Why Spiritual Sealing Matters

Again the sealing of the Holy Spirit refers to His ministry of marking the children of God as His own possession and guaranteeing their complete salvation. Having discovered from Ephesian 1:13-14, that this holy sealing transpires at conversion and primarily signifies that believers belong to God, it is vital that we explore the significance of this divine act further. In this article we will consider how spiritual sealing refers to spiritual authority, security, and protection. So, not only does the sealing by the Holy Spirit denote ownership, but it further signifies power and safeguarding for every genuine child of God. These are blessings afforded by the Heavenly Father to every believer without a single exception. They are not privileges earned through obedience, but given as pure acts of grace through the Holy Spirit. Note once more what the insightful Apostle Paul says in Ephesians 1:12-14,

That we should be to the praise of his glory, who first trusted in Christ. ¹³ In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise, ¹⁴ Which is the earnest of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, unto the praise of his glory.^[1]

DIVINE PROTECTION

Spiritual safeguarding is afforded because the true Christian is sealed by the Spirit. This is God provided protection and security—it is unparalleled and without equal in potency. The Roman seal on the tomb of the Lord Jesus carried this meaning of security and protection rooted in governmental authority (Matt. 27:66). The tomb was under the protection of Roman authority and was to remain secure and the seal unbroken. This was the Jewish rulers and Roman officials’ effort to insure the disciples of the Lord Jesus did not come secretly to steal his body to then make a false claim that Christ had risen from the dead. Likewise, the believer belongs to God, and is spiritually safe because he or she is under divine authority and protection—we are “kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation” (1Pet. 1:5). According to the Lord Jesus, the Holy Spirit will abide with the believer forever—He will not break this seal nor forsake this ministry of safeguarding God’s people (John 14:16-17). Certainly, it is possible for Christians to grieve the Spirit and thereby lose the blessings of His ministry (Eph. 4:30). But He does not leave them; in fact, this a far cry from forsaking believers because of some area of unfaithfulness in the believer.  The Spirit keeps each believer safely and securely in God’s grace and love as He promised (Rom. 8:26-39). The result is life-long eternal security and spiritual protection that will never expire! The truth highlighted here is that the Christians can never…ever…ever be lost again.

Anders (1995, Chapter 3) gives one commonly used story picturing the power and significance of a seal through an emissary that Alexander the Great once sent to Egypt. This representative of the most powerful man on earth at the time traveled to Egypt without weapons or military escort. He carried only the seal of Alexander, possibly a signet ring bearing Alexander’s official seal.

The emissary met with the king of Egypt, who stood with his army behind him, and communicated to him that Alexander wanted him to cease hostilities against Alexander’s interests. The king of Egypt, wishing to save face, said that he would consider Alexander’s request and let him know later what his response would be. At that, the emissary drew a circle in the dirt around the king of Egypt and said, “Do not leave the circle without informing me of your response.” Think of that! The king of Egypt was standing there in full military array, with his army instantly ready to obey his commands. The emissary was unarmed. Yet the king dared not harm or defy the emissary without defying Alexander. Whatever he did to the emissary, he did to Alexander. Realizing that he was facing, by extension, Alexander himself, after a long, tense moment he said, “Tell Alexander he has his request,” and stepped out of the circle.

That is the power and significance of a seal. It carries the full weight of the one who owns it. Christians have God’s seal, the Holy Spirit, which carries the full weight of God the Father behind it (2Corinthians 1:22). The entire power and authority of Almighty God stands behind the believer’s security in Christ! The seal signifies that believers are God’s possessions; God is for them guarantying their security. If God is for them, who can successfully stand against them.

BELIEVERS’ ASSURANCE

It should also be reemphasized that the Spirit’s seal in the believer’s life is meant to be experiential. The Spirit grants inner assurance that a repentant believer is indeed justified before the Lord God because of their faith in the redemptive work of Jesus Christ. Though a believer is sealed but once, the spiritual blessing can be experienced continually. Martyn Lloyd-Jones (1997 p. 260) in God The Holy Spirit taught that this is part of the value in God communicating this truth to the child of God. The truth is given that Christians might have assurance, enjoyment and blessed security in the salvation of the Lord. They are secure until the ultimate complete redemption and perfection in Christ. There is no need to fear being abandoned by God for whatever reason. We are blessed with the assurance that we belong to the Lord and that He belongs to us!

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine

Oh, what a foretaste of glory divine

Heir of salvation, purchase of God

Born of His spirit, washed in His blood—Fanny Jane Crosby (1820-1915)

BELIEVER’S AUTHENTICITY

Another use for the seal is as a mark of authenticity (Wiersbe 1989, Vol. 2. p. 13) (John 6:27; 3:33). When the Lord Jesus said that God the Father had set His seal on Him, He meant that God had sent Him and approved Him as the genuine Giver of eternal life (Jn. 6:27). Christ’s power to give life rested in the authority which God the Father had vested in him. Thus Christ’s offer of eternal life is legitimate and real; we are free then to trust Him…to believe any claim He makes…to regard ourselves safe under His influence and care. The Father set his seal of approval and authenticity on the Son at his baptism when the Holy Spirit came upon him and the Father spoke of him. When one sets his seal to something, it means that they promise that it is true or genuine. God sealed the Son of Man in the sense that He endorsed Him as the authentic Giver of eternal life, and the One who spoke the truth. Such clear declarations of the authenticity of the Lord Jesus connects deeply with our need to trust Him...believe Him…commit ourselves to following Him. Christ and His message are confirmed by God; He is real about what He promises. Jesus is free of mere clever manipulations! 

Just as a signature on a letter attests to the genuineness of the document, so the presence of the Spirit indwelling believers proves the believer is genuine. There is more here than a claim to believe…more is involved than participation in religious meetings, something far weightier is of interest than meager assertions about being serious about our faith. Paul said, “If any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of His” (Rom. 8:9). It is wise to permit that biblical statement to persist with the intended strength with which it was given! Wiersbe (1996, Vol. 2. p. 13) taught it is not simply our “lip profession, our religious activity, or our good works, but also the witness of the Spirit that makes our profession of faith authentic” (Rom 8:14-17).  This reality should be well understood and never diminished. Romans 8:16 says, “The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God”^[2] Denney says…Our own spirit tells us we are God’s children, but the voice with which it speaks is, as we know, prompted and inspired by the divine Spirit itself.”^[3] So the significance of the seal is that it declares divine ownership, provides eternal security, and testifies to an authentic conversion experience.

EARNEST

The second observation of the apostle Paul reveals the Spirit’s seal is the “earnest of our inheritance” (Eph. 1:14). Consider Paul’s affirmation, “…ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise, ¹⁴ Which is the earnest of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, unto the praise of his glory” (Eph. 1:14). Therefore, receiving the Spirit was only the ‘first installment’ of the spiritual inheritance. This can be seen through a study of the word “earnest.” And one can be certain “earnest” is a fascinating word!  McGee (1997) indicated in his Thru the Bible with J. Vernon McGee commentary that in Paul’s day, it meant the down payment to guarantee the final purchase of some commodity or piece of property.

Even today one will hear a real estate agent talk about earnest money to secure a property interest. Naturally speaking, earnest has to do with the deposit one puts down when making a sizable purchase.  It means one is contracting that they will certainly pay the rest; they is putting down on account; it is the first installment, paid as a kind of security (Anders 1995, Chapter 3). It’s a pledge that one will follow on with something more.  Basically there are two other passages of Scripture that communicate this concept of the Spirit’s ministry in the believer and they are 2Corintians 1:22 and 5:5.  This seal, the presence of the Holy Spirit’s indwelling believers, guarantees the final and full redemption of believers (Richards & Richards 1987). It intimates that the present activities of the Spirit foreshadow the type and quality of ministry He will do more fully in the new creation, and so the Spirit with whom God marks them with his stamp of ownership is also appropriately called the “earnest” meaning “caution-money deposited by a purchaser in pledge of full payment,” ‘guarantee’, even ‘first installment’ of believers inheritance (Rom. 8:23; 2Cor. 1:22; 5:5)  according to Wuest’s Word Studies in the Greek New Testament (Wuest 1997, Vol. 1, p. 49). Max Anders (1995, Chapter 3) in The Holy Spirit: Knowing our Comforter adds yet another valuable insight to the concept of “earnest” by saying, The word earnest also means “engagement ring.” In Greece today you would find this word being used that way. But, after all, isn’t an engagement ring an assurance—a guarantee—that the promises made will be kept? Our relationship to God through Christ is not simply a commercial one, but also a personal experience of love. He is the Bridegroom and His church is the bride. We know that He will come and claim His bride because He has given us His promise and His Spirit as the “engagement ring.” What greater assurance could we want?

GUARANTEE

Then notice the phrase the “redemption of the purchased possession” (Eph. 1:14); it refers to the full inheritance. The seal guarantee to believers the Spirit will finish His work and eventually bring them to glory. Note what Paul stated in Romans 8:23, which says, “And not only they, but ourselves also, which have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting for the adoption, to wit, the redemption of our body.” The “redemption of the purchased possession” refers to the redemption of the body at the return of Christ in the Rapture (Rom 8:18-23; 1John 3:1-3). It speaks of a finished transaction. Even today when important legal documents are processed, they are stamped with the official seal to signify the completion of the transaction. The fact that Christians know the Holy Spirit is living in them is a perfect guarantee of their ultimate salvation—the redemption glorification (1Cor. 1:30). The Holy Spirit has been given to them in order that they might have some kind of idea of what awaits them when they arrive in glory.  God has given them the first fruits.  

One also should view the earnest of the Holy Spirit as having some experiential value for the believer in Christ Jesus.  It seems correct to think that this is afforded to them to give comfort and encouragement.  Martyn Lloyd-Jones (1997, p. 260-262) observed in God The Holy Spirit, that life can be hard and trying and filled with certain temptations and uncertainties, but God affords Christians these assurances to help them through this pilgrimage. What they have experienced of the Spirit is but a foretaste, it is but a sample, a kind of first fruits of the tremendous heritage God is preparing for them.  Again believers not only take these truths by faith, they are moved by them and their emotions are touched deep within, their entire being is influenced and stirred by this truth. Their conduct is curtailed and their actions are guided by this wonderful guarantee. 

The seal and earnest of the Spirit provide assurance of a finished transaction and a guarantee the believer will receive the entire inheritance as an heir of God. Finally, Max Anders (1995, Chapter 3) provides another helpful insight into the seal of the Spirit by noting how the trucking industry provides an interesting illustration of the sealing of the Spirit. For certain types of loads, when a truck is fully loaded and ready for its run, plastic seals are placed around the lock on the door. Breaking this seal before the truck reaches its destination will have at the least the appearance of thief and will mean the loss of one’s job. This is similar to the sealing of the Spirit. The seal of the Spirit cannot be broken before the Christian reaches his heavenly destination. It is the believer’s guarantee of reaching the destination God intends for them.  

Again, the blessings Christians receive now are just a foreshadowing: according to Paul, they still await their “inheritance” in the final and total redemption of the world by God at the end of time. Ephesians 4:30, re-emphasizes this truth, reminding them that they are sealed with the Spirit “unto the day of redemption” to come. Then God’s purpose, initiated in Christ, will be brought to consummation, and seeing it from beginning to end will evoke all creation’s praise of the Creator.

So then regarding the Spirit’s sealing, believers can know they belong to God, is secure in salvation, and their profession of faith is genuine. Then regarding the earnest of the Spirit, believers are assured of a finished transaction. They are guaranteed all the inheritance provisions will be realized fully for each child of God. If the ‘down payment’ was God the Spirit, what in eternity will the full payment be! Clearly, these are important matters to the people of God. 

One other truth should be realized. All these ministries of the Holy Spirit to Christians are simultaneous at the moment of conversion. While the conviction process may be long and drawn-out previous to salvation, people are not saved without it. It is still present at the moment of salvation, convincing sinners to repent, to turn from their previous attitudes about Christ, and to accept Him as their personal Savior. Regeneration, indwelling, and sealing all happen the moment one says “yes” to the invitation of Christ. Then a whole new and wonderful work of God begins in the life of the new convert. Sanctification and spiritual growth are the next natural considerations following such discussions. 

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^[1] The Holy Bible: King James Version. (2009). (Electronic Edition of the 1900 Authorized Version., Eph 1:12–14). Bellingham, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.

^[2] The Holy Bible: King James Version. (2009). (Electronic Edition of the 1900 Authorized Version., Ro 8:16). Bellingham, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.

^[3] Wuest, K. S. (1997). Wuest’s word studies from the Greek New Testament: for the English reader (Vol. 2, p. 135). Grand Rapids: Eerdmans.

The Seal of The Spirit

Once a person repents and believes on the Lord Jesus Christ as their personal Savior, they are not only indwelt by the Spirit of God, but they are sealed by the Spirit also. But, what is the sealing of the Holy Spirit? This is the next logical question to ponder at this juncture in this study. Understanding the Spirit’s ministry of conviction, regeneration, and indwelling, one must examine the truth that believers are sealed with the Spirit at the moment they believe. The sealing of the Holy Spirit refers to His ministry of marking the children of God as His own possession and guaranteeing their complete salvation.  Once again the apostle Paul gives some insight into this wonderful blessing in Ephesians 1:13-14. There Paul said, 

In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise, ¹⁴ Which is the earnest of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, unto the praise of his glory.

In what way is the Holy Spirit God’s mark of ownership on believers? In the Ephesians 1:13-14, the emphasis is on the blessings from God the Holy Spirit. Believers have been sealed by the Spirit and had received the earnest of the Spirit.  It would be best to look at these two concepts separately at first and then consider what they mean together as employed by the apostle. 

CONVERSION

To begin with, every believer has been sealed with the Spirit (v. 13).  Note here that the entire process of conversion is given in verse thirteen, so it would be of maximum benefit to examine it carefully. It reveals how the sinner becomes a saint. First is proclamation, the unbeliever hear the gospel of salvation—“ye heard the word of truth.” This is the good news that Christ died for our sins, was buried and rose again (1Cor. 15:1-4). Then reception, the Ephesians heard “the Gospel” and embraced it personally– “your salvation” (Eph 1:13). That is they all consciously repented and placed their faith in Christ and His finished work at Calvary.  This is the standard and typical way a sinner comes to Christ—through hearing the gospel. This pattern follows what Paul wrote in Rom. 10:13-15, exactly. There Paul said, 

For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. ¹⁴ How then shall they call on him in whom they have not believed? and how shall they believe in him of whom they have not heard? and how shall they hear without a preacher? ¹⁵ And how shall they preach, except they be sent? as it is written, How beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace, and bring glad tidings of good things (Romans 10:13-15)! 

It is God’s plan for evangelism. Christians must proclaim the message that men may hear and believe.  Conversion can only follow the gospel declaration. Well, having heard the Word, the Ephesians believed—“who first trusted in Christ.  In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the truth….” (Eph. 1:12, 13).  The God given gospel of Jesus Christ must not only be heard (Rom. 10:17) but believed (Jn. 1:12) to experience salvation (Rom. 10:8-10).  It is the exercise of this saving faith in the gospel that brings salvation (Eph. 2:8-9). Then when the Ephesians believed, they were immediately “sealed with the holy Spirit.” The phrase, “After that ye believed,” does not indicate a sequence or a process, but merely the resultant outcome.  The seal of the Spirit is not a second blessing—the “after that ye believed” (v. 13b) means effectively ‘when you believed’. That is once a sinner has placed his trust in the gospel of Christ. They receive the Spirit immediately upon trusting Him. Again this is not an experience following conversion, but simply the outcome of placing one’s faith in the complete redemptive work of Christ—it is part of conversion. Regeneration, indwelling, and sealing all happen instantly upon trusting Christ as Savior. A careful reading of Acts 10:34-48 demonstrates how the Spirit was received by sinners upon hearing the gospel and belief in Christ. Consider the words of Dr. Luke as he chronicled Peter’s characterization of these Gentiles receiving the gospel and the Holy Spirit. Luke said,

To him give all the prophets witness, that through his name whosoever believeth in him shall receive remission of sins. ⁴⁴ While Peter yet spake these words, the Holy Ghost fell on all them which heard the word. ⁴⁵ And they of the circumcision which believed were astonished, as many as came with Peter, because that on the Gentiles also was poured out the gift of the Holy Ghost. ⁴⁶ For they heard them speak with tongues, and magnify God. Then answered Peter, ⁴⁷ Can any man forbid water, that these should not be baptized, which have received the Holy Ghost as well as we? (Acts 10:43-47)

Thus the text communicates that they heard the word preached, received forgiveness of sins, the Spirit fell on them who listened, the gift of the Holy Spirit was poured out upon them, and they received the Holy Spirit just like the Jewish converts had. All of this happens simultaneously when the sinner believes. So upon belief the convert is seal with the Holy Spirit. This is the teaching of Ephesians 1:13. 

SPIRITUAL SEALING

But, what is the seal of the Holy Spirit? Paul states that very believer was “sealed with that Holy Spirit of promise” (Eph. 1:13). The seal can be perceived as God’s mark. Since Christians are in Christ because they believed the gospel, they are marked out as God’s people. The idea of God putting his identifying mark on his people is mentioned several times in Scripture (See Ezek. 9:4–6 and Rev. 7:1–8).  So this is not unique and clearly not new. The seal used to mark the people of God, New Testament believers, is nothing less than the promised gift of the Spirit. Walvoord and Zuck (1985) in The Bible Knowledge Commentary noted that according to Acts 2, the promise in question is principally that of Joel 2:28–29; but understood in a distinctively Christian way (Acts 1:4, 5, 8; 2:16-21, 32, 33, 38, 39).¹  

Accordingly, through this promised gift Christians received: (a) wisdom and illumination to perceive the implications of the gospel (Eph. 1:17–20; 3:5); (b) inner strengthening in the gospel (Eph. 3:16; 6:17); (c) access to, and the indwelling presence of, God and of Christ (Eph. 2:18, 22; 3:16–17); (d) the beginnings of the promised oneness of believers; Spirit-given unity of the Spirit (Eph. 4:3–4; John 17:21; 1Cor. 6:17; 12:11-13; Phil. 1:27; 2:2); (e) inspiration and power for godly living and thankful worship (4:30; 5:18–20) and (f) guiding and enabling help in prayer (6:18). All these activities are what marks believers as God’s people and are indispensable to ongoing Christian experience. All of this is part of the promise and evidence of the Spirit’s sealing in every believer.  Christians are marked by these blessings. They testify to the reality of their conversion.

But still what is the significance of this sealing of the Holy Spirit?  An understanding of the meaning of the word “seal” would be helpful in discovering the significance of this ministry of the Spirit in the believers’ experience. The literal meaning of the word “seal” according to Biblesoft’s New Exhaustive Strong's Numbers and Concordance (Biblesoft, Inc. and International Bible Translators, Inc. 2006) is to, “stamp (with a signet or private mark) for security or preservation (literally or figuratively); by implication, to keep secret, to attest.”² Basically it means to stamp for security purposes or to preserve by placing a signet mark upon. The Complete Word Study Dictionary: New Testament (Zodhiate 1994), adds this insight about sealing, “Christians whom God attests and confirms by the gift of the Holy Spirit as the earnest, pledge, or seal of their election to salvation.”³ Therefore, God testifies to a Christian’s conversion by granting the genuine seal of the Spirit. Furthermore MacDonald and Farstad (1995, p. 1911) reiterated how this is true of every believer in Christ when he stated,  

This means that every true believer receives the Spirit of God as a sign that he belongs to God and that he will be kept safe by God until the time he receives his glorified body. Just as in legal matters a seal indicates ownership and security, so it does in divine affairs. The indwelling Spirit brands us as God’s property (1 Cor. 6:19, 20), and guarantees our preservation until the day of redemption (Eph. 4:30)⁴.

DIVINE OWNERSHIP

According to these theologians, this sealing implies ownership: God has put his seal on Christians because He has purchased them to be His own.  This should sound very familiar (1Cor. 6:19-20).  The Bible clearly is reinforcing this concept of divine ownership. The sense is the Holy Spirit Himself is the certification of the fact that repentant sinners who trust Christ are God’s people.  The Bible speaks of them as being God’s own particular possession in several places (1Pet. 2:9; Tit. 2:14). Believers belong to Him. The Holy Spirit within them is the mark or God’s sealing.  It has been suggested (Anders 1995, Chapter 3) that this can be understood if compared to branding cattle on a ranch. If one were a rancher raising cattle, the day would come when one would need to brand the yearling calves.⁵ The ranchers would ride out onto the range and drive the cattle with new calves to a holding pen. There they would catch each calf and burn a brand into its hip. Anders said (1995, Chapter 3), “Your brand would be unique, registered to you only. No other rancher can have the same brand. Your brand says, “This calf belongs to YOU,” and no one can dispute it.”⁶ Likewise, the Holy Spirit is God’s brand on every believer. They are marked as God’s people by the Holy Spirit who indwells them.  

Once again, the sealing of the Holy Spirit refers to His ministry of marking the children of God as His own possession and guaranteeing their complete salvation. So, if you are truly saved, then you are truly sealed by the Spirit of God. Therefore, God is yours and you are His.

Gender Wars and Battles of the Sexes

 

God Created Two Genders—Male and Female

Genesis 1:26-28, And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. ²⁷ So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. ²⁸ And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

This article is concerned with the matter of two genders as the subtitle states, and to visit some of the difficult issues that fuel the battles between the sexes. Yes, I am very aware of highly educated folks claiming there are 63 genders. Some also insist there are about five sexes suggesting a distinction between gender and sex. Truly the disagreement and confusion among those who spout such ideas is more than a mathematician can calculate! I promise not to waste valuable time rehearsing these baseless and truly unscientific notions here. There are enough PhDs out there trying to make a name for themselves exploring something new…different or…full on weird. Biblically speaking, humanity is male and female as the Creator intended and nothing explains this patiently obvious reality better than the Word of God. The Lord Jesus states this at least four thousand years after creation, “And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female” (Matt. 19:4). With this in mind, let us explore this concrete idea that God created two genders—male and female. Then we will look honestly at some precepts of peace in marriage that could end the wars.   

Clearly the Genesis chapter 1 passage gives attention to the origin and roles of the sexes. It explores two questions, “Why did God create two sexes? And the second question is, “Can men and women be equal and yet have different roles?” The fact that God created humanity male and female is self-evident and clearly stated in Genesis 1:27. There is zero notion of an evolutionary process as this is presented as a direct and deliberate origination of humanity. It is also mentioned in Genesis 5:1-2 where Moses asserts that male and female bear the image of God. Male and female shows God’s image in (1) harmonious interpersonal relationship, (2) equality in personhood and importance, and (3) difference in role and authority (Grudem, 1994, p. 454). Four major sub-divisions of the subject of male and female may be addressed here: (A) personal relationships, (B) Equality in personhood and importance, (C) Differences in roles, and (D) the application to marriage. It is beneficial to look at each of these separately.

The personal relationships between male and female tells us that God did not create humanity to live in isolation, but in relationship (Gen. 2:24). Because people bear the image of God, they can enjoy interpersonal unity in different relationships and society. In fact the interpersonal relationships of human beings mirror the fellowship that exists within the company of the Trinity.  Healthy human relationships can show the unity, harmony, and fellowship that exist in the Trinity. This reflects the plurality of Persons as in the Trinity also (Jn. 17:5, 24). So marriage to some degree is designed to illustrate the enduring and harmonious relation in the Trinity (Mal. 2:14-16; Rom. 7:2). This is just one way the Trinity can be reflected in human life.

God’s design of equality in personhood and importance should also be pointed out. Just as the Persons of the Trinity are equal in their full existence and distinct Persons, so it is with men and women. They both are equal in personhood and importance. Male and female are created equally in God’s image and both reflect the character of God (Gen. 1:27; 5:1, 2). The Bible repeatedly emphasis this equality in personhood and importance regarding both sexes (Proverbs 31; Acts 2:17-18). Both are worthy of honor and respect and each individual should be thankful to God for what he made them. In New Testament times, the Lord Jesus was an outstanding advocate of this equality as evidenced in his teachings, illustrations, ministry, and actions toward women. Both are valuable and gifted members of Christ’s body (1Cor. 12:7, 11). Paul in Galatians 3:27, 28 clearly articulates this reality of equality in the church.

Equality, however, does not eliminate the differences in roles laid down in the Scriptures. In the Trinity, the Father has the greatest authority in spite of the fact that He shares equal personality with the Son and the Holy Spirit.  Clearly there are different and non-interchangeable roles within the Godhead. In marriage there must be recognition of authority and submission. Men are granted headship and the responsibility to lead and wives are responsible to submit and follow (1Cor. 11:3).  Also in this connection, there is biblical evidence for the existence of this distinction even before the fall of man. It is not a consequence of the fall, but it is hampered by the fall (Gen. 3:16). This can be substantiated by several observations. First, Adam was created before Eve (Gen. 2:7, 18-23). Secondly, Eve was created as Adam’s help meet or helper and not the other way around (Gen. 2:18). Thirdly, Adam named Eve thus signifying authority over her. Fourthly, God named the human race “Man” and not “woman.” Then fifthly, the serpent came to Eve first to undermine the marriage (Gen. 3). Sixth of all, God addressed Adam first after the fall and not Eve (Gen. 2:15-17). The seventh observation shows that Adam represented the human race and not Eve (Gen. 3:6; 1Cor. 15:22, 49). Eighthly, the curse because of the entrance of sin brought about a distortion of roles and not the introduction of new roles (Gen. 3:16, 18, 19). The woman would desire to rule her husband and the husband would rule over his wife with harshness and insensitivity. This is the consequence of sin. Then lastly, redemption in the Lord Jesus Christ reaffirmed the order of creation (Col. 3:18, 19; Eph. 5:22-33; Titus 2:5; 1Peter 3:1-7).

There are several noteworthy implications for the roles of men and women contained in the phrase “help meet for him” (Gen. 2:18). The first is the stated fact that it is not good for man to be alone (Gen. 2:18) and after God created Eve and brought her to Adam, God viewed this as very good (Gen. 1:31).  The implication is that man is a social creature designed so by God.  In light of this the term help meet means a helper “fit” or “suitable” or even “face to face” to him.  Some define it as ‘corresponding to’ the man. Thus Eve is not merely a helpmate, but a companion who would fulfill the social needs of Adam. 

In this connection, it should be recognized that Ephesians 5:21-33 do not teach a universal mutual submission among Christians as some have concluded. No, Ephesian 5:21 teach us to be submissive to others in the church who are in positions of authority over us. The context and the following verses (Eph. 5:22-6:9) show this to be the correct understanding of the verse. Spirit-filled wives will be submissive to their own husbands, and Spirit-filled children will be submissive to their parents, and Spirit-filled servants will be submissive to their own masters. This order is never reversed, nor diluted by a false idea of mutual submission.

How should we refute the cultural argument against the interpretation of roles in Ephesians 5 and 6? The cultural argument against sound interpretation of the roles prescribed in Ephesians 5 and 6 can be refuted in several ways.  First Paul’s instructions in this passage clearly are enduring; there is no statement or even hint of them becoming obsolete during this present age in God’s economy.  Some may argue that just as slavery has been abolished, so God’s order has changed for women in today’s culture.  They purport that wives in the first century were to submit to their husbands just as slaves in Paul’s day submitted to their masters: out of love for God and their freedom in Christ.  When slavery ended so did the requirement of submission in the wife’s role. But, again there is no such statement in any of the principle texts dealing with marriage that teach God’s order for marriage would not endure. The command to submit to one’s husband is enduring.

Secondly, marriage is a divine institution started and ordered by God directly and throughout revelation he addresses it to influence its course. Slavery is not an institution ordained by God, but rather God sought to regulate it to ensure justice, fairness, and Christian propriety. Slavery is a human invention, but God sought to manage, police and control it to eliminate abuses.  Accordingly, it is the institution of slavery that has been abolished. Is the cultural interpretation advocating abolishing the institution of marriage? Perhaps not by intent, but arguably they indeed are in effect. The elimination of marriage would be the equivalent to the abolishment of slavery, not merely deleting the role of wives’ submission to their husbands. 

Thirdly, the wife is to submit to her husband as unto the Lord and just as the church is subject to Christ (Eph. 5:22-24). These verses present a correlation and parallel to demonstrate the wife’s role to her husband—the church’s submission to the glorious Christ her Head. The analogy will not tolerate manipulation or role reversals. Is Christ still the head of His church? The obvious answer is yes. To reverse the role of the wife to head would also advocate the church assuming the leadership over Christ. No Christian person is prepared to embrace or advocate such a ridiculous proposition. To advocate a change in principle marital roles is equally absurd. 

There will always be cultural influences that invade Christian thinking and disrupt godly values.  However we must not bow to popular ideas to accommodate the culture nor to placate our own desire to avert controversy. The command to submit is enduring, the institution of marriage is divine not human, and the irreversible nature of Christ’s headship over the church advocates a patriarchal society.

So how should the husband exercise his headship in the home? The manner in which a husband fulfills his role of headship in the home must be understood.  He is to love his wife as “Christ love the church” (Eph. 5:25) and “love his wife as his own body” (Eph. 5:28).  He must show the same selfish concern for her welfare that he exhibits toward his own person and is to “nourish and cherish” her just as his physical body.  On the other hand he is to have the same self-sacrificing love for his mate that Christ has for His bride, the church. When a husband is right with God and loves his wife biblically, he treats her in such a kind, considerate, and thoughtful manner that she finds it easy to respect and submit to him as “unto the Lord.” The husband’s primary goal is to emulate the love Christ demonstrates for His bride, the church.  This kind of loving is not just emotional, but an orientation, a chain of choices, a series of actions designed to bring about the wife’s well-being, happiness, and ultimate wholeness.

In addition, husbands are not to be cruel and harsh with their wives, but to love them as Christ loves the church. This certainly makes it easier for a wife to live in submission to her husband. Men are not to be tyrannical or passive. Both extremes drive wives to great frustration! Wives are not to usurp authority over their husbands. This will only buy her resentment and weariness! Wives are not to be totally passive either. Husbands should focus on loving, considerate, and thoughtful leadership in their homes for the glory of Christ. Wives should focus on active, intelligent and joyful submission to their own husbands as unto the Lord Jesus Himself.

Consider another related question…. Why is it important to have a balance in the number of roles played by a husband and wife? Honestly, it is important to have a balance in the number of roles a couple assumes as individuals. The multiplication of roles for both husband and wife will have an adverse impact on the marriage and the family. A husband may be father and bread winner along with a ministry in the church, or a second job or even a volunteer position in the community.  A wife may not only be a mother, and homemaker, but also serve in the church, or even in a PTA or other community functions. The truth is we can handle many different roles successfully, but problems arise when we devote too much time to one role to the gross neglect of others. There is also the possibility of becoming spread too thin; performing many roles but none very well.  Every husband and wife must understand their limitations regarding time, energy, strength and emotional endurance. Though there are many worthy causes, we must develop the ability to say no to many of them. This will allow us to manage fewer roles in a far more meaningful manner, and insure children and spouses receive a healthy amount of interaction. Again God created the sexes to complement each other and to mirror the relationship in the Trinity as the couple shows the image of God in them.

Is it true that “Conflict is inevitable in marriage?” Yes, I can honestly say that conflict is inevitable in marriage. This is true with most couples; confrontations will occur.  There may be disagreement on a certain subject that creates tension, quarrels, and even hostility. Such confrontations may serve a useful purpose in that they force the couple to deal with issues and face problems they otherwise avoid. Since conflict is inevitable, couples must learn how to work through them and develop their communication skills. Strong families have the ability or communication skills to resolve their differences. They are able to talk about them, to share their feelings openly, and come to a resolution of the problem.

Well…what methods may a couples use to solve conflict situations? Several methods could be employed by a couple in conflict resolution…many are quite obvious. Having certain guidelines for arguing may prove to be very helpful if the couple has the discipline to stick to them in the heat of battle. The first step is to get to the base of the issue or source of the problem. Then once the fundamental issue has been understood, then the couple must explore the motive. Is it an ego problem? Or is this evidence of an inferiority complex? Maybe it’s an attempt to strike back or seize control through some form of manipulation. Once the problem has been discovered and discussed, the couple can now explore viable solutions to permanently settle the issue.  In additions once the problem is solved it is not to be brought up again in future quarrels.

There are other helpful approaches couples could use with some success and hope.  For example they should avoid attacking the others personality. Being familiar with their strengths and weaknesses means we possess an arsenal of ammunitions to damage our mate. Do not succumb to this temptation! Another tactic is to realize that some times are more appropriate for discussing problems than others.  One should never air differences when others are present, when one is tired, or when hungry. These will only escalate the problem when better timing would have been an aid in resolution.  Some families tackle problems as they come up and others have a set family conference time to deal with such conflicts. One of the most important things a couple must learn is how to compromise when this is a viable option.  Sometimes a couple must simply agree to disagree, but genuinely respect the other’s point of view.  Differences can also be resolved by assimilation—accepting the view of the other.  Always bear in mind that many problems can be solve through careful analysis.  Conflicts will occur, this we can be sure of.  In light of this each couple must develop skills and procedures to overcome disagreements and conflicts.  Instead of these becoming destructive, they can be used as constructive vehicles of growth and enrichment.

As noted earlier, God created two distinct genders, male and female are created equally in God’s image and yes, both sexes reflect the character of God as individuals and in relationship (Gen. 1:27; 5:1, 2). Clearly, the verses we have highlighted here repeatedly emphasis this equality in personhood and importance regarding both sexes (Proverbs 31; Acts 2:17-18). Conflicts will occur and disagreements can be work through. The more the character of Christ marks us the more capable we will be at working through the wars and disagreements. However, the more we allow our fickle culture to influence our thinking the more conflict and disharmony will escalate. Again, the Scriptures insist that both genders are worthy of honor and respect and each individual should thank God for what he made them.