God’s Order for a Wife (Part 1)

 

“God’s Order for a Wife” 

1 PETER 3:1-6

SUBJECT: SUBMISSION APPLIED TO MARRIAGE

THEME: each believing wife is to submit to her own husband in God’s order for marriage as a matter of trusting God.

RELEVANCE: though much of marriage is thrilling, our experiences can become unfair and sometimes painful; those who are the most intimate can hurt us deeply. Undoubtedly this is the case in marriage. To further complicate matters, many Christian couples are oblivious of what God calls them to deeming ‘God way’ as outdated. Regardless as children of God we are expected to accept God’s order and conduct ourselves accordingly even in poor circumstances. The obligation to trust God and embrace a better future are thus directed and reinforced in marriage.

INTRODUCTION:

Every relationship requires some work, labor, adjustments, growth, change, and effort if it is to serve God’s intentions and be mutually beneficial for all parties. Certainly, this is true in marriage.  

“No pain, no palm; no thorns, no throne; no gall, no glory; no cross, no crown.”—William Penn (1644–1718)

Marriage affords us a unique opportunity to deepen our sanctification, build together, and focus on eternal goals with the guarantee the tunings and personal progress will be worth it in the end.

There are basically three ideas regarding submission and marriage in this short series:

• The acknowledgement of God’s order for all believers
• The wife’s submission to the Lord as she follows her husband     
• The husband’s submission to the Lord by providing leadership for his wife and family

It is imperative that we acknowledge God’s order for marriage because this is one way we represent the Lord and propagate the Kingdom of God. Each person in a godly household exists to promote Jesus Christ and to demonstrate their personal commitment to advancing God’s reign and rule through proclaiming the gospel. This exhibit holiness, hope, and affords some happiness for couples, homes, and society in general. By doing this our Lord reigns in our experiences, is taken seriously, honored, and obeyed through believers who execute His will.  

 MESSAGE:

I.               Acknowledge God’s Order

A.    This is How These Ideas Should be Understood

                                                    i.     “Be in subjection to your own husbands. . .vs 3:1” This of course is the same word that appeared in chapter 1 Pet. 2:13 regarding human government, verse 18 regarding slaves, and in verse 3:5 regarding the character of holy women. 

1.     1 Pet 3:1, employs the word “Likewise” referring to the topic of “subjection” and now applies it to “wives.” Peter also makes a similar injunction for men applying ‘subjection’ to them (1Pet. 3:7).

2.     Submission here means that the Christian wife is to place herself under her own husband’s authority, control, and leadership as unto the Lord. A husband is to follow Christ’s leadership, He is accountable to God for his entire household, and he provides clarity and specificity on boarder kingdom objectives. A wife is to place herself under such authority and employ her gifts and abilities to advance the husband’s purposes in Christ.   

                                                  ii.     It is submission to a wife’s “own” husband and not to men or society in general.

1.     It is the home that God would rule over that is in view, this is also true of churches as God choose men to take roles of leadership.

2.     Leadership for a specific household will vary from one to the next. There is always something to learn from other believers and godly couples, but a wife is to follow her own husband’s lead in the home. Together they make a team for Christ with a team captain and a team member.

3.     God is not addressing the lost world outside of Christ; not work, not governments, and not the culture, or society. He is speaking only to real believers; what the world needs from us is more of the gospel.

                                                iii.     It is Important to Understand What God Does Not Mean When He Commands Submission:

1.     God does not mean that a wife should be subjected to a controlling tyrant, her enslavement, acquiescence to wife beatings, a disrespectful authoritarian, a chronic critic, an unfaithful deadbeat, or a self-absorbed manipulator!     

2.     God is not excusing a wife’s sarcasm, manipulation, disrespectfulness, big mouth—sharp tongue, belittling, lack of affection or intimacy, silent treatment, or undermining criticisms either.  

3.     NONE OF THESE IDEAS CONVEY WHAT GOD INTENDED BY SUBMISSION IN MARRIAGE! These are migrations away from God’s prescriptions; none of these represent what God has in mind for marriage.

                                                 iv.     What God intends by “subjection” is order, cooperation, and relationship—that a husband and wife are to walk together, hand in hand, throughout life to execute God’s purposes for a godly home. It is her willingly yielding her will to God’s authority and not forced subjugation manifesting trust, and humility to her husband as the God-ordained spiritual leader of that family. The Christian wife in obedience to God, assumes the proper order for her husband’s leadership, authority, and control so that God’s kingdom is advanced.

                                                   v.     For further emphasis, submission generates a trust in the sovereignty of God that frees a believer from fear and resentment over the way others treat us, posters us to serve the Lord more broadly, and helps us build a genuine love for others.

                                                vi.     “Subjection” also promotes viewing God as our real source of security and not merely ‘managing’ material means like using a man, a steady paycheck, money and excessive spending, or the government’s welfare dole. A lot of so-called ‘independence’ or ‘self-sufficiency’ would rapidly evaporate if the material props were suddenly taken away! To be at the mercy and whelm of mere people is the ridiculous place many find themselves in, but they mistakenly call it ‘independence’!

B.    Society Has Long Departed from God’s Order!

                                                    i.     Many reject the idea of women’s subjection in marriage as archaic, outdated, and old-fashioned. Some even react in anger and hostility against the Word of God and the preacher or person who deals with the subject.

                                                  ii.     Serving and providing service is still honorable, not a form of enslavement! We all exist to serve the Lord in some capacity, we serve each other, society in general, and the kingdom of God. Serving is what we all do; Christian marriage is yet another way to serve. It is not meant to be an institution designed to satisfy any person’s carnal desires. The focus is totally skewed when we insist the relationship exists to make us feel like a ‘king or queen.’ Marriage is not all about you; it is primarily about the Lord Jesus!

                                                iii.     Female leadership has invaded the church because it first invaded the home. Many believe the Bible ‘allows’ such changes if it is considered at all. Further too many young people are raised without any sense of a positive male role model in the home. These children, raised by their bitter mothers, learn to hate men also. These men may have wronged them, but we cannot ascribe such actions to all men. Unfortunately, such young girls have no idea of how to acquire a godly husband (most prefer to be impregnated by some guy from the hood), and they know even less about how to keep one—they have so few examples. The very notion is foreign to them!

                                                iv.     These young men are oblivious of the kind of leadership they are supposed to afford a home. No one demonstrated that for them…they never even heard of such. They don’t even expect to live out their lives; they anticipate a future of drugs, fornication, jail, or death. Again, this is complete ignorance…inexcusable, but unawareness!

C.    Please do not Confuse Gods’ Plan with Today’s Catastrophes!

                                                    i.     Some major challenges with marriage involve us reducing God’s plan and institution to personal feelings and preferences, cultural identity perimeters, manipulated court and divorce strategies, shortsighted laws, a way to realize personal rights, selfish innuendoes, self-centered reasons for leaving, and even assertions of sexual equality. God’s prescriptions unfortunately have been jumbled with human purposes, national traditions, blatant materialism, mere chauvinism, hyper-feminism, sexual equality, simple chivalry, our personal agenda/schemes, and other modern carnal adaptations!

                                                  ii.     Dating and marriage seem obsolete and old-fashioned while God’s ways are rejected and unexplored even though they cannot be improved upon! God made us…He best understands how we can live and work together in the home.

                                                iii.     What is God’s Order then? It is God’s plan to reach every person with the hope of Jesus Christ in the gospel (Matt. 28:19-20; Jn. 20:21-23). Each genuine believer is to serve God to achieve this end—God rules in the life that is devoted to his purpose. We must present ourselves, the people committed to us, and our resources to execute God’s kingdom agenda (Matt. 4:17; 5:3, 10; 6:13; Luk. 17:20-21; Rom. 14;17; 2Tim. 4:18; Jam. 2:5; 2 Pet.1:11). So, we place ourselves on the altar of God’s will (Rom. 12:1-2), we give the people we are responsible for to this undertaking, and we steward our belongings to administrate our portion of God’s plan. The ultimate goal is to manage God’s plan for us and our families demonstrating God’s order, rule, and authority over our lives.