowledge”

This embraces the idea that husbands should actively study, understand, and respect their wives’ specific needs, emotions, and character to build a thoughtful, considerate, and loving marriage in Christ. We are to live with insight rather than ignorance, providing tailored care, and honoring them as equal heirs of God’s grace. This obviously requires you to pay attention to her.

Not only should you know her favorite color, restaurant, or shoes, but you understand best how she is put together. Husbands are to explore, investigate, and inquire into her person; the inclination to be more self-centered is great, but you need to pay some quality attention to her.

QUOTE: “Your wife is a unique vessel, carefully crafted and beautifully interwoven by her Creator. To “know your wife” means to know the answers to the complex questions about her. What is her innermost make up? What are her deepest concerns and fears? How do you help her work through them in the safety and security of your love? What does she need from you? Why does she respond as she does?”—Charles Swindoll 

Gentlemen, no one else can supply the answers to these questions about her. While more experienced wives can provide helpful insight around certain duties and obligations, a husband must have a curiosity that move him to understand her. Make it your quest to regard the natural cycles and more intriguing mysteries of your wife. As you do this, you’ll unlock other rooms and compartments of her innermost being worthy of your exploration. Her opening up to you will become normal and natural. Trust will escalate and understanding will increase. She is not required to be mysterious or secretive, but men do not necessarily understand women in general. This “knowledge” comes primarily as you cultivate intimacy, it takes time. It takes listening. It takes paying attention, concentrating, praying for insight, seeking understanding, and refusing to use such knowledge against her. Ask God to help you understand her! 

QUOTE: “Now, the phrase, "according to knowledge," is descriptive of a man's manner of life with his mate, a woman's need, wherein he studiously gives himself to the task of perceiving her rather unique needs, and then follows in applying himself to the skillful fulfillment of those needs. To live with a wife in an understanding way is to dwell with her, guided by a correct assessment of her womanly nature, and by a correct identification of her roles and her duties, over against your own roles and duties. It speaks of a manner of living characterized by sensitivity, by a close consideration of her femininity, and by the needs and desires which properly emanate from both.

About his wife, a man needs to understand such things-as I have been slow to understand-as that there needs to be times when a woman can cry without giving her husband an objective rationale to support it. Fourteen years I have been married, and while the lesson is somewhere in my head, all too often there is failure on the practical level-and an indictment, thus, of my manhood.

A man needs to live with his wife understanding such things as her acute need, for the praise and the gratitude of her husband- understanding her need for intimate and undistracted communication- understanding her need for practical help with dishes and diapers and floors and vacuum cleaning, etc., etc.- understanding her needs and her temperament, when the manner of woman is upon her.

A true man is not a brute. He is a wise, perceptive and lifelong student of his wife. And his understanding, first on the level of perception, then works out on the level of skillful fulfillment of needs perceived.”—George Mcdearmon

APPLICATION: Many wives would give their right arm for a husband that really knows her. Few things give a woman more security than her husband really understanding her. She may not even support each decision enthusiastically, but she is confident she is understood. This is what results in intimacy; it turns romance into a deep, lifelong agape-love. Frequent open and honest conversation will help a couple to arrive at this reality. Do not ignore, disregard, and neglect her; refuse to allow yourself to become indifferent towards her. “DWELL WITH HER ACCORDING TO KNOWLEDGE”!

For many men, there are no new discoveries here. Perhaps a few reminders of how important this really is. To be a student of Christ is essential for every believer and husbands need to be studious concerning their wives. My biggest disappointment in myself is that I was never consistent in this area. No doubt each marriage has special or infrequent developments that have proved challenging and somewhat disconcerting, but it is always advantageous to follow God’s order staying away from the possible chaos that could ensue. Don’t allow yourself to be distracted by work, the house, the yard, a hobby, sports, or even TV and the internet. Pay careful attention to your wife; she represents a special gift from God to you specifically.  

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^[1] William MacDonald, Believer’s Bible Commentary: Old and New Testaments, ed. Arthur Farstad (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1995), 2268.

^[2] Roger M. Raymer, “1 Peter,” in The Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures, ed. J. F. Walvoord and R. B. Zuck, vol. 2 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1985), 849.