Calling All Believing Church Women

 

“God's Place for Women During Church”

Spiritual Leadership in the Church Series

1 Tim 2:9-15

THEME: the church is to conduct its services with the women desiring God's order above the culture's preferences. 

RELEVANCE: Church services are to be focused on the Lord Jesus and the worship of God through Him! Instructions are shared to draw believers closer to the Lord as we together seek His honor and offer our praise. People believe God and chose Him when we live for His excellence or hype up His very real goodness and grace. Attention is designed with God in mind, not the church women or the external culture who may attend. The focus is not entertainment, but worship!

INTRODUCTION:

In these days of “Women’s Lib” and other feminist movements, the word “submission” makes some people angry and triggered. Some even accused Paul of being a “crusty old bachelor” who was anti-women. Holding to the inspiration and authority of the Word of God, we know that Paul’s teachings came from God and not from himself. A problem with what the Bible says about women in the church, is not with Paul (or Peter—see 1 Peter 3:1–7), but with the Lord who gave the Word (2 Tim. 3:16–17). Actually…we reveal the real problem is with us!

• The word “subjection” in 1 Timothy 2:11 has to do with “submitting” and “submit” as in Ephesians and Colossians.
• Ephes. 5:21-22, Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. [22] Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
• Col. 3:18, Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.

• It literally means “to rank under.” Anyone who has served in the armed forces knows that “rank” has to do with order and authority, not with value or ability.

• A colonel is higher in rank than a private, but that does not necessarily mean that the colonel is a better man than the private. It only means that the colonel has a higher rank and, therefore, more authority.

• “Let all things be done decently and in order” (1 Cor. 14:40) is a principle God follows in His creation. Just as an army would be in confusion if there were no levels of authority, so society would be in chaos without submission. Children should submit to their parents because God has given parents the authority to train their children and discipline them in love. Employees should submit to employers and obey them (Eph. 6:5–8, where the immediate reference is to household slaves, but the application can be made to workers today). Citizens should submit to government authorities, even if the authorities are not Christians (Rom. 13; 1 Peter 2:13–20). (W. W. Wiersbe)

• Submission should not be reduced to subjugation. Submission is recognizing God’s order in the home and the church, and cheerily following Him. When a Christian wife joyfully submits to the Lord and to her own husband, it should bring out the best in her. (To help this to happen, the husband must love his wife and use God’s order as a tool to build with, not a weapon to fight with—Eph. 5:18–33.) Submission is the key to spiritual growth and ministry: husbands should be submitted to the Lord, Christians should submit to each other (Eph. 5:21), and wives should be submitted to the Lord and to their husbands. (W. W. Wiersbe)

• The emphasis in this section (1 Tim. 2:9–15) is on the place of women in the local church. Paul admonished these believing women to give evidence of their submission in several ways.

 MESSAGE: 

The Call to Order Regarding Submission—Women (1 Tim. 2:9–15)

Having discussed the personal requisites of the men who lead in public prayer, the apostle now turns to the things which should characterize the women who are in the congregation at such a time. (W. MacDonald)

One position permits women to occupy a place of prominence and leadership in all public services. They have women preachers, choir directors, and officers. No position is withheld from them and, as a result, the women are not only prominent but we find that they become dominant in the church.^[1]

The other extreme position on this issue is taken by those who do not allow women any place at all in their public services. You never hear the voice of a woman in public in their meetings, not even in singing. I have had opportunity for good ministry among some of these folk, but believe me, they push their women to the background. I fear that they lose a great deal of talent and that the women could make a marvelous contribution if they were permitted to do so.^[2]

Unfortunately, some women find a husband's regard for personal appearance unacceptable and even offensive. Some women will even dress themselves correctly at work, but not for their own husband they claim to love.... In many cases a good husband is trying to protect and provide safety for the women he cherishes as his wife, but is often perceived as too controlling, insecure, or even narcissistic. It makes you wonder about her real motives or desires....

A. Submission Through a Modest Appearance (1 Tim. 2:9).

First, he states that they should adorn themselves in modest apparel….   

Commenting on the words, “in like manner,” Vincent says, “The writer’s thought is still running upon the public assemblies for worship.” The word “adorn” is kosmeō (κοσμεω). The noun is kosmos (κοσμος), the basic meaning of which is “an ordered system, an apt and harmonious arrangement or constitution, order.” ^[3]

These terms stress not so much the absence of sexual suggestiveness, though it is included, but rather an appearance that is simple, moderate, judicious, and free from ostentation.^[4]

We have before us appropriate appearance for women's in church meetings. It is shocking, disturbing, and sexual what people will wear to church anymore. The emphasis presently is on modern fashion and the culture's dictates and not what God requires and specified. So, God gave these enduring guidelines for church meetings....   

           1. A Contrast Between Glamour and Godliness.

o   The Contrast Here Is Between the Artificial Glamour of the World and the True Beauty of a Godly Life. Paul did not forbid the use of jewelry or lovely clothes, but rather the excessive use of them as substitutes for the true inner beauty of “a meek and quiet spirit” (1 Peter 3:1–6). 

o   A Woman Who Depends Only on Externals Will Soon Run Out of Ammunition! She may attract attention now, but she will not win lasting affection in marriage. She will garner sexual interest presently, but no one will want her as a wife or trust her to influence their children and heritage! She has little or no capacity for pursuing the will of Christ for a godly home! Perhaps the latest fashion trends were tempting the women in the church at Ephesus, and Paul had to remind Timothy to warn the women not to get trapped.

o   Paul's Instructions to the Christian Women In Ephesus Must Be Understood in the Larger Contexts.

1.     These women were affected by their personal experiences within Ephesian culture. They would have struggled as much with cultural conditioning as we do. 

2.     Women were not being singled out, nor should these instructions be binding for nonbelievers outside of the church membership. Modesty and self-restraint are for everyone at all times, and these specific principles apply to the churches today.

3.     Possibly, some Christian women in the Ephesian church were trying to gain respect by looking beautiful rather than by becoming Christ-like in character.

4.     In addition, Paul may have been referring to particular styles in Ephesus that were associated with prostitutes in the local temples. Artemis (also called Diana) was the goddess of Ephesus (see Acts 19:28). The festival of Artemis involved wild orgies and carousing. Obviously, Christian women should not look like or even copy the styles of the prostitutes in the temple of Artemis.

o   While There Is Nothing Wrong with Christian Women Wanting to Look Nice, Each Woman Must Examine Her Own Motives.

o   Today's world places great emphasis on external beauty -- exceptionally perfect women stare at us from magazine covers. Beware, there is commercial value in manipulating women to prefer this immediate form of gratification.

o   Christian women, while they can dress nicely and take care of their appearance, must at the same time not let their appearance become all-encompassing, and they must not enhance their appearance merely for “sex appeal” or attention getting.

o   The idea that being an attractive woman is financially profitable is a well-documented phenomenon known in economics as the "beauty premium." Research consistently shows that physical attractiveness can lead to economic advantages, though it also comes with specific nuances and limitations.

o   The financial penalty for being below-average in attractiveness is often harsher than the premium for being above-average, resulting in significantly lower lifetime earnings.-- Daniel Hamermesh, author of Beauty Pays

            2. An Encouragement to Choose Attitudes Over Apparel.

o   The Word “Adorn” Means “To Arrange,” “To Put in Order,” Or “To Make Ready.”

o   A woman is to arrange herself appropriately for the worship service, which includes wearing decent clothing which reflects a properly adorned pure and chaste heart.

o   “By the use of this word, Paul indicates that the adornment of the Christian woman should be one in which order, not disorder, obtains. And this orderliness must not extend merely to the relationship of the various articles of wearing apparel to one another, but also to the relationship of that apparel to her Christian character and testimony. In other words, the apparel must be congruous with, fitting to, and consistent with what she is, a child of God.” --- Wuest, K. S.

o   The Word “Modest” (1 Tim. 2:9) Simply Means “Decent And Orderly.”

o   It is related to the Greek word from which we get the English word “cosmetic.”

o   A woman’s clothing should be decent, orderly, and in good taste for a church meeting and to pray to God.

o   John Chrysostom gives a definition of modest apparel which can scarcely be improved upon:

“And what then is modest apparel? Such as covers them completely and decently, and not with superfluous ornaments; for the one is decent and the other is not. What? Do you approach God to pray with broidered hair and ornaments of gold? Are you come to a ball? a marriage-feast? a carnival? There such costly things might have been seasonable: here not one of them is wanted. You have come to pray, to ask pardon for your sins, to plead for your offences, beseeching the Lord. ... Away with such hypocrisy!”

o   Women must seek an honest reflection of Christ, not the culture where she attends church. The general rule for both women and men emphasizes that both our behavior and dress must express our submission to and respect for Jesus Christ.

o   The word “apparel” conveys the idea of external appearance, principally in dress. It is deportment, as exhibited externally, whether in look, manner, or dress.

o   “Shamefacedness” Literally Means “Modesty, The Avoidance of Extremes and Attention Seeking.”

o   This is the feeling of a beggar or an unfortunate person in the presence of those from whom he seeks assistance, of a younger man toward an older man. Her basis is a fitting view of deficiency, inferiority, or deference—no she is not prideful and arrogant about her appearance. The word is a blend of modesty with humility, a healthy sense of shame and disgrace that does not require validation, confirming flattery, or feedback from others.

o   A woman who possesses this quality is ashamed to go beyond the bounds of what is decent, respectful, appropriate, and proper. It is the opposite of displaying her bodily charms or physical allures to garner attention or to secure interest. She carefully avoids a striking appearance or a shocking jaw dropping flirtatious unbelievable presence.  

o   She stirs clear of whatever would cause her to have a shameful look. Instead, she is rather unnoticeable, unremarkable, and discreet.

o   “Sobriety” Means “Having A Sound Mind and Good Sense.”

o   It describes an inner self-control—a spiritual “radar” that tells a person what is good and proper.

§  “Sobriety” speaks of the entire command of the passions and desires, a self-control that holds the reins over intense desires or cravings.

§  The “fruit of the Spirit” is “temperance,” “self-control,” the virtue of one who masters her desires and passions, especially her sensual appetites.

§  The Christian is not a robot and is expected by God to exercise self-control by a free act of his will, doing this however in the energy which the Holy Spirit supplies to the yielded Christian. It is a happy combination and interworking of the free will of the believer and the grace of God.

o   Sobriety says that a woman will be moderate in her dress.

§  On the one hand, she will not seek to attract attention to herself by expensive, conspicuous fashions. These might tend to provoke admiration or even jealousy from those who should be worshiping God.

§  On the other hand, she should avoid attracting attention to herself by wearing clothes that are drab or old-fashioned. The Scriptures seem to teach a moderate, middle-of-the-road policy regarding clothing.

o   Women's standard for dress was to be characterized by godly character. Paul's appeal here was to good taste and good sense within the culture.

            3. An Instruction to Place Priority on Character and Not Cosmetics.

Women believers were to “dress” their behavior in a manner that complemented rather than clashed with their character.

o   Ephesus Was a Wealthy Commercial City, And Some Women There Competed Against Each Other for Attention and Popularity.

o   In that day expensive hairdos arrayed with costly jewelry were an accepted way to get to the top socially.

o   However, women who worshiped in the Christian churches should not be given to ostentation, costly attire, and excessive adornment.

o   Neither was seductive or sexually suggestive clothing appropriate. They were not to detract from the worship of God by drawing attention to themselves.

o   This Is the Specific Practices That Were Causing Distraction and Discord in the Church.

o   Women in the first century often wove “gold, or pearls,” or other jewelry into their hair styles (“braided hair”) to call attention to themselves and their wealth or beauty.

o   The same was true of those women who wore “costly array” (expensive clothing). By doing so they would draw attention to themselves and away from the Lord, likely causing the poorer women to be envious.

o   Paul’s point was to forbid the preoccupation of certain women with flaunting their wealth and distracting people from worshiping the Lord.

o   Paul Admonished the Christian Women to Major on the “Inner Person,” the True Beauty That Only Christ Can Give.

o   Focusing solely on a woman's physical appearance can lead to superficial connections and blind spots regarding her true character. True attraction requires building a bond that extends far beyond the surface.

o   Paul did not forbid the use of nice clothing or ornaments completely. He urged balance and propriety, with the emphasis on modesty and holy character. The women in the Ephesian congregation were to show their holy attitudes with a modest outward appearance. Paul emphasized that their internal character was far more important than their outward adornment.

o   A carefully groomed and well-decorated exterior is artificial and cold without inner beauty. Scripture does not prohibit a woman from wanting to be attractive. Beauty, however, begins inside a person. A gentle, modest, loving character gives a light to the face that cannot be duplicated by the best cosmetics and jewelry in the world.

o   “It’s Getting Harder and Harder for A Christian Woman to Find the Right Kind of Clothes!” 

A church member complained one summer, “I refuse to wear the kind of swimsuits they’re selling! I simply won’t go swimming. Whatever happened to old-fashioned modesty?” 

Today’s women are being ‘played’ and CHURCH CULTURE is being influenced negatively! It is horrendous and unbelievable what people will wear to church anymore! The love for fast fashion, cosmetics, feminism, materialism, entitlement, freedom, and a general immaturity among young women renders the average person unworthy of marriage, motherhood, planning a future with, or any serious relationship. The average woman in our culture is almost a complete liability to a God-centered man in most respects, and in many cases she is not even interested in learning how to become a good profitable wife. She would rather pretend by selling her body (prostitution) or ‘tricks’, to make it appear she is financially thriving but is instead moneyless and ‘dry begging’ in the ‘streets’ and on social media. In a grasp for her ‘success,’ the worst of men (smooth talkers and flatterers) manipulate and use these delusional women! This behavior persists over years until the average woman is riddled with sexually transmitted infections and diseases, and promiscuously abused (used, forced, coerced, overpowered, or vulnerable). Finally, she is used up, ‘ran through,’ emotionally hardened—bitter, assumes a weird type of awkward masculinity (quirky off beat energy), too old now for any serious consideration, and still she remains fundamentally ignorant of what is really happening. Meanwhile industries surrounding female aesthetics, education, professionalism, politics, and equality will continue to profit and thrive off fast or easy female money—in the name of promise, equality, independence, and self-sufficiency! It is a grand scheme of fantastic manipulation built on her platform of victimhood! Contemporary women need to awaken to the reality that the only real hope is Jesus Christ for salvation and a promising future in Him beyond this world. Many women will sadly ignore this path navigating to their own destruction as a replacement for godly womanhood while still in ‘survival mood.’  

 

---

^[1] J. Vernon McGee, Thru the Bible Commentary, electronic ed., vol. 5 (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1997), 438.

^[2] J. Vernon McGee, Thru the Bible Commentary, electronic ed., vol. 5 (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1997), 439.

^[3] Kenneth S. Wuest, Wuest’s Word Studies from the Greek New Testament: For the English Reader, vol. 7 (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1997), 45–46.

^[4] A. Duane Litfin, “1 Timothy,” in The Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures, ed. J. F. Walvoord and R. B. Zuck, vol. 2 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1985), 735.

Gender Wars and Battles of the Sexes

 

God Created Two Genders—Male and Female

Genesis 1:26-28, And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. ²⁷ So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. ²⁸ And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

This article is concerned with the matter of two genders as the subtitle states, and to visit some of the difficult issues that fuel the battles between the sexes. Yes, I am very aware of highly educated folks claiming there are 63 genders. Some also insist there are about five sexes suggesting a distinction between gender and sex. Truly the disagreement and confusion among those who spout such ideas is more than a mathematician can calculate! I promise not to waste valuable time rehearsing these baseless and truly unscientific notions here. There are enough PhDs out there trying to make a name for themselves exploring something new…different or…full on weird. Biblically speaking, humanity is male and female as the Creator intended and nothing explains this patiently obvious reality better than the Word of God. The Lord Jesus states this at least four thousand years after creation, “And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female” (Matt. 19:4). With this in mind, let us explore this concrete idea that God created two genders—male and female. Then we will look honestly at some precepts of peace in marriage that could end the wars.   

Clearly the Genesis chapter 1 passage gives attention to the origin and roles of the sexes. It explores two questions, “Why did God create two sexes? And the second question is, “Can men and women be equal and yet have different roles?” The fact that God created humanity male and female is self-evident and clearly stated in Genesis 1:27. There is zero notion of an evolutionary process as this is presented as a direct and deliberate origination of humanity. It is also mentioned in Genesis 5:1-2 where Moses asserts that male and female bear the image of God. Male and female shows God’s image in (1) harmonious interpersonal relationship, (2) equality in personhood and importance, and (3) difference in role and authority (Grudem, 1994, p. 454). Four major sub-divisions of the subject of male and female may be addressed here: (A) personal relationships, (B) Equality in personhood and importance, (C) Differences in roles, and (D) the application to marriage. It is beneficial to look at each of these separately.

The personal relationships between male and female tells us that God did not create humanity to live in isolation, but in relationship (Gen. 2:24). Because people bear the image of God, they can enjoy interpersonal unity in different relationships and society. In fact the interpersonal relationships of human beings mirror the fellowship that exists within the company of the Trinity.  Healthy human relationships can show the unity, harmony, and fellowship that exist in the Trinity. This reflects the plurality of Persons as in the Trinity also (Jn. 17:5, 24). So marriage to some degree is designed to illustrate the enduring and harmonious relation in the Trinity (Mal. 2:14-16; Rom. 7:2). This is just one way the Trinity can be reflected in human life.

God’s design of equality in personhood and importance should also be pointed out. Just as the Persons of the Trinity are equal in their full existence and distinct Persons, so it is with men and women. They both are equal in personhood and importance. Male and female are created equally in God’s image and both reflect the character of God (Gen. 1:27; 5:1, 2). The Bible repeatedly emphasis this equality in personhood and importance regarding both sexes (Proverbs 31; Acts 2:17-18). Both are worthy of honor and respect and each individual should be thankful to God for what he made them. In New Testament times, the Lord Jesus was an outstanding advocate of this equality as evidenced in his teachings, illustrations, ministry, and actions toward women. Both are valuable and gifted members of Christ’s body (1Cor. 12:7, 11). Paul in Galatians 3:27, 28 clearly articulates this reality of equality in the church.

Equality, however, does not eliminate the differences in roles laid down in the Scriptures. In the Trinity, the Father has the greatest authority in spite of the fact that He shares equal personality with the Son and the Holy Spirit.  Clearly there are different and non-interchangeable roles within the Godhead. In marriage there must be recognition of authority and submission. Men are granted headship and the responsibility to lead and wives are responsible to submit and follow (1Cor. 11:3).  Also in this connection, there is biblical evidence for the existence of this distinction even before the fall of man. It is not a consequence of the fall, but it is hampered by the fall (Gen. 3:16). This can be substantiated by several observations. First, Adam was created before Eve (Gen. 2:7, 18-23). Secondly, Eve was created as Adam’s help meet or helper and not the other way around (Gen. 2:18). Thirdly, Adam named Eve thus signifying authority over her. Fourthly, God named the human race “Man” and not “woman.” Then fifthly, the serpent came to Eve first to undermine the marriage (Gen. 3). Sixth of all, God addressed Adam first after the fall and not Eve (Gen. 2:15-17). The seventh observation shows that Adam represented the human race and not Eve (Gen. 3:6; 1Cor. 15:22, 49). Eighthly, the curse because of the entrance of sin brought about a distortion of roles and not the introduction of new roles (Gen. 3:16, 18, 19). The woman would desire to rule her husband and the husband would rule over his wife with harshness and insensitivity. This is the consequence of sin. Then lastly, redemption in the Lord Jesus Christ reaffirmed the order of creation (Col. 3:18, 19; Eph. 5:22-33; Titus 2:5; 1Peter 3:1-7).

There are several noteworthy implications for the roles of men and women contained in the phrase “help meet for him” (Gen. 2:18). The first is the stated fact that it is not good for man to be alone (Gen. 2:18) and after God created Eve and brought her to Adam, God viewed this as very good (Gen. 1:31).  The implication is that man is a social creature designed so by God.  In light of this the term help meet means a helper “fit” or “suitable” or even “face to face” to him.  Some define it as ‘corresponding to’ the man. Thus Eve is not merely a helpmate, but a companion who would fulfill the social needs of Adam. 

In this connection, it should be recognized that Ephesians 5:21-33 do not teach a universal mutual submission among Christians as some have concluded. No, Ephesian 5:21 teach us to be submissive to others in the church who are in positions of authority over us. The context and the following verses (Eph. 5:22-6:9) show this to be the correct understanding of the verse. Spirit-filled wives will be submissive to their own husbands, and Spirit-filled children will be submissive to their parents, and Spirit-filled servants will be submissive to their own masters. This order is never reversed, nor diluted by a false idea of mutual submission.

How should we refute the cultural argument against the interpretation of roles in Ephesians 5 and 6? The cultural argument against sound interpretation of the roles prescribed in Ephesians 5 and 6 can be refuted in several ways.  First Paul’s instructions in this passage clearly are enduring; there is no statement or even hint of them becoming obsolete during this present age in God’s economy.  Some may argue that just as slavery has been abolished, so God’s order has changed for women in today’s culture.  They purport that wives in the first century were to submit to their husbands just as slaves in Paul’s day submitted to their masters: out of love for God and their freedom in Christ.  When slavery ended so did the requirement of submission in the wife’s role. But, again there is no such statement in any of the principle texts dealing with marriage that teach God’s order for marriage would not endure. The command to submit to one’s husband is enduring.

Secondly, marriage is a divine institution started and ordered by God directly and throughout revelation he addresses it to influence its course. Slavery is not an institution ordained by God, but rather God sought to regulate it to ensure justice, fairness, and Christian propriety. Slavery is a human invention, but God sought to manage, police and control it to eliminate abuses.  Accordingly, it is the institution of slavery that has been abolished. Is the cultural interpretation advocating abolishing the institution of marriage? Perhaps not by intent, but arguably they indeed are in effect. The elimination of marriage would be the equivalent to the abolishment of slavery, not merely deleting the role of wives’ submission to their husbands. 

Thirdly, the wife is to submit to her husband as unto the Lord and just as the church is subject to Christ (Eph. 5:22-24). These verses present a correlation and parallel to demonstrate the wife’s role to her husband—the church’s submission to the glorious Christ her Head. The analogy will not tolerate manipulation or role reversals. Is Christ still the head of His church? The obvious answer is yes. To reverse the role of the wife to head would also advocate the church assuming the leadership over Christ. No Christian person is prepared to embrace or advocate such a ridiculous proposition. To advocate a change in principle marital roles is equally absurd. 

There will always be cultural influences that invade Christian thinking and disrupt godly values.  However we must not bow to popular ideas to accommodate the culture nor to placate our own desire to avert controversy. The command to submit is enduring, the institution of marriage is divine not human, and the irreversible nature of Christ’s headship over the church advocates a patriarchal society.

So how should the husband exercise his headship in the home? The manner in which a husband fulfills his role of headship in the home must be understood.  He is to love his wife as “Christ love the church” (Eph. 5:25) and “love his wife as his own body” (Eph. 5:28).  He must show the same selfish concern for her welfare that he exhibits toward his own person and is to “nourish and cherish” her just as his physical body.  On the other hand he is to have the same self-sacrificing love for his mate that Christ has for His bride, the church. When a husband is right with God and loves his wife biblically, he treats her in such a kind, considerate, and thoughtful manner that she finds it easy to respect and submit to him as “unto the Lord.” The husband’s primary goal is to emulate the love Christ demonstrates for His bride, the church.  This kind of loving is not just emotional, but an orientation, a chain of choices, a series of actions designed to bring about the wife’s well-being, happiness, and ultimate wholeness.

In addition, husbands are not to be cruel and harsh with their wives, but to love them as Christ loves the church. This certainly makes it easier for a wife to live in submission to her husband. Men are not to be tyrannical or passive. Both extremes drive wives to great frustration! Wives are not to usurp authority over their husbands. This will only buy her resentment and weariness! Wives are not to be totally passive either. Husbands should focus on loving, considerate, and thoughtful leadership in their homes for the glory of Christ. Wives should focus on active, intelligent and joyful submission to their own husbands as unto the Lord Jesus Himself.

Consider another related question…. Why is it important to have a balance in the number of roles played by a husband and wife? Honestly, it is important to have a balance in the number of roles a couple assumes as individuals. The multiplication of roles for both husband and wife will have an adverse impact on the marriage and the family. A husband may be father and bread winner along with a ministry in the church, or a second job or even a volunteer position in the community.  A wife may not only be a mother, and homemaker, but also serve in the church, or even in a PTA or other community functions. The truth is we can handle many different roles successfully, but problems arise when we devote too much time to one role to the gross neglect of others. There is also the possibility of becoming spread too thin; performing many roles but none very well.  Every husband and wife must understand their limitations regarding time, energy, strength and emotional endurance. Though there are many worthy causes, we must develop the ability to say no to many of them. This will allow us to manage fewer roles in a far more meaningful manner, and insure children and spouses receive a healthy amount of interaction. Again God created the sexes to complement each other and to mirror the relationship in the Trinity as the couple shows the image of God in them.

Is it true that “Conflict is inevitable in marriage?” Yes, I can honestly say that conflict is inevitable in marriage. This is true with most couples; confrontations will occur.  There may be disagreement on a certain subject that creates tension, quarrels, and even hostility. Such confrontations may serve a useful purpose in that they force the couple to deal with issues and face problems they otherwise avoid. Since conflict is inevitable, couples must learn how to work through them and develop their communication skills. Strong families have the ability or communication skills to resolve their differences. They are able to talk about them, to share their feelings openly, and come to a resolution of the problem.

Well…what methods may a couples use to solve conflict situations? Several methods could be employed by a couple in conflict resolution…many are quite obvious. Having certain guidelines for arguing may prove to be very helpful if the couple has the discipline to stick to them in the heat of battle. The first step is to get to the base of the issue or source of the problem. Then once the fundamental issue has been understood, then the couple must explore the motive. Is it an ego problem? Or is this evidence of an inferiority complex? Maybe it’s an attempt to strike back or seize control through some form of manipulation. Once the problem has been discovered and discussed, the couple can now explore viable solutions to permanently settle the issue.  In additions once the problem is solved it is not to be brought up again in future quarrels.

There are other helpful approaches couples could use with some success and hope.  For example they should avoid attacking the others personality. Being familiar with their strengths and weaknesses means we possess an arsenal of ammunitions to damage our mate. Do not succumb to this temptation! Another tactic is to realize that some times are more appropriate for discussing problems than others.  One should never air differences when others are present, when one is tired, or when hungry. These will only escalate the problem when better timing would have been an aid in resolution.  Some families tackle problems as they come up and others have a set family conference time to deal with such conflicts. One of the most important things a couple must learn is how to compromise when this is a viable option.  Sometimes a couple must simply agree to disagree, but genuinely respect the other’s point of view.  Differences can also be resolved by assimilation—accepting the view of the other.  Always bear in mind that many problems can be solve through careful analysis.  Conflicts will occur, this we can be sure of.  In light of this each couple must develop skills and procedures to overcome disagreements and conflicts.  Instead of these becoming destructive, they can be used as constructive vehicles of growth and enrichment.

As noted earlier, God created two distinct genders, male and female are created equally in God’s image and yes, both sexes reflect the character of God as individuals and in relationship (Gen. 1:27; 5:1, 2). Clearly, the verses we have highlighted here repeatedly emphasis this equality in personhood and importance regarding both sexes (Proverbs 31; Acts 2:17-18). Conflicts will occur and disagreements can be work through. The more the character of Christ marks us the more capable we will be at working through the wars and disagreements. However, the more we allow our fickle culture to influence our thinking the more conflict and disharmony will escalate. Again, the Scriptures insist that both genders are worthy of honor and respect and each individual should thank God for what he made them.

Who Is Targeting America's Youth?

Ever wondered why American youth behave as they do? Could there be a link between their behavior and the advertising industry? According to the article “The Influence of Advertising,” some marketing professionals psychologically manipulate children to increase product appeal and bolster sales (http://www.squidoo.com). In the intensely competitive capitalistic society of America, advertising is a multi-billion dollar (http://www.apa.org) industry and an essential element of business and consumerism. Through various media outlets—television, magazines, the Internet, radio, movies, textbooks, and smartphones—youths are bombarded with slick and powerful appeals (http://www.wakingtimes.com). Children’s natural trust, gullibility, curiosity, absence of objectivity, and lack of critical thinking skills, renders them dangerously vulnerable to marketing manipulations and exploitations. Resultantly, advertising negatively sways American youths encouraging choices detrimental to their nutritional, behavioral, and moral well being. Yes, American youths are not only the targets of many advertising schemes, but also the unwitting casualties in the battles for product sales, and lifelong patronage.

Consider firstly the fast food industry and the negative impact of advertising on the nutritional choices of America’s young people. Obesity and relative inactivity among youths are serious and growing concerns according to the American Psychological Association (http://www.apa.org). They directly attribute these developments to children’s excessive exposure to fast food advertising by stating,

The childhood obesity epidemic is a serious public health problem that increases morbidity, mortality, and has substantial long term economic and social costs. The rates of obesity in America’s children and youth have almost tripled in the last quarter century. Approximately 20% of our youth are now overweight with obesity rates in preschool age children increasing at alarming speed.... Research has found strong associations between increases in advertising for non-nutritious foods and rates of childhood obesity (http://www.apa.org).

Accordingly an article entitled, “The Influence of Advertising” reported, “Some experts indicate that the average American child views over 40,000 television commercials each year” (http://www.squidoo.com). Because America’s young people, “ages 8 to 18,” are being bombarded by fast food commercials from many media outlets and spend more than 44 hours a week engaging the media, obesity has become a national concern (http://www.squidoo.com). 

Figure 1
Source: Covington, W.

Secondly, advertising that glamorizes alcohol has detrimentally influenced lifestyle choices among American youths. The pervasive nature of advertising literally inundates young people with unhealthy ads promoting the use of beer, distilled spirits, and wines (http://pediatrics.aappublications.org). Such exposure likely stimulates and drives early teenagers’ infatuation with alcohol. According to John’s Hopkins Bloomberg School of Health, about 4,700 young people die annually from “excessive alcohol consumption” (http://www.camy.org).  In an article entitled, “Exposure of African American Youth to Alcohol Advertising,” the same university reported, “Alcohol is the most widely used drug among African-American youth and contributes to many health and social problems, including violence, motor vehicle crashes, and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases” (http://www.camy.org). Another critical point they highlighted was the link between African-American youth drinking and advertisements that target them. They write,

At least 14 longitudinal studies have found a significant association between youth exposure to alcohol marketing and underage drinking, even after controlling for other factors that could potentially influence this relationship (e.g., socioeconomic status and parenting style). Specifically, these studies have found that youth exposure to alcohol marketing can increase the likelihood that young people will start drinking at younger ages, and, if they already consume alcohol, that they will drink more, increasing the risk of alcohol-attributable harms (http://www.camy.org).

Research demonstrates that African-Americans are targeted, subjected to, and overexposed to alcohol advertisements considerably more than other ethnic groups. In fact, the Center on Alcohol Marketing and Youth observed that there is excessive exposure to alcohol through various media outlets within these same communities through radio, billboards, and in magazines (http://www.camy.org). Non-discerning young people take what they see in the media as portrayals of reality. Consequently, they are violently misled by the marketing exploits of the alcohol industry.

Figure 2
Source: Zastrow, C.

Thirdly, advertising unfavorably effects morality, social values, and the culture of American youth. The power of the media and advertising cannot be over stated. Commercials address every facet of life promoting products and creating a perception of value for the potential child customer.  Appealing to the natural desire for significance, they present their toys, games, cars, clothing brands, athletic footwear, accessories, sexy bodies, and soft drinks promising they will make the consumer most special. Appealing to the basic desire to belong and feel love, they parade a seductive concoction of cosmetics, perfumes, jewelry, colognes, spirits, beers, fashion products, and sex (http://www.studymode.com) before their audience virtually guaranteeing universal acceptance if one buys their product. This is done in the hope of lifelong patronage. Their marketing strategies include frequent appeals, product popularity, celebrity endorsement, sensuality, narcissistic indulgence, product placement, and peer pressure. Such ploys are launched anticipating an industry return of nearly one trillion dollars in sales (http://www.aef.com). They appeal directly to children and indirectly through children to parents. Everything from toys, food, magazines, and video games to recreational sex (http://wiki.answers.com) are pandered to non-suspecting youths. Many advertisements invent value for the customer through subtle exaggerations or entire fabrications. Consequently, these morale and social values are projected into the culture shaping and fashioning young consciences. Often this transpires daily; preoccupied parents are disengaged while the advertising industry weaves the fabric of their children’s morals. The saddest truth in all of this is the ‘reality’ marketed to young people is an empty lie and will prove to be disillusioning and frustrating throughout their lives.

Figure 3
Source: Zastrow, C.

Though the intention of the American advertising industry is to sell products in a completely saturated and competitive market, American youth are the unwitting casualties. As the industry strategizes to secure lifelong patrons, youths are daily blasted with advertisements influencing them to choose against their nutritional health. The unintended consequence is escalating childhood obesity. Alluring ads and commercials aimed at teens glamorize the use of alcohol and launch young people into lifestyles plagued with social problems, irresponsibility, and violence. The impact of advertising on the moral values and cultural attitudes of young people is not to be down-played. A culture of materialism, greed, selfishness, consumerism, and sex saturation has been spawned and the forecast for the future is woeful if the trend continues unchallenged. Parents must take charge of their young people’s interaction with much of the advertising industry. One key to restoring perspective, wholesome values, critical thinking, and equilibrium to the lives of young people is their parents shielding them from the barrage of advertisements in many media outlets.

References

Advertising to children (2005). Retrieved March 12, 2013 from the Advertising Educational Foundation website: http://www.aef.com/on_campus/classroom/speaker_pres/data/3005

Committee on Communications (2006, December). Children, adolescence, and advertising. Pediatrics: Official Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics 118(6), 2563 -2569. doi:10.1542/peds.2006-2698  

Covington, W. (2012, November). [Magazine cover] Stone cold marketing to young African Americans. The Sacramento Observer/ The SacOberserver.com. Retrieved March 15, 2013 from: http://sacobserver.com/2012/11/stone-cold-marketing-selling-alcohol-to-young-african-americans/ (Figure 1)

Dayanahmz (2012, March). Morality and ethicality of using sexual advertising: “effects on teens segment”. Retrieved March 14, 2013 from StudyMode website: http://www.studymode.com/ essays/Morality-And-Ethicality-Of-Using-Sexual-945276.html      

Dittmann, M. (2004, June). Protecting children from advertising. Monitor on Psychology, 35(6). (Print version: p. 58). Retrieved March 14, 2013 from the American Psychological Association website: http://www.apa.org/monitor/jun04/protecting.aspx

Gottesdiener, L. (2013, March). 7 highly disturbing trends in junk food advertising to children. AlterNet.   Retrieved March 15, 2013 from http://www.wakingtimes.com/2013/03/15/7

Impact of food advertising on childhood obesity. Retrieved March 13, 2013 from the American Association of Psychology website: http://www.apa.org/topics/kids-media/food.aspx?item=2

Musemeche , C. (2012, July). Ban on advertising to children linked to lower obesity rates. The New York Times. Retrieved March 16, 2013 from: http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com /2012/07/13/ban-on-advertising-to-children-linked-to-lower-obesity-rates/

The Center on Alcohol Marketing and Youth (2010). Exposure of African-American youth to alcohol advertising, 2008 and 2009. Retrieved March 13, 2013 from: John’s Hopkins University website: http://www.camy.org/research/ Exposure_of_African_American_Youth_to_Alc_Advertising_08_09/

The Center on Alcohol Marketing and Youth (2010). Youth exposure to alcohol advertising on television, 2001-2009. (Special report). Retrieved March 13, 2013 from The John Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health website: http://www.camy.org/research/  Youth_Exposure_to_Alcohol_Ads_on_TV_Growing_Faster_Than_Adults/index.html

The influence of advertising. (2012, April). Retrieved March 13, 2013 from: http://www.squidoo.com

What is the impact of television advertisement on youth?  Retrieved March 12, 2013 from: Answers.com: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_impact_of_television_ advertisement_on_youth  

Zastrow, C. (2009, July). Paris Hilton: Cosmogirl [magazine cover] A long-pent-up rant against youth marketing. Retrieved March 16, 2013 from http://www.learningfirst.org/long-pent-rant-against-youth-marketing (Figure 2)

Zastrow, C. (2009, July). Paris Hilton: Seventeen [magazine cover] A long-pent-up rant against youth marketing. Retrieved March 16, 2013 from http://www.learningfirst.org/long-pent-rant-against-youth-marketing (Figure 3)