Navigating a Tough Talk

 

Navigating a Tough Talk

God gives us principles for navigating difficult conversations that also respect and preserve the relationship.

I was recently challenged to study this subject again to be certain I represented the Lord in a way that honors Him, respects others, and sustains the cherished relationships. I was confronted with the fact I did not apply all these guidelines as well as I should; there is so much more for me to appreciate and relate to real situations. Without going into detail, I concluded I need more directions on this matter. So, I am sharing with you what God showed me during our conversation and Bible research.  

Again, there were several conversations I was low key dreading. Confrontations and hard truths to digest were my lot; I had to address these ‘tough talks’ with the right spirit. They weighed on me significantly…this I must admit. Even after doing this type of thing for years now, I still felt unprepared and inadequate. God’s counsel once again helped me through these difficult conversations, but there was more for me to learn about giving wisdom, handling the person with gentleness, and obtaining the courage to convey what was needed and what I really meant. Here is what God prescribes….

God’s Guidance for Difficult Conversations

1)    Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

Trust the Lord to lead you rather than your own reflexes. Resting your full weight on His character, promises, and sovereignty rather than splitting your confidence between God and your backup plan.

First, there must be a full commitment of ourselves—spirit, soul, and body—to the Lord. We must trust Him not only for the salvation of our souls but also for the direction of our lives. It must be a commitment without reserve.

Next, there must be a healthy distrust of self, an acknowledgment that we do not know what is best for us, that we are not capable of guiding ourselves.^[1]

2)   Colossians 4:6, “Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.”

Let your speech be with grace, seasoned with salt. Our words should reflect kindness, gentleness, mercy, and the unearned favor of God shown to us. We want to avoid harsh, rude, or arrogant language—always, with no exceptions for bad moods or difficult people. “Salt” preserves our speech providing wholesome, wise, interesting, and full of good sense statements rather than dull, vulgar, or corrupt/destructive language.

3)   Ephesians 4:15, “But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:”

Speak the truth in love, so you grow up together into Christlike behavior. Communicate godly messages with a genuine, self-sacrificial love so that everyone grows up spiritually to become more like our Lord Jesus Christ.  

Truth without love can become harsh, blunt, and wounding; love without truth can become passive, misleading, or tolerate destructive behavior. True biblical communication unites both grace and honesty. (Bible Ref)

4)   Proverbs 25:11, “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.”

Truth is most effective and attractive when delivered with care and beauty.  Communication should be well-timed, appropriate, thoughtful, and matched to the exact situation or need of the listener. It is not about talking too much or using overly fancy words but saying the right thing at the right moment.

5)   Proverbs 15:1, “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.”

A calm, gentle, and respectful response that lacks sharp edges, hostility, or sarcasm defuses, redirects, or cools down an opponent’s intense anger or fury before it escalates into a larger fight. However, painful, harsh, or cutting speech provoke, ignite, or add fuel to a fire, turning a minor disagreement into open hostility. (Unknown)

A gentle (lit., “soft”) answer can dispel a potentially tense situation by dissolving a person’s wrath (ḥēmâh, “rage”). Being conciliatory in such a situation requires forethought, patience, self-control, and kindness, virtues commonly lauded in Proverbs. A harsh (lit., “hurtful”) word, by contrast, arouses rather than dissolves anger.^[2]

6)   James 1:19, “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:”

Being “swift to hear” is to humbly receive God’s word (James 1:21) rather than letting pride and hot-tempered arguments cloud our heart. Instead of rushing to figure out what we will say next, we pause to truly understand the message. In addition, controlling the tongue (James 3) and dealing with the root causes of a conflict (James 4) are important ways to show faith. (Unknown)

7)    Philippians 4:6-7, “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

Talk with the Lord about it first, and His “peace” will guard our heart. Consciously, replace our worry and anxiety with prayer, and in return, rest in God’s promises to avail divine, incomprehensible peace that guards the heart and mind. So, instead of letting life’s pressures consume or ‘pull you apart’ mentally, you are called to stop carrying the weight of worry alone. (Unknown)

8)   Proverbs 16:24, “Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.”

These are kind, gracious, and thoughtful statements aimed at helping, encouraging, or comforting others rather than flattery or deception. Pleasant words are like honeycomb, sweet and healing. Our core structure or physical strength is positively impacted by wholesome words which are restorative and medicinal affecting our overall well-being. It is good to give real reinforcing compliments often; not mere flattery, and never manipulation!

Watchman Nee told of a woman whose husband never expressed appreciation for anything she had ever done. She worried constantly that she had failed as a wife and mother. Possibly this is what caused her to develop tuberculosis. When she was dying, her husband said to her, “I don’t know what we are going to do. You have done so much and done it well.” “Why didn’t you say that sooner?” she asked, “I have been blaming myself all along, because you never once said ‘Well done.’ ”^[3]

9)   Ephesians 4:29, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”

Let no corrupt word—something dead, foul, or useless—come out, but what builds up and gives grace. This includes speech that tears down, gossips, curses, lies, or brings moral decay rather than life. “Edifying” point to ‘building up’ or constructing. Just as a builder stacks bricks to raise a house, our speech should build up a person’s faith, strength, and well-being rather than demolishing them. To “minister grace” is to act as a channel of God’s unearned kindness, blessing, and encouragement to whoever is listening. Our ‘up lifting’ words should leave the other person better, stronger, resilient, and more hopeful.

While it is not guaranteed how the other party will react, we can honor the Lord with right motives and intentions as we undertake His priorities and advocate His ideas using His guidance.

I recall several instances where these insights played out in Bible character’s experiences. But one illustration stands out for me—Abigail’s soft wise actions. When her husband, Nabal, insultingly refused to give provisions to David’s men, David set out with 400 armed men to destroy Nabal's entire household. Abigail intercepted David with a peace offering of food and fell at his feet, delivering one of the most persuasive speeches by a woman in the Old Testament (1 Samuel 25:23–35). She immediately diffuses David's anger by asking that the blame for Nabal's actions fall on her instead (verse 24). She reminds David of his divine destiny to be king over Israel and that he fights the Lord’s battles (verse 28). She wisely points out that when he does become king, he will not want the heavy burden or “offence of heart” that comes from shedding innocent blood in a fit of personal revenge (verse 31). David was so moved by her humility and wisdom—her soft wise words—that he immediately relented, praising her for keeping him from these shameful actions and burdening his conscience needlessly with a guilty complex.

God’s Foremost Advice on Interpersonal Interactions

You cannot control how another person will react, which means communication requires managing your own actions and boundaries rather than expecting a specific response.

      1)    Focus on your delivery: You are only responsible for how clearly, honestly, and respectfully you express your message, not for the emotions or behavior it triggers in others. You can place your focus on your actions, messages, and motives/intentions.

o   When Abigail met David, she prostrated herself at his feet and delivered a masterful and successful plea. She first admitted that her husband was true to his name (Nabal means fool or cad).^[4]

2)   Anticipate unpredictability: People process information through their own past experiences, stress levels, and current mindsets, making their reactions inherently unpredictable. You cannot control all of this!

o   As she asked for forgiveness, she reminded him that the Lord had restrained him from … bloodshed and that God would punish his enemies—even Nabal. She had real spiritual insight into who David was, the anointed of the Lord, and praised him sincerely for fighting the battles of the Lord.^[5]

3)   Prepare for possible outcomes: Before having a difficult conversation, decide in advance how you will respond if the other person becomes defensive, dismissive, or angry.

o   When people feel threatened, their brains switch from logic to self-protection. Pre-determining your boundaries keeps you from mirroring their emotional chaos.

o   Defensiveness usually stems from fear, shame, or feeling inadequate. If they start making excuses or turning the blame on you, do not fight back with logic or try to win the argument.

o   De-escalate immediately by clarifying your intent. Validate their reality without agreeing with their behavior. Acknowledge their stress to build a bridge. Check for miscommunication. Ask a clarifying question: "What did you hear me say just now?" (Unknown)

4)   Protect your boundaries: Clear communication works best when paired with firm limits on what kind of treatment or pushback you are willing to accept during the interaction.

o   Refuse to argue about insults or side issues—don’t be distracted. Keep the frame centered on collaboration rather than combat: "It's us versus the issue, not me versus you." (Unknown)

o   Enforce a hard pause. If the emotional temperature is too high, pull the plug on the conversation immediately. Circle back later with cooler heads!

Remember, David was deeply impressed by these words of diplomacy and thanked her (Abigail) for preventing him from destroying Nabal. The Lord knows how to bring the right people into our lives to direct us and warn us. We should be thankful that He does. Abigail’s advice was effective; her generous gift was accepted. ^[6]

Again, God’s counsel helped us through these difficult conversations, perhaps you have had some reminders about giving godly wisdom, handling the other person with gentleness, and being courageous while conveying sensitive but needful thoughts and ideas. Yes, God gives us principles for navigating difficult conversations that also respect and preserve the relationship.

 

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^[1] William MacDonald, Believer’s Bible Commentary: Old and New Testaments, ed. Arthur Farstad (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1995), 798.

^[2] Sid S. Buzzell, “Proverbs,” in The Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures, ed. J. F. Walvoord and R. B. Zuck, vol. 1 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1985), 937.

^[3] William MacDonald, Believer’s Bible Commentary: Old and New Testaments, ed. Arthur Farstad (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1995), 833.

^[4] William MacDonald, Believer’s Bible Commentary: Old and New Testaments, ed. Arthur Farstad (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1995), 316–17.

^[5] William MacDonald, Believer’s Bible Commentary: Old and New Testaments, ed. Arthur Farstad (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1995), 317.

^[6] William MacDonald, Believer’s Bible Commentary: Old and New Testaments, ed. Arthur Farstad (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1995), 317.

 

“Be A Great Student in Church”

Spiritual Leadership in the Church Series

1 Tim 2:11

 THEME: the church is to conduct its services with order and safeguard women's opportunities to learn and growth in Christ.

RELEVANCE: Defying wholesome church order has become normal unfortunately; there seems to be more respect for women's rights than there is for God's order. Women have always played an important role in the Christian Faith, though very different from the male role. We all must ensure that God’s Word is at the forefront of our worship and that the gospel message is carried to the world and certainly to our families. 

INTRODUCTION:

“Let all things be done decently and in order” (1 Cor. 14:40) is a basic principle for the conduct of the ministry of the church. 

Many women have read these verses and became disturbed and angered because they think in terms of their situation and context. However, to understand these verses, we must appreciate the situation in which Paul and Timothy worked in Ephesus. Suddenly the Jewish, Greek, and former temple prostitute women experienced incredible freedom as new believers. Some overreacted, exhibiting their liberty to the extent of disrupting the church services. 

Submission Through Quiet Learning (1 Tim. 2:11).

Paul is writing to set these matters in God’s order.

            1.  Stress the Essential of Study for Women. (1Tim. 2:11)

This reflects a cultural context where women were encouraged to gain knowledge but were expected to do so in a way that maintains order within the church setting.

o   Women Were Guaranteed the Right to Discipleship.

o   Learning was correctly encouraged! The imperative for women to learn indicates that holy education and spiritual growth are vital for all believers.

o   “Let the woman learn.” Women are not to be the public teachers when the church assembles, but neither are they to be shut out of the learning process.

o   The phrase “let the women learn” is an imperative: Paul is commanding that women be taught in the church.

o   When Paul said that women should learn in quietness and complete submission, he was affirming their recognition as teachable members of the church.

o   Christian women were given "equal rights" with men when it came to studying the Holy Scriptures. This was an amazing freedom for many of the Jewish and Gentile women who had become Christians!

o   Continuous Learning Is One of The Keys to Spiritual Growth.

o   Deut. 5:1, And Moses called all Israel, and said unto them, Hear, O Israel, the statutes and judgments which I speak in your ears this day, that ye may learn them, and keep, and do them.

o   The people had entered a covenant with God, and Moses commanded them to hear, learn, and follow his statutes. Christians also have entered a covenant with God (through Jesus Christ) and should be responsive to what God expects. Moses' threefold command to the Israelites is excellent advice for all God's followers. Listening is absorbing and accepting information about God. Learning is understanding its meaning and implications. Obeying is putting into action all we have learned and understood. All three parts are essential to a growing relationship with God.

o   Learning Requires and Develops Humility. 

§  Lament. 3:27-29, It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth. [28] He sitteth alone and keepeth silence, because he hath borne it upon him. [29] He putteth his mouth in the dust; if so be there may be hope.

§  To “bear the yoke” means to willingly and humbly come before God to learn what he wants to teach us. This involves several important factors: (1) silent reflection on what God wants, (2) repentant humility, (3) self-control in the face of adversity, and (4) confident patience, depending on the divine Teacher to bring about loving lessons in our life. God has several long-term and short-term lessons for you right now. Are you doing your homework?

o   This Was a Novel Concept: Highly Unusual at the Time.

o   Neither first century Judaism nor Greek culture held women in high esteem. I don’t agree with this slight, but it is true.

o   “In first-century Jewish culture, women were not allowed to study. Jews and Gentiles regarded it disgraceful for women to discuss issues with men in public. The Jews were stricter, not even allowing women to teach the male children past the age of five. (After male children reached the age of five, the Jewish men taught them.) In Greek philosophy, Plato granted women equality with men. Aristotle severely limited their activities, and his view was more widely accepted.”  ---Life Application Commentary

o   There were several problems in the Ephesian church that made teaching in this area difficult. Some women, converted Jews, had grown up in an atmosphere repressive toward women. Suddenly these women were free in Christ. They overstretched themselves in the name of liberty, grandstanding their freedom and interrupting the church service in the process.

o   In addition, some of these women were likely converts from the cult of temple prostitution, so widespread in these major cities. These women were immature in the faith and doctrines of Christianity. They needed to learn, not teach.

o   Paul Championed Women’s Spiritual Privileges, But Also Taught the Limitations.

o   Some of the women in Ephesus probably overreacted to the cultural denigration they had typically suffered and took advantage of their opportunity in the church by seeking a dominant role in leadership. (Unknown)

o   The instruction for silence and subjection should be understood in light of the societal norms of the time, which valued order and respect in worship settings.

            2.  Stress the Necessity of Silence for Women.  (1Tim. 2:11)

Certain limitations actual advanced the teaching efforts and appreciated godly respect and order.

o   “Silence” Does Not Mean That Believing Women Were Never to Say Anything in the Assembly.

o   Rather women should, literally, “be peaceable and in quietness.”

o   The word does not mean complete silence or no talking. It is clearly used elsewhere (Acts 22:2; 2 Thes. 3:12) to mean “settled down, undisturbed, not unruly.” This is the same word that is translated “peaceable” in 1 Timothy 2:2.

o   A different word means “to be silent, to say nothing” (Luke 18:39; 1 Cor. 14:34).

o   Silence Does Mean They Were Not to Be Congregational Teachers or Leaders.

o   “In silence with all subjection.” “Silence” (“quiet”) and “subjection” (“to line up under”) were to characterize the role of a woman as a learner in the context of the church assembly.

o   Paul explains his meaning in v. 12: Women are to be silent by not teaching, and they are to demonstrate submission by not usurping the authority of the pastors or elders. (W. W. Wiersbe)

o   Some Women Abused Their Newfound Freedom In Christ and Created Disturbances In The Services by Interrupting. It is this problem that Paul addressed in this admonition.

§  It appears that women were in danger of upsetting the church by trying to “enjoy” their freedom.

§  Paul wrote a similar admonition to the church in Corinth (1 Cor. 14:34), though this admonition may apply primarily to speaking in tongues. (W. W. Wiersbe)

o   Submission Doesn't Mean Christian Women Have No Responsibilities Before God.

o   It does not imply that women surrender their mind, conscience, or moral responsibility to obey God rather than men (Acts 5:29).

o   This submission warns against presumptive and inappropriate grasping after authority.

o   “The special gift and ability of each creature defines its special limitations. And as the bird easily comes to terms with the necessity of bearing wings when it finds that it is, in fact, the wings that bear the bird . . . so the woman who accepts the limitations of womanhood finds in those very limitations her gifts, her special callings -- wings, if fact, which bear her up into perfect freedom, into the will of God.” -- Elisabeth Elliot

o   The Females in the Congregation Should Receive Instruction from the Male Leadership with Quietness and Full Submission.

o   They should not attempt to turn the tables by clamoring for the office of congregational teacher or by grasping for authority over men. (The Bible Knowledge Commentary)

o   In emphasizing godly conduct for women, Paul stressed, with Peter, the unfading beauty of “a meek [gentle] and quiet spirit,” which is of great value and worth in God’s view.

o   1 Peter 3:4, But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

These verses have to do with the learning and teaching of doctrine. Keep in mind that the women led in the mystery religions of Paul’s day, and they were sex orgies. Paul is cautioning women not to speak publicly with the idea of making an appeal on the basis of sex.^[1]

If any one bring forward, by way of objection, Deborah (Judges 4:4) and others of the same class, of whom we read that they were at one time appointed by the command of God to govern the people, the answer is easy. Extraordinary acts done by God do not overturn the ordinary rules of government, by which he intended that we should be bound. Accordingly, if women at one time held the office of prophets and teachers, and that too when they were supernaturally called to it by the Spirit of God, He who is above all law might do this; but, being a peculiar case, this is not opposed to the constant and ordinary system of government.^[2]

 

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^[1] J. Vernon McGee, Thru the Bible Commentary: The Epistles (1 and 2 Timothy/Titus/Philemon), electronic ed., vol. 50 (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1991), 45.

^[2] John Calvin and William Pringle, Commentaries on the Epistles to Timothy, Titus, and Philemon (Bellingham, WA: Logos Bible Software, 2010), 67.

 

Squandered Potential

GEN. 19:1-29

SUBJECT: Carnality/Emotional Orientation

THEME: the Believer persisting in carnality ignoring the leadership of our Lord is destined for spiritual failure.

RELEVANCE: So many people rely on their feelings, thoughts, intuition, families, and experiences far more than God, His Spirit, or Word for guidance and decisions. No doubt we all want to be spiritually successful like Abraham and avoid the miserable catastrophes of Lot’s failures! Consider the elements that make spiritual failure; they must be avoided to be successful in fulfilling God’s plan for our lives!

INTRODUCTION:

Lot was a failure because of his carnality…he remained a feeling dominated person and never became a Spirit and Word obedient person! The believer who refuses to focus his energies on holy values will certainly blunder God’s plan and moral principles. They will fail in many respects of God’s pathway. Again, persisting in carnality by ignoring the Lord’s leadership will prove counterproductive.

THE SQANDERING OF SPIRITUAL POTENTIAL

While we all have the potential to know and appreciate God’s purpose, many simply refuse to discipline themselves accordingly or even live up to their own expectations. Yes, the possibility exists for them, but they never realize genuine progress, change, or maturation because they insist on being more ‘feelings’ oriented…more given to their intuitions or cultural ideals instead of real discernment informed by the scriptures. An overview of Lot’s experiences demonstrates why it is usually bad to follow your ‘heart.’

            1. THE SITUATION OF LOT LOSING HIS WIFE.

Gen 19:17, And it came to pass, when they had brought them forth abroad, that he said, Escape for thy life; look not behind thee, neither stay thou in all the plain; escape to the mountain, lest thou be consumed.

Gen 19:25-26, And he overthrew those cities, and all the plain, and all the inhabitants of the cities, and that which grew upon the ground. 26, But his wife looked back from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt.

We have the total judgment of that region, Sodom and Gomorrah, and the immediate consequence faced by Lot’s wife for looking back. God kept His word and the surrounding valley, and all human life that remained there, including the small children, were destroyed. God’s wrath was so severe it even wiped out all vegetation, leaving the land empty and desolate! Beloved, we do not take sin seriously enough! God’s actions emphasize that persistent, unrepentant rebellion corrupts not only individuals and communities, but the very land itself. Allow that profound idea to sink in!

Follow this idea to its end, please. Lot’s wife turned back reflecting a heart still tied to the corrupt life, comfort, or possessions she was leaving behind. Once again God’s judgment falls upon her and she becomes a pillar of salt! This salt symbolizes being frozen or trapped by one’s attachment to sin, serving as a permanent monument to hesitation and disobedience. Beloved, let us all heed the warning of our Lord Jesus Christ! In Luke 17:32, Jesus explicitly tells His followers to “Remember Lot's wife” as a spiritual warning against trying to cling to worldly or sinful attachments when God calls for deliverance. Because her heart was still attached to her home, possessions, and old life, she was turned into a pillar of salt. She could not let go of the lifestyle there or she was too curious about what was happening to Sodom, but still she disobeyed God’s clear instructions and suffered the awful consequences!

Jesus uses this event as a warning to His disciples regarding the coming judgment and the suddenness of His future return to the earth:

• We must Realize No Hesitation is Permitted: When God calls us to flee destruction or embrace salvation, we cannot hesitate, stall, or try to salvage material wealth. It is urgent that we ready ourselves and obey Him because the next moment is not guaranteed to anyone.
• God Can See our Real Heart Attachments: Ms. Lot looking back wasn’t just a casual glance; it reflected a longing of the heart for the sinful or worldly life left behind. God could see this most obviously and transparently. Nothing is hidden from Him!
• We Must Prioritize the Kingdom Before Ourselves: As Jesus notes immediately after in Luke 17:33, “Whosoever shall seek to save his life shall lose it; and whosoever shall lose his life shall preserve it”. True faith requires complete surrender and looking forward, not clinging to the past or worldly distractions.

“When Jesus returns, those on earth must not be attached to their possessions and earthly comforts as was Lot’s wife. Commitment to Christ involves attachment only to spiritual and eternal realities. These provide the greatest security available.” –Holman KJV Study Bible

Child of God, looking back symbolizes a heart that still loves a sinful lifestyle or old habits—such ‘love’ leads to spiritual ruin. Remember carnality must be repented of as a matter of necessity! Our Lord Jesus requires a wholehearted commitment from each of us…as intimidating as this sounds it is never-the-less true! Following Him demands total, forward-looking obedience without hesitation or divided loyalties. 

            2. THE SITUATION OF LOT LOSING HIS MORAL COMPASS.

Gen 19:5-8, And they called unto Lot, and said unto him, Where are the men which came in to thee this night? bring them out unto us, that we may know them. 6, And Lot went out at the door unto them, and shut the door after him, 7, And said, I pray you, brethren, do not so wickedly. 8, Behold now, I have two daughters which have not known man; let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes: only unto these men do nothing; for therefore came they under the shadow of my roof.

This crowd from Sodom surrounding Lot’s house demanding he surrender his two male guests—who are really angels in human form—so the mob can sexually assault them. These corrupt individuals felt they could justify their behavior by nothing more than feelings or desires!

“In a controversial and shocking move reflective of extreme ancient Near Eastern standards of guest hospitality—where a host was bound to protect visitors at all costs, even above his own family—Lot offers his virgin daughters to the mob instead.” (See Enduring Promise)

It is tragic when a believer loses his ability to recognize right and wrong. Lot became inconsistent and confused by these depraved men who did not care about local customs and courtesies afforded to guests. His behavior became rather bizarre. He tried to protect the two men, who were total strangers to him, from sexual abuse, but he offered his own daughters instead. I am sorry but I cannot explain nor dismiss Lot’s strange behavior.... I will say; however, that when people fail to obey God in one area of their lives, they often deteriorate in other areas as well. Eventually they lose all sensitivity to right, wrong, sin, and particularly in their morals. Moral deterioration of the worst kind. 1 Corinthians 15:33, says, “Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.” Companionship, association, or interaction rather than just casual talking is the critical idea. God warns believers not to be misled by bad influences, false teachings (specifically concerning the resurrection of the dead in this chapter), or unwholesome company. He repeats this same theme numerous times:

• Proverbs 13:20, "He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed".
• Proverbs 22:25, "Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul".
• 1 Corinthians 5:6, "A little leaven leaveneth the whole lump".
• Proverbs 9:6, "Forsake the foolish, and live; and go in the way of understanding".
• Galatians 6:7, "Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap".
• 1 Corinthians 6:9, "Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived..."
• 2 Timothy 2:16, "But shun profane and vain babblings: for they will increase unto more ungodliness".

Lot was just like an airplane pilot in a thick fog without instruments to direct him. He didn’t know if he was flying upside down or right-side up. He lost all sense of spiritual direction and guidance. What an incredible warning to everyone in our present cultural climate!

Certainly, this event illustrates the deep and serious moral corruption and violence of Sodom and Gomorrah. The contrary crowd rejects Lot’s offer, the angels intervene by striking the men blind (Gen. 19:9-13), and God subsequently destroys the cities with fire and brimstone due to their widespread wickedness. The account serves as a permanent warning that persistent, unrepentant evil and injustice face real consequences. God showed willingness to spare the cities if even a small number of righteous people could be found, and He mercifully rescued Lot and his family before the destruction. The story highlights how living in and tolerating a deeply corrupt environment gradually leads to moral compromise. 

            3. THE SITUATION OF LOT LOSING FOCUS (THE WILL TO DO RIGHT).

Gen 19:15-16, And when the morning arose, then the angels hastened Lot, saying, Arise, take thy wife, and thy two daughters, which are here; lest thou be consumed in the iniquity of the city. 16, And while he lingered, the men laid hold upon his hand, and upon the hand of his wife, and upon the hand of his two daughters; the LORD being merciful unto him: and they brought him forth, and set him without the city.

This is one of the most serious steps downward in spiritual and moral deterioration. Even though God had revealed His will directly to Lot, he hesitated to leave and separate from that sinful environment. When he warned his sons-in-law of the coming doom and they rejected his suggestions, he evidently became so deflated himself that he lost the will to do what was right. Lot completely lost focus!

Dr. J.V. McGee observed,

When the time came that Lot got this word form the Lord to leave the city, he went to his sons–in–law and said, “Let’s get out of here. God is going to destroy this city.” They laughed at him. They ridiculed him. I suppose they knew that the week before Lot had invested a little money in real estate there. He had lived so long as one of them, without any real difference, that they took his warning as a big joke. This man was out of the will of God in this place, and he had no witness for God. He did not win anybody for the Lord in this city. The same principle is true today: when you go down to their level, my friend, you do not win them. I think that that is being clearly demonstrated in this hour.^[1]

If it were not for God’s mercy, grace, patience, and love for Lot and his family, they would have been destroyed with everyone else in Sodom. The Lord had to use His angels to literally drag them out of the city before destroying it!

Dr. W. W. Wiersbe notes,

That morning dawned bright and beautiful. People started about their daily tasks—and then judgment came! The wicked cities were completely destroyed. Only Lot and his two single daughters escaped alive. Sodom’s fate is a picture of the wrath to come. When men think there is peace and safety, then destruction will fall (1 Thes. 5). Lot’s rescue, meanwhile, is an illustration of the rapture of the church prior to the pouring out of the wrath of God. The Lord rescued Lot for Abraham’s sake (19:29), and He will deliver His church from the wrath to come for Jesus’ sake (1 Thes. 1:10; 5:9).^[2]

There is something else about all of this that we cannot afford to overlook. Remember, God was showing extraordinary patience with Lot because Abraham was on the hillside praying for him. Yes, Ol’ Uncle Abe, the one he had mistreated, and acted so selfishly with was on the hillside pleading with God to spare Lot and his family. Intercession for those who have hurt us and treated us wrong is a sure mark of spiritual commitment! (Gen.18-22-33).

 

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^[1] J. Vernon McGee, Thru the Bible Commentary: The Law (Genesis 16-33), electronic ed., vol. 2 (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1991), 49.

^[2] Warren W. Wiersbe, Wiersbe’s Expository Outlines on the Old Testament (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1993), Ge 19.