God's Order for Husbands (Part IV)

“God’s Order for Husbands” 

1 PETER 3:7

SUBJECT: SUBMISSION AND MARRIAGE

THEME: Each believing husband is to submit to God’s order in his marriage.

RELEVANCE: the best husband first views his marriage as an expression of his submission to the Lord. Abandoning the ‘traditional,’ ‘romantic,’ and ‘institutional’ models of marriage he freely clings to God’s Order. He is not loyal to his wife primarily nor worldly models; the Christian husband is devoted to Christ first—above all. He fully submits to Christ’s authority in his life and seeks to guides his family accordingly.

INTRODUCTION:

God commands husbands to “honor” their wives not only because of their physically vulnerable, but also as spiritual equals before Him. Like you, your wife enjoys a relationship and access through Christ to our heavenly Father. Our wives should not be viewed automatically as spiritually weaker or inferior. Remember the modern women liberation movement has not accomplished any advances for modern women in general. In fact, many women have been gravely degraded and some ruined under the pretense of ‘freedom’ and independence. While most men have lost their way…confused by the modern emphasis on female ‘liberation,’ and generally uncertain about a man’s role going forward. Then with multiple social media outlets nowadays, men fear being mischaracterized as a ‘creep’ or ‘preying on women’ in an ill-advised video post.  

MESSAGE:

III.  RESPECT HER IDENTICAL SPIRITUAL RAPPORT 1 Pet. 3:7, … “and as being heirs together of the grace of life”

It is true husbands and wives needed this kind of instruction in the first century and certainly we need it today. Women were not treated like God prescribed in the NT and husbands were not viewed with the responsibilities God identified in this and similar passages. We make a grave mistake when we conclude “Christianity” is responsible for holding back women and progress. Remember God’s order was totally foreign against the first century cultural backdrop…the social context in which the NT was written. According to the NT, wives were treated with love, honor, respect, and dignity by their husbands. This was unheard of in every other religion or practice in the entire world!

The modern matrimonial ideas cannot be taken as ‘Christian’ simply because they really are not. God did not and does not author this type of behavior. We ‘worship’ God only and not wives or husbands—God has never referred to the role of a ‘wife’ as a “queen” or ‘goddess’ nor the role of a ‘husband’ as a “king.” ‘Things that are different are not the same!’ My beliefs are that these misconceptions are carnal philosophies invented by confused, insecure, and puzzled people. Folks who feel intitled to grander privileges instead of concentrating on their service to God and their families is a feature of modern ‘Christianity’ in many sectors. Again, God is not responsible for this confusion, the devil is!

One cultural mistake is basic inequality of personhood based on genders. This flawed view holds that men have greater value than women or men have more rights than women. Another idea is that women are naturally inferior to men. These are just a few of the cultural ideas that have at times snuck their way into “Christian” thinking, but God did not say this ever! These common ‘gender wars’ have ensued for millennia without real winners…in fact, every culture that embraces these wrong ideas loses. Remember, saved women and men will receive rewards at the Judgment Seat of Christ that will result in awarding various positions during the Kingdom Age. The Lord Jesus as the Judge will not make these false distinctions based on gender. “Good,” “faithful,” and “servant” (Matt. 25:21-23, 34, 47; Luke 12:41-48) will be the heart of the criteria and not a believers’ gender. Those who use their gifts and opportunities responsibly will be generously rewarded. It is wonderfully conceivable and probable that many Christian women will be rewarded with elevated positions and important new roles during the Kingdom Age. We need to refocus onto God’s criteria!

Physically women are typically ‘weaker,’ they have always been…women were never intended to be men! Praise God; life is not meant to be a competition!!! Women should never be expected to perform like men…the criterion for a woman is very different from the criterion of a man. So, the average woman does not have the physical strength of the average man, but that’s about it. Women in general are supposed to be more emotional, soft, receptive, and nurturing! Spiritual equality is presented from God’s perspective and Christian husbands are called to recognize this component by accepting her identical value. God champions interdependency regarding the two genders (1 Cor. 11:11-12); such mutual reliance demonstrates God’s general design for people, but not necessarily ideas of gender independence or superiority.

1. She is a Joint heir with You. V. 7, “being heirs together of the grace of life”

What is “the grace of life”? Husbands along with their wives are joint “heirs” of God’s divine favor in eternal life, salvation! They share redemption together, so spouses are equal in their spiritual standing. Couples are designed to honor each other, inherit this grace, recognize each other as spiritual partners, and ensure our prayers are not rejected. Marriage then is an opportunity to experience grace together also, rather than only as individuals. These ongoing, gracious blessings of salvation are experienced in vital fellowship with God.

It would be correct to recall that this measure of equality is uniquely a Christian idea; generally, women were not spiritual or social equals in the first century in Greco-Roman and Jewish cultures. In contrast, the Lord Jesus treated women with unusual dignity and respect; his actions, ideals, and teachings influenced the early churches to do likewise. This is just one place where the value of womanhood is elevated through the nobleness of being a wife. It is partly in her hands that God entrust the most valuable creatures on earth, a human baby. Yes, even though she as a wife fills a role as a follower, she stands tall as a spiritual equal to her husband before God. She is a real “help meet” (Gen. 2:18) to her husband!

2. She Can be a Prayer Warrior Also. V7, “that your prayers”

A godly husband certainly is a man who prays to stay in touch with God and as a ‘living’ sacrificial offering. He consistently brings his family challenges and victories before the Lord…he cherishes deeply this vital connection throughout each day. He adores God above all else and routinely praises Him for His perfections and glory. The husband is also cognizant of his wife’s spiritual value and appreciates this quality as he visits in prayer with the Lord.

A godly wife can approach the throne of grace on behalf of her husband, her family, ‘friends,’ and her own challenges; God will listen interestedly to her prayers and meets her needs accordingly. Often God’s kingdom-related will is advanced through the prayers and activities of godly wives. She is authorized to cry out to the Lord, and our Father enjoys communion with her in a fantastic way. Her great power is wonderfully spiritual in this respect; she is worth more than ten mountains of gold because she knows how to touch the heart of God. Certainly, God is well acquainted with her prayers, midnight cries, hot tears of intercession, her confessions and accountability to Him, and her sometimes lengthy talks with Him. She is deeply spiritual…dominated intentionally by the Spirit of grace! She is not prideful, demanding, or arrogant but surrendered and humbly confident in her God! Listening to her pray move you into an awareness that you have entered the actual presence of God. At times she ushers you closer to the matchless heart of the Almighty!

So many Christian wives do not even realize they have such an inroad to access God! They are oblivious of such approaches, or they neglect Him who is divine. Many wives are seduced by carnal stuff and desires while precious few labor in the home and in prayers. An abundance of wives are even more impressed with human temporal powers instead of divine-mountain-moving power with God. They usually wear their husband’s rank, status, or achievements more fervently than he does. They push their husbands to be and do more because deep down they believe they are worth more. They attempt to use God and ‘Christianity’ for carnal gains…more money and power are usually the real reasons. Too many are like Queen Ataliah and Queen Jezabel but not enough are anything like praying and sacrificial Hannah. But praise the Lord for wives who are mighty warriors as praying women! Such a wife is a precious jewel to God and anyone else who makes her acquaintance.

QUOTE: “A man’s attitude toward his wife should recognize the fact that she is a fellow heir of the grace of life. This refers to a marriage in which both are believers.  Though weaker than the man in some ways, the women enjoys equal standing before God and shares equally the gift of everlasting life.  Also she is more than her husband’s equal in bringing new physical life into the world.”—William Macdonald

Men, we can depend on our wives to be real spiritual assets to the building of our homes. She can be your best prayer partner; she can at times be a tremendous source of objective counsel. A good wife can be a terrific help in evaluating a given situation, or in helping to make plans for the family’s future. She can contact God and believe God just like you can. Thank God for spiritual wives who realize what they have in Christ and seek the good of their relationship with their husbands. Praise the Lord for wives who are responsive, feminine, selfless, obedient, faithful, authentic, soft, and God-centered in their beliefs and behaviors.