It Is Still Wise to Wait on God!

Waiting on God? Feeling a little awkward while trying to patiently anticipate the LORD's timing? Every Believer has been there once or twice. Our minds race back and forth between doubts, fears, and perplexities, and we can literally feel our hearts pounding away with anxiety. The Psalmist of Israel understood this kind of tension and concludes Psalm 27 with the wise counsel, “Wait on the LORD: Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: Wait, I say, on the LORD” (Ps. 27:14). He emphasizes patience before the Lord and stresses the importance of waiting confidently in anticipation of His aid, provision, direction, protection, wisdom, and blessing. Waiting is an activity that requires real courage and commitment. This is especially true in moments of danger, threat, uncertainty, and pressure. Without such courage, we are inclined to faint, lose heart, and reach for some quick fix ‘solution’ that will only exacerbate our situation. In the end our independent actions will actually increased our level of anxiety, stress, and regret. "O', why didn't I wait? Why was I in such a hurry? If only I knew then what I know now…."

Perhaps you can recall uttering those very words and now merely reading them brings back some serious regrets related to hasty decisions. I understand and you are not alone. Far too many young people experimented with drugs and alcohol just trying to be cool and fit in. Now they are dependent on these substances, and others being penniless are selling their bodies to get their next fix. The list of teenagers and college students who lost their virginity in the heat of passion, to keep a boyfriend, or to be viewed as a player is far too long. Now STDs has forced them to rethink some things. Who can number the couples who rushed into marriage unprepared only to later stomp off to divorce court filled with a sense of failure. For yet others it is their overwhelming debt, poor career choices, conflicting priorities, or a decision to reject the college option and just find a job. Now they have fewer and fewer options as technology and the job market demand higher/advanced training, skills, expertise, and specialization. The lists of regrets, sorrows, pains, and frustrations are long and continue to multiply every moment! In my ministry I meet people all the time who would do a lot of things differently if they could change the past. In the interest of complete transparency, I have longed for a few ‘do-overs’ myself. Regret related to hasty decisions is a painful look in the mirror, but it is extremely necessary! Such mistakes can be learned from. We need God to help us make decisions; though it is uncomfortable admitting this, it is never-the-less true.

The opposite of haste is patience and another way of defining patience is endurance or perseverance. Zero patience equals quitting, not enduring--giving up. A quick escape from the pressures may appear expedient in the heat of the tension, but these decisions typically set us back further. There is always some detail, element, or insight we failed to calculate or consider. Dr. J. Vernon McGee agrees that the cure for a fainting/quitting heart is confident anticipation as we wait on the Lord saying,

There is a lot of heart trouble today among believers. It is known as faintheartedness, or the coward’s heart. All of us have a little touch of it. How can this be cured? “Wait on the LORD; be of good courage.” When we do that the Lord will strengthen our hearts. He is really the great heart specialist. (Thru the Bible with J. Vernon McGee)

So, that uncomfortable awkwardness that settles upon us when we are waiting for the Lord to come through is a potential ‘fainting’ spell. If it persists unchecked by courageous faith in the Lord, we will opt to rush into something without praying and thinking it through. We need the Lord’s strength to endure and patiently wait while He works out His timing and excellent plans. We can be assured that He is not incompetent or too ignorant to work providentially on our case. We can always rest assured that He is working out His good, acceptable, and perfect will (Rom. 12:1, 2).

The nature of God’s timing requires that we practice trust—He does not honor our timetables necessarily. His ways and timing are higher and far more comprehensive than ours tend to be. As a result, we must decidedly resist the temptation to jump ahead before receiving the Spirit’s direction. Running ahead of God never ceases to be a concern for us Christians in our walk with the Lord. Each of us must diligently examine our motivations before we act. By cultivating an attitude of patient waiting while looking to the Lord for guidance, we can give God control over the direction of our lives (James 4:13-17). Are you waiting and wondering what your next step should be? Be patient. Do not jump ahead—trust God’s timing.

According to James 4:13-17, some of us mistakenly make plans without first consulting with the Lord. At times we are aware of this gross failure and on other occasions we allow for certain shifts in priorities. Of course selfishness is not at all shy about taking care of number one! In contrast, the Lord would have us make plans with a great  deal more humility and submission to His will. The following are some common ways we talk about the future and make our plans, while leaving God out (not original):

i.          When we describe retirement in selfish terms as our time to enjoy the fruits of our labors.

ii.          When we see work and careers as ways we can make money in order to buy what we want.

iii.         When we define money as a symbol of independence.

iv.         When we imagine ourselves in control of major areas of life under the rationalization that God is not interested in such mundane matters.

v.         When we make practical decisions about education, job changes, moving, investments, and spending—all without serious prayer.

In humility (Ps. 25:9) and submission to the will of God we formulate and execute the plans we believe will please Him. Planning is not wrong in and of itself, but planning without consulting God or waiting on His direction is. Replace that awkward feeling with a patient anticipation of God’s guidance by trusting Him to deliver in His timing. Resist the temptation to permit fears, pressures, pride, our priorities, others, and our plans to rush our decisions. Remember things would have been different if Eve had waited on Adam before taking the fatal bite. The Middle-East would be different if only Abraham and Sarah had waited on God—that Hagar and Ismael thing has not worked out so great for Israel.

In order to recover from regrets and the related guilt we need to seek God’s forgiveness (1Jn. 1:9). At the heart of the Christian faith is the promise of forgiveness and healing. Yes, though we often do not mean to, we fail our Lord and miss His plan for us. The reality of our guilt and of God's provision of forgiveness in Jesus Christ is woven throughout the biblical text. God's Word tells us that when we acknowledge our sins and turn from them, God forgives us.

·        Proverbs 28:13-14,  He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy. [14] Happy is the man that feareth alway: but he that hardeneth his heart shall fall into mischief.

·        Jeremiah 31:34, And they shall teach no more every man his neighbour, and every man his brother, saying, Know the Lord: for they shall all know me, from the least of them unto the greatest of them, saith the Lord; for I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more.

Yes, but how do I let go of the past? Once you have requested God's forgiveness, the next and vital step toward being free from guilt is to let go of your past. In the course of my ministry, I have met countless people who are haunted by their sins. They have not been able to forgive themselves and let go of their past (Stanley). There may be consequences or responsibilities that we need to address, but God's forgiveness is assured repeatedly. 

The Bible tells us that once we have repented of our sins, God both forgives them and forgets them (see Isa. 43:25). It is not the Lord, therefore, who reminds us of past sins that we have already confessed to Him. Rather, it is the one whom the Bible calls the “accuser of our brethren,” the devil (Rev. 12:10). When we are confronted with images or memories of sins we have already confessed to God, it is time to say, “I refuse to accept these thoughts. God has already forgiven me of that. I am letting this go right on by. Devil, you'll have no hold on my mind.” (Stanley) The next time the devil reminds you of your past, remind him of his future!

·        Isaiah 43:25, I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins.

·        Psalm 103:11-14, For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him. [12] As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us. [13] Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear him. [14] For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust.

By the grace and wisdom of God’s Word put the past behind you and look to the Lord anew to direct your path. The forgiveness God offers is real and substantial; fully accept it and walk in the reality of a forgiven past. Pursue His plans for your life once again. Wait on the Lord; look to Him continually through His Word and His Spirit. Accept His priorities; embrace them as your personal mandates. No excuses for refusing His directions. Trust the Lord to come through on His terms and according to His timing. It has well been said, "He may not come when we want Him to, but He is always on time!" Also remember, an apparent delay from God is not automatically a denial from Him. God is busy arranging and orchestrating a complete answer that not only satisfies our needs, but also each life that our life will touch. He is quite comprehensive in His marvelous workings—respect and highly value this truth. As you wait on God, He will give you a heart strong enough to embrace His timing and plan. Always bear in mind that it is still wise to wait on God. If you decide to do so, you will avoid some of the regrets, pains, and frustrations that accompany hasty decisions. May you always walk in the grace and beauty of God’s perfect plan!

Forgiving is Liberating

An unforgiving spirit is an issue that nearly all of us grapple with at some point in life. An unforgiving attitude that remains unchallenged can only have a detrimental impact on our lives. If it is permitted to remain in our spirits, it will increase its thorny irritations. Its influence will eventually multiply our pain and wreak spiritual and relational destruction (Stanley, 1996). Some consider it to be the major source of many physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual problems we see today.

Two thousand years ago the apostle Paul wrote this Spirit-filled prescription to the Ephesian Church to help them prevent these vary same consequences:

Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: [32] And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you (Eph. 4:31–32).

Paul was describing the manifestations of an “unforgiving spirit” when he spoke of bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking. An unforgiving spirit goes beyond a temporary unforgiving attitude, which is the period in the life of a Christian between the time a person is hurt and the time he forgives the one who has hurt him (Stanley, 1996). An unforgiving spirit develops when we choose to remain in an unforgiving state toward a person who has wronged us.

An unforgiving spirit is summed up in this remark: “I don't think I could ever forgive that.” Such a person may feel justified in making this statement because forgiveness seems unreasonable for some offenses. We may feel we have been dealt with in such an unjust, unfair, unwarranted, and harmful way that we cannot let go of the pain (Stanley, 1996). Clearly, we need to face the fact that we all will be hurt. We have been hurt, are hurting now, or are going to be hurt by somebody in some area. The only way we can insulate ourselves against being hurt is removing ourselves completely from the possibility of love. To risk love is to risk hurt. Hurt is unavoidable, but we can deal with pain. No pain is too deep or too widespread to be beyond the power of God’s forgiveness working in and through us. Being unforgiving is a choice we make with the will, and it’s a bad choice (Stanley, 1996). Be warned, old hurts cannot be ignored; they do not simply evaporate. We must forgive those who have hurt us to obey the Lord, and to prevent personal destruction and shipwreck.

Thus we need to consider five areas related to Forgiveness in a two part series:

·                    What is Forgiveness? (Luke 7:39-43)

·                    What is an Unforgiving Spirit? (Luke 6:27-31, 35-37)

·                    Why Can’t I Forgive? (Mark 7:20-23)

·                    Why Should I Become Forgiving? (Heb. 12:14-17)

·                    Where Do I Begin? (Mark 11:25-26)

What is Forgiveness?

The answer to our first question can be found in Luke 7:39-43. Basically, to forgive is to set someone free or release them from an obligation. The best place to begin is to consider the meaning of forgiveness. What does forgiveness mean? In Luke 7:40-43, the Lord Jesus unveils the key concepts of forgiveness:

And Jesus answering said unto him, Simon, I have somewhat to say unto thee. And he saith, Master, say on. [41] There was a certain creditor which had two debtors: the one owed five hundred pence [500 days wages for a Laborer], and the other fifty [50 days wages for a Laborer]. [42] And when they had nothing to pay, he frankly forgave them both. Tell me therefore, which of them will love him most? [43] Simon answered and said, I suppose that he, to whom he forgave most. And he said unto him, Thou hast rightly judged.

It is from this vital passage we learn that forgiveness is an act of liberating, or releasing (Luke 7:41-42). Forgiveness is “the act of setting someone free from an obligation to you that is a result of a wrong done against you” (Stanley, 1996). Furthermore,

Forgiveness is an act of the will. Forgiveness involves both attitudes and actions. If you find it difficult to feel forgiving of those who have hurt you, try responding with kind actions. If appropriate, tell such people that you would like to heal your relationships. Give them a helping hand. Send them a gift. Smile at them. Many times you will discover that right actions lead to right feelings (The Handbook of Bible Application).

It is also important to see that forgiveness involves three elements. In begins with an injury or offense, “they had nothing to pay.” A wrong is committed. As a result an injury, pain, hurt, suffering, or guilt is experienced (consciously or subconsciously). Then a debt resulting from the injury follows, “a certain creditor which had two debtors.” There is a consequence that is always detrimental and puts someone into a deficit state of some kind. They are obligated because of their failures, offensive activities, or actions against another. Finally, there is a cancellation of the debt, “he frankly forgave them both.” (See also Luke 7:47-48)

All three elements are involved in forgiveness of all types—forgiveness by God, and forgiveness of others. When Jesus Christ died on the Cross of Calvary He paid for all of our sins. He did not and does not require us to pay for any of our sins. When He paid the entire debt for sin the matter was settled forever. When we realize that we have nothing for which to pay for our sins, then He will forgive us sinners and cancel our obligations to a Holy God with regard to sins and our offenses against Him. 

We as Believer should be forgiving much like our Savior has forgiven us. He has completely released us from any obligations to Him concerning our offensive sins against Him. Likewise we should release others from any obligations to ourselves when they have hurt us. We are to forgive, release them, and literally set them free. We should no longer require anything of them! Not even an apology from them, and certainly not demanding begging and pleading of them to return to our good graces! We don’t hold the violation over their heads and we certainly don’t try to increase their pain or cause them to suffer in anyway because they have hurt us. This kind of commitment will greatly help any of our relationships.

Secondly, consider the magnitude of forgiveness. Luke 7:42, says “And when they had nothing to pay, he frankly forgave them both.” Forgiveness is important because it sets them and us free, yet the world is filled with unforgiving people. Perhaps thoughtful consideration of the magnitude and benefits of a forgiving spirit will be helpful and persuasive. A resolve to be forgiving is quite favorable and far reaching.

A grand benefit is the realization that forgiveness frees us from suffering. People who do not forgive are suffering greatly. There is a festering wound in the soul. There is a wall in the spirit that keeps them imprisoned. They may not recognize that they are in an unforgiving state. But in many cases, people who feel frustrated, upset, burdened, impatient, out of control, angry, jealous, bitter, agitated, uptight, in turmoil, are suffering from an unforgiving spirit.

Another wonderful blessing is the fact that forgiveness brings freedom to walk in the Spirit. The apostle Paul’s counsel to the Ephesian Church was,

And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. [31] Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: [32] And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you (Eph. 4:30-32).

You see it brings with it the manifestation of “the fruit of the Spirit:” love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance (Gal. 5:22–23). You see an unforgiving spirit stifles a person’s ability to love and to receive love. It stunts the growth of a marriage or a friendship. An unforgiving attitude keeps a person from experiencing all that the Lord might have for him in the way of ministry or outreach. It keeps a person from enjoying the full abundant life that Christ promised. God’s desire is for you to experience complete forgiveness, which is forgiveness of your sins and a full restoration in your relationship to the Lord God, and forgiveness of others who have wronged you. Knowing the Lord Jesus is experiencing real freedom. Jesus himself is the truth that sets us free. John 8:36, states, “If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.” Knowing Jesus is freedom from the power of sin. Sin has a way of enslaving us, controlling us, dominating us, and dictating our actions. Jesus can free you from this slavery that keeps you from becoming the person God created you to be. If sin is restraining, mastering, or enslaving you, Jesus can break its power over your life.

Also forgiveness brings us freedom to serve our Lord. Notice again the words of the wise apostle, “Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage (Galatians 5:1). Also in Galatians 5:13, he said “For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.” Freedom in Christ is the freedom to serve. Christ died to set us free from sin including an unforgiving attitude. Thanks to Christ, we are now free and able to do what was impossible before–to live unselfishly—this includes giving the gift of forgiveness to others. We must stand against the temptation of justifying our unforgiving attitudes and thereby stunting our service to Christ. Serving and loving others has to do with valuing them, respecting them, being merciful toward them, wanting good things for them, being concerned for their welfare, and caring about them. Naturally this will involve many occasions to forgive them also. It is imperative that we seek God’s help to change and to make amends with the people who have hurt us.

What is an Unforgiving Spirit?

God gives us an answer to this important question in Luke 6:27-31, 35-37. The short answer is an unforgiving spirit is a form of hatred. That may sound a bit odd, but the Lord Jesus clarifies the issue for us.

Notice that an unforgiving spirit is actually a manifestation of hatred in a heart. We can see this in our Lord’s words when He describes love in various benevolent actions. Among those He mentions forgiveness. In Luke 6:27-31, the Lord Jesus advised,

But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, [28] Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you. [29] And unto him that smiteth thee on the one cheek offer also the other; and him that taketh away thy cloke forbid not to take thy coat also. [30] Give to every man that asketh of thee; and of him that taketh away thy goods ask them not again. [31] And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.

Again these are agape-love responses to unfairness, various abuses, mistreatment and gross inconveniences. This is how our Lord expects us to respond when experiencing these flagrant inequities. Then in Luke 6:35-37, He does not soften His language nor reduce His expectations for His genuine disciples. He further counsels,

But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil. [36] Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful. [37] Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven: 

While our natural minds are repulsed viewing these lofty requirements as too demanding, our Lord prescribes them with complete authority. Make no mistake about it, these commands can only be obeyed in the energy of the Spirit and He produces godly love in the Believer’s experience (Gal. 5:22). Therefore, according to this passage to love our enemies is to help meet their needs, show them kindnesses, and mercies, remain nonjudgmental toward them, and forgive their offenses. The opposite of loving our enemies is to refuse to assist them with their legitimate needs, withhold kindnesses, hold on tightly to old grudges, condemn them out rightly while questioning their motives, and withhold forgiveness from them. Beloved, this is pure hatred in action! An unforgiving spirit is one manifestation of a hate-filled heart.

If these forms of hatred describe you, then you have an unforgiving spirit. I know that may have felt a bit harsh and confrontational, but facing this reality is the first step to victory over a hardened heart of disobedience and unbelief. “Oh, I don't hate anybody” you may say. By such a statement, you probably mean that you would not murder anybody or do anything intentionally to harm another person (Stanley, 1996). But ask yourself these questions, do I avoid encountering a certain person? Do I find it difficult to speak well of a certain person? Does the very thought of a particular person make me cringe or clench my fist? If your answer is yes, you are harboring hatred in the form of an unforgiving attitude.

Unmistakably, hatred does exist in degrees. Not all forms of hatred are of identical strength or potency. Certainly all are sinful and displeasing to the Lord Jesus who commanded us to respond in love instead of reacting in hatred. An unforgiving spirit is marked by hatred, and we know we have such a spirit if:

·                    We cannot shake the painful memory of a hurt done to us.

·                    We cannot honestly wish the offending person well.

·                    We want the other person to feel pain, suffering, and hurt to the degree we believe we have felt it.

If this describes you, face up to the facts! You have a degree of hatred in your heart for that person, and you are possessed of an unforgiving spirit. There is no point or benefit in denying what the Spirit of the Living God is saying to you. You have an unforgiving spirit—a tendency to withhold pardon and a propensity to hang on to grudges and grievances. If we take the Lord Jesus’ counsel seriously, then there is no other possible conclusion we can come to.

In addition, an unforgiving spirit spawns negative consequences. You see an unforgiving spirit will take one of two forms in our lives. Either we will stuff our pain deep inside our hearts and keep it bottled up, where it will turn to bitterness and resentment, or we will actively seek to retaliate against the person, taking vengeance in our own hands to repay the wrong done to us. Either way, we will be the prisoner of our unforgiving attitude; we will suffer far more than the person who has wronged us. The damage to our fellowship with God, relationships with others, and within our own souls will be exponential.

But, praise the Lord there is a way out of this condition!  You can follow our Lord’s wise advice and choose to forgive the person. Nobody can make you have an unforgiving heart. Again, it is an act of your will, a choice that you make. You can choose by your will to forgive.

Finally, an unforgiving spirit ignores Christ’s clear commands to forgive. Not only should you choose this route for your health and well-being, but you are commanded by the Lord to make this choice (Eph. 4:31–32). We must take this seriously in order to be right with our Lord. Understand that God’s commandments are always for our good, and this one is no exception. Jesus plainly taught, “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: [15] But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matt. 6:14–15). Our fellowship with God is jeopardized when we harbor sin in our hearts. Nothing is more important than walking with and pleasing our Lord. The fact remains, if you want to experience God’s forgiveness, you must forgive others. Again Mark echoes same thought in 11:25-26 saying,

And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. [26] But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses. 

The Lord would have us traverse this life without the weight and consequences of bitter grudges (See Matt. 18:21, 22, 35). In obedience to Christ Jesus, lay this burden down. Choose to forgive. Free your offender that you also may be liberated as well.