Spiritual
Boundaries
Galatians 5:16-17, 25
Galatians 5:16–17, This I say then, Walk in
the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. 17 For the flesh
lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are
contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.
Galatians 5:25, If we live in the Spirit,
let us also walk in the Spirit.
Boundaries and conflicts require leadership from the Holy Spirit.
To “walk in the Spirit” is to live
under the direct control, guidance, and empowerment of the Holy Spirit instead
of returning to our sinful fallen desires. This concept has several
implications:
- Led
by the Holy Spirit, Not Controlled by ‘Fleshly’ Impulses:
Walking in the Spirit means allowing the Holy Spirit to set the pace and
direction of our daily choices, reactions, and words.
- Overcoming
Our Carnal Tendencies: Instead of trying to fight sin purely
through self-will (which often leads to frustration), a spiritual walk
crowds out or replaces sinful habits as we insist on staying close to God.
- Bearing
Holy Fruit to God’s Glory: When you walk by the
Spirit, He supernaturally produces the “fruit
of the Spirit”: "love, joy,
peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance"
(Galatians 5:22–23).
John 15:8 states: "Herein is
my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my
disciples."
- The
Source: Fruitfulness does not come from our hustle
or self-effort, but from abiding in Jesus Christ, who is the true vine.
- The Character: Spiritual fruit
includes Christlike character traits such as loving, joyful, peaceful,
patience, kind, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).
- The
Proof: Bearing much fruit is the visible evidence
and public verification that a believer is truly a disciple of Christ.
- The
Purpose: The ultimate goal of fruitfulness is not
personal recognition or material achievement, but pointing others to
God and bringing glory to the Father.
Living and walking in the Spirit then involves
relying on the power and guidance of the Holy Spirit to shape our daily
thoughts, choices, actions, and conversations instead of giving in to self-centered,
prideful, or sinful individual motives. Now let’s apply this to spiritual boundaries
and conversational conflicts.
Lesson:
The Spirit Guides Our Boundaries and Fitting Speech
Protecting our boundaries in a difficult conversation relies
on wisdom, a calm spirit, guarding your heart, and speaking with grace rather
than reacting in anger.
1.
Passages that Help Us Establish these Safeguards
a.
Proverbs 4:23 – "Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the
issues of life."
i. The heart
is first. It speaks of the inner life, the mind, the thoughts, the motives, the
desires. The mind is the fountain from which the actions spring. If the
fountain is pure, the stream that flows from it will be pure. As a man thinks,
so is he. So this verse emphasizes the importance of a clean thought life.[1]
ii. Protect
your inner state and emotional well-being before entering a tense conversation.
b.
Proverbs 15:1 – "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir
up anger."
i. If,
however, one wishes to maintain peace, he must forego the hot, loud or
sarcastic retort and give a pacifying reply (cf. 1 Sam 25:24).[2]
ii. Respond
calmly to disarm hostility without compromising your stance.
c.
Colossians 4:6 – "Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt,
that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man."
i. “Seasoned
with salt” was used to refer to witty, amusing, clever, humorous speech. Their
saltiness will prevent them from being ignored as irrelevant bores.[3]
ii. Keep your
words intentional, polite, and firm.
d.
James 1:19 – "Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to
hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath."
i. In an
argument, of course, the one who is listening rather than lambasting is the one
who is slow to anger (cf. 3:1–12). Anger fails to yield the righteous life that
God desires[4]
ii. Listen
carefully, pause before reacting, and keep your temper under control during
conflict.
e.
Romans 12:18 – "If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live
peaceably with all men."
i. Christians
should not be needlessly provocative or contentious. The righteousness of God
is not worked out by belligerence and wrath. We should love peace, make peace,
and be at peace. When we have offended others, or when someone has offended us,
we should work tirelessly for a peaceful resolution of the matter.[5]
ii. You are
responsible for your own peaceful conduct, even if the other person refuses to
respect your limits.
f.
Proverbs 25:17 – "Withdraw thy foot from thy neighbour's house; lest he be
weary of thee, and so hate thee."
i. A person
should refrain from frequently visiting his neighbor, to avoid being a
nuisance, but he should visit enough so that his visits are valued.[6]
ii. Know when
to step back or exit a conversation before it turns toxic or invasive.
2.
Principles that Help Us During Difficult
Conversations
a.
Guard Your Motives: Ensure
your boundary is built on love and stewardship rather than fear or a desire to
punish.
b.
Distinguish Between Bearing vs. Carrying
Loads: Know the difference between helping someone carry a heavy
burden (Galatians 6:2) and taking responsibility for another person's personal
behavior or bad choices (Galatians 6:5).
c.
Stay Firm without Bitterness: You can
love someone and forgive them while still refusing to accept abusive or
manipulative treatment.
Conclusion:
This all demands serious emotional discipline, maturity, and considerable self-control. The Scriptures repeatedly instructs us to “walk in the Spirit” to avoid expressing carnal abusive language, situational control, violent strategies, and relational manipulations.
[1]
William MacDonald, Believer’s Bible
Commentary: Old and New Testaments, ed. Arthur Farstad
(Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1995), 802.
[2]
James E. Smith, The Wisdom
Literature and Psalms, Old Testament Survey Series (Joplin, MO:
College Press Pub. Co., 1996), 571.
[3]
David E. Garland, Colossians and
Philemon, The NIV Application Commentary (Grand Rapids, MI:
Zondervan Publishing House, 1998), 274.
[4]
J. Ronald Blue, “James,” in The
Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures, ed. J. F.
Walvoord and R. B. Zuck, vol. 2 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1985), 823.
[5]
William MacDonald, Believer’s Bible
Commentary: Old and New Testaments, ed. Arthur Farstad
(Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1995), 1731.
Protecting our boundaries in a difficult conversation relies on wisdom, a calm spirit, guarding your heart, and speaking with grace rather than reacting in anger.
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