This is Sooo Unfair!

1 Peter 3

Injustice is so much a part of life that we can become numb to the pains of others. Usually we do not spot injustices until they slam hard into our circumstances. Unkind, inconsiderate, or unreasonable demands at the office or at home are just a few ways it may rear its ugly head. It does not matter what the forum is, we seem to be acutely astute at detecting when someone is not following the rules or behaving according to our principles of equality and justice. Anger and fear are fairly common responses to unfairness. With this being the case, we typically protest moaning, “This is sooooo not fair!” when it happens to us. Then many of us will undertake personal efforts to level the playing field for ourselves….

The interesting thing is the Bible addresses these types of concerns in a remarkable but surprising way. Peter demonstrates that a submissive attitude is the correct approach for handling difficult relationships; this trust in God’s justice enables believers to behave in a conciliatory manner even when life is most unfair. That is correct…good and godly people are not promised “perfect” relationships, nor are we exempt from interpersonal problems. In fact, a Christ-focused lifestyle almost guarantees some difficulty in our various personal and professional interactions.  Specifically, the Apostle Peter applies the submissive-conciliatory strategy to marriage, interactions with fellow believers, and even to a society that is rather hostile to the Christian Faith. Beloved, it is through a submissive approach that we truly embrace the hope of blessing in our Lord.  The key is not to fight “fire with fire” when we encounter unfair treatment from various individuals, but rather pursue the path of peace to persevere while doing what is truly good. We can overcome hate with love, not with more hate. We can overcome fear with our trust in the equitable nature of Almighty God. Beloved, the results will be a clear conscience, great privilege, and blessing for the faithful believer.

Marriage can certainly present its own share of challenges to be sure; misunderstandings, interpersonal conflicts, chronic mistreatment, poor communication, and being unequally yoked to name a few. Yet, there is hope for wives dealing with an unsaved or wayward husband and for husbands searching for a promising way to relate to his wife.  The wife is to submit herself to her husband and live in a pure and respectful manner towards him while emphasizing authentic trust in God. By doing so she is refusing to give in to a fear of man. Employing this strategy requires stressing internal and enduring beauty over external fading attraction. In this light, God greatly values a “meek and quiet spirit” in a wife. Her influence with her husband is powerful because he can see that God is real to her and she is deeply rooted in Christ! Such women live in the same manner as Sarah who respected her husband, Abraham, exercising a personal trust in God. Such confidence in the Lord frees her of fearful living.  W. MacDonald said it well,

“They should do good and let nothing terrify them. This means that a Christian wife should fill her God-appointed role as an obedient helpmate, and not be terrified even if she must suffer the unreasonable conduct of an unbelieving husband, except, of course, when it becomes violent or life-threatening.”—Believer's Bible Commentary

Husbands should live with their wives in a manner that demonstrates their submission to God also.  The key is to love and spend time treating his wife with understanding and special consideration. This leads to exchanges in which his wife is characteristically loved, honored and respected as the “weaker vessel.” She is cherished as a partner in Christ—an equal in spiritual matters and a qualified sharer of the “grace of life.”  When a husband conducts himself in this manner with his wife, his prayer life is strengthened and unhindered. Dear husband, your wife needs attention and affection that communicates how much you value her as a special gift from God.

The fellowship of believers is positively influenced by a mutually sustained atmosphere of courtesy, compassion, and goodwill. While the opportunity to retaliate will present itself, we must not seize such occasions. Retaliation is not an option for the child of God who has been wronged or mistreated. Instead believers must choose the path of peace with zeal and resist all temptations to get even.  Believers are encouraged to do this by two wonderful facts. First, is the truth that we are called to inherit a blessing, and secondly, is God’s watchful care over the righteous. These realities give rise to hope, facilitate peace, and enable us Christians to continue to do good regardless of the mistreatment or unfair circumstances we incur.  Generally speaking people will not mistreat each other for good behavior; we find reason to hope in this principle.

The reality, however, remains that there are times when the world around us makes no sense at all. Good is persecuted and evil is praised. Believers have for centuries suffered for righteousness sake and will continue to experience such hostilities.  Beloved, it is painful how much the world outside of Jesus misunderstands us. Still the question remains, how do we cope with such prospects?  The first thing to do is understand how suffering for righteousness sake is a high privilege. Discomfort for Christ’s sake is not only acceptable but probable. Therefore, fearful and troubled hearts have no place.  Instead the Lord alone is to be set apart in the believer’s heart as the One to be respected above all else.  Christians should prepare themselves to speak clearly about their hope in Jesus Christ and give a defense for their faith in a meek and respectful manner. This enables us to continue with a good conscience and a lifestyle pleasing to Christ.  It is actually the will of God for good Christians to suffer for doing well instead of for committing evil. While believers suffering because of their Christian Faith may seem foreign to us here in the USA, I assure you it is not so in many places in the modern world. This counsel is especially meaningful and relevant to our brothers and sisters in Christ trying to survive religious persecution.

If this seems unreasonable consider the example of our great Savior! Our Lord Jesus illustrated this kind of submission when he gave Himself as the atoning, substitutionary, reconciling, all-sufficient sacrifice for sin to bring us sinners to God. The Lord Jesus did not deserve to be treated the way He was, yet He submitted to it as the Father's will and for the cause of our redemption. This same Christ is now raised, ascended, exalted in heaven, and reigning at the Father’s right hand.  His sufferings resulted in glory and blessing! The same is true for saints who endure the pains of an unfair world with a good conscience in pursuit of righteousness.

The Lord Jesus, by the Holy Spirit, also endured harshness in the days of Noah while the ark was being prepared. It was Christ Who empowered Noah to continue to do good and right in the face of cruel mocking, ridicule, and opposition.  Beloved, the result was eight precious souls saved through the flood while the rest of the entire world perished in the great deluge-judgment.  Believers must likewise continue to do right and sustain a good conscience no matter what consequences lay ahead.  The result will be blessing and honor for persistence in righteousness in the face of unfairness and mistreatment.  As God dealt with wicked humanity in Noah’s day, He will do so in the future; therefore, leave the matter of justice to Him. God knows how to handle such matters with proven expertise; do not fret when you are mistreated, disrespected, disadvantaged, or rejected. Yes, these are painful experiences, but take comfort in the Lord’s justice. Concentrate on doing well within marriage, relationships with other believers, and even towards a society that is hostile towards Christ and His people. God is fully aware of all that transpires in the believer’s experiences; our responsibility is to trust Him to be God. We do not need to fight fire with fire; there is no need to retaliate. It only provokes escalation and difficulty. The Lord Jesus really can handle the matter for you in His perfect timing.