When Pain Drives Us to Our Knees

1 Samuel 1:7-10

Theme: View your painful circumstances as a grace from God designed to turn your heart more perfectly towards Him.

Could it be that God actually has a use for pain and times of sorrow? This life certainly is a veil of tears this much cannot be denied. The question is how will we handle this reality? Some try to escape it using myriads of means to get as far away from the hurt as they can. There are those who merely pretend the pain does not exist while yet others seek to medicate their pain or render themselves numb. As Believers, we know that God uses painful experiences to draw us to Himself. He always has our best interest at heart and quite intentionally employs even pain among His multiplied graces. Let’s take a look at how this is illustrated through the lives of Elkanah and Hannah.

SOMETIMES THOSE WE LOVE CAN ADD TO OUR PAIN (1SAM. 1:7-8)

1 Samuel 1:7-8, And as he [Elkanah] did so year by year, when she [Hannah] went up to the house of the Lord, so she [Peninnah] provoked her [Hannah]; therefore she wept, and did not eat. ⁸ Then said Elkanah her husband to her, Hannah, why weepest thou? and why eatest thou not? and why is thy heart grieved? am not I better to thee than ten sons?^[1]

MacDonald noted the following concerning the pain and growing tension in Elkanah’s dysfunctional home,

As was the case with Leah and Rachel, one wife was fruitful while the other was barren. This caused rivalry in the home because, although Hannah was childless, she was more loved by her husband. When the family traveled to Shiloh … yearly to celebrate one of the feasts, Hannah would receive a double portion of the peace offering (vv. 3–5). But this drew forth stinging taunts from Peninnah. Year after year her barbs cut deeper and deeper, until finally, in desperation, Hannah took the matter before the Lord at the tabernacle.^[2]

Furthermore, The Bible Knowledge Commentary indicated how futile Elkanah’s favoritism towards Hannah was, and how it further inflamed Peninnah’s belittling attacks stating,

In fact he gave her twice what he gave Peninnah, his second wife, when they took their offerings to the Lord at Shiloh, the place some 15 miles north of Ramah where Joshua had located the tabernacle (Josh. 18:1). This antagonized Peninnah, so she belittled her rival Hannah (1 Sam. 1:6–7). One thinks of the jealousy which Jacob’s bigamy wrought in Rachel’s heart (Gen. 30:1). None of Elkanah’s assurances of devotion had any beneficial effect upon Hannah and her sorrow (1 Sam. 1:8). Her only resort was to cast herself entirely on the mercies of God.^[3]

It is here that we have opportunity to peer into the soul of Elkanah….

      1.  Elkanah’s Final Question Allows us to Peer Deeply into His Own Heart.

1 Samuel 1:8 says, “Am not I better to thee than ten sons?” Basically he was threatened by the troubles his family faced and the massive discomfort his beloved Hannah was grinding through. He definitely felt that his efforts at loving Hannah were being rejected and ignored leaving him somewhat frustrated and bewildered. In some respects, they were…but, superficial efforts seldom provide meaningful help or remedy. In this very painful moment Hannah craved empathy and sincere understanding from her husband. The last things she needed was Elkanah’s self-centered approach (evidenced in his series of questions in verse 8) to her problem. Insecure people can quickly make a situation about themselves while ignoring the glaring needs in their mate’s life….  You see, without their individual security intact, they look to the relationship itself to define their current value. When threaten by uncertainty and relational challenges, these “individual insecurities are likely to emerge and take precedence over the crisis that needs to be resolved,” says Dr. Gunther Ph.D. author of Rediscovering Love.

Though sincere, Elkanah was trying to tell Hannah that she had no reason to feel so sad since she had him. For us men this likely sounds uncomfortably familiar? Dr. Gunther further observed in an article entitled, Insecurity: Love’s most potent saboteur (Posted Jan 31, 2018),

As insecurity increases in any of us, so do the symptoms associated with it. Anxiety, paranoia, fears of loss, instability, and an increasing need for reassurance begin to diminish our capacity to think and act effectively. Even if the less insecure partner in the relationship does everything right to help the other feel safe, he or she will eventually pull away if not successful. 

Yes, Elkanah’s self-centered focus obscures the challenges his wife Hannah is drudging through; her feelings of frustration, failure, fear, abandonment, anxiety, conflict, and inadequacy are nearly drowning her….

      2.  Elkanah has just Unwittingly added to Hannah’s Emotional Turmoil. 

She was probably on a guilt trip already for not being able to handle her negative emotions, and he had just intensified her problem. It’s obvious from what happened next that his approach didn’t ease her pain whatsoever.

As men particularly, we should not be threatened by our wives emotional states but should learn to handle their mood swings with empathy, sensitivity, and understanding.

This is a difficult task for most men, as it was for Elkanah. We’re basically “doers.” When our wives become emotional, we want to fix the problem. Our natural tendency is to be threatened and to blame ourselves for what is happening. (Getz)

Most of us as men need to develop our “listening skills.”  This involves getting beyond the cerebral aspects of the problem and trying to understand feelings. We must understand that most women already know intuitively what they are experiencing sometimes doesn’t make sense. In fact, they may even feel guilty for being so irrational. In other words, they already know, or at least believe, they “shouldn’t feel” the way they are feeling. To be told what they already have concluded only intensifies their guilt and fuels their tendency to be defensive. What they want is a sincere listening ear. (Getz)

James 1:19, counsels us to “be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.” “Swift to hear,” portrays a person who instantly and humbly receives God’s counsel and admonition. They possess a highly teachable attitude and are keenly attentive to the teaching ministry of the Holy Spirit (Js. 1:21b). A readiness and willingness to listen is key not only to a healthy walk with the Lord, but also to human relationships. Listening empathically requires a commitment to truly knowing and understanding others. Empathetic listening is paying attention to another person with empathy [emotional identification, compassion, feeling, insight]. One basic principle is to “seek to understand, before being understood.” (S. Covey) In addition, the most important skill you can offer is empathy, which requires a willingness to put yourself in the shoes of the other person so they feel heard in a non-judgmental way. Empathy is the grace note of empathic listening, as it allows the speaker to feel safe, acknowledged, and valued. (B. Davenport) The Scriptures repeatedly commends the skill of listening well (1Sam 3:10; Prov. 12:50; 15:32; 25:12; Luke 2:46; 10:39).

CERTAINLY, TURNING TO GOD IN OUR PAIN IS WISE (1SAM. 1:9-10)

1 Samuel 1:9-10, So Hannah rose up after they had eaten in Shiloh, and after they had drunk. Now Eli the priest sat upon a seat by a post of the temple of the Lord. ¹⁰ And she was ^†in bitterness of soul, and prayed unto the Lord, and wept sore. ^[4]

Seemingly forgotten of God, an object of reproach and scorn, without giving in to feelings of resentment, unable to tell her trouble to anyone else, she now turns to him who is “a Refuge for the oppressed in times of trouble.” (Ps. 9:9). While reserving turning to God for a last resort is not recommended, it is wise to look to Him when the bottom drops out. God should be our first option…the One we gladly run to when life does not make sense.

God-connecting prayer is the best strategy at such painful times; a heart of grief coupled with the loneliness it usually causes, can often lead to ‘the pouring out our soul before the Lord.’ What a helpful power sorrow is in a world like this! Such times are pregnant with fruitful potential and power through God’s gracious workings in our conditions and hearts. And how blessed are such fruits produced through God’s grace! Dearly beloved, do not hesitate to rush into the Throne of Grace to access the help, grace, and mercy you need as you recognize your needs.

Psalm 55:22, Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.

Hosea 2:15, And I will give her her vineyards from thence, and the valley of Achor for a door of hope: and she shall sing there, as in the days of her youth, and as in the day when she came up out of the land of Egypt.   

1 Peter 5:7, Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

No one understands your heart ache better than the Lord God; He alone knows how to help and assist in the best ways possible. Our Lord Jesus certainly knows our sorrows and griefs more fully than we do. He has worked through every possible form of pain and suffering we could ever encounter. Turn to this Savior and Lord when confusion persists, the diagnosis is negative, the news is not helpful, the situation just got worst, you just can’t wait another moment, answers aren’t enough, and when you are even afraid to hope again. Turning to God in your pain is never a waist of effort and time; it is a pure act of utter dependence on the faithfulness, wisdom, love, and power of God our Father.

OUR PAINS SHOULD DRIVE US BELIEVERS TO OUR TRUE REFUGE (1SAM. 1:9-10)

1 Samuel 1:9-10, So Hannah rose up after they had eaten in Shiloh, and after they had drunk. Now Eli the priest sat upon a seat by a post of the temple of the Lord. ¹⁰ And she was ^†in bitterness of soul, and prayed unto the Lord, and wept sore.^[5]

The family was in a mess, her rival appeared to be winning their perpetual conflict, there was no one to offer meaningful counsel, her husband did not take the time to really grapple with what she was experiencing, still she yearned for a child as she had for years now, and God had not taken occasion to grant her children. Hannah is desperate, lonely, broken, and fearful…yet she cherishes a notion that God will hear her cries and respond to her faith. So 1Sam. 1:9-10 says, “Hannah rose up…the temple of the LORD…and she was in bitterness of soul, and prayed unto the LORD, and wept sore.”

That is correct, instead of becoming angry with God and resenting his plan, she turned to the Lord and leaned into the relationship knowing He is able, merciful, purposeful, gracious, and empathic! When she may have been justified to walk away from faith, God, the Bible, and worship…this dear child of God clung to Him like life itself. What an example she is to us…to me…today.

    1.  Pain can Drive us to Our Knees...towards God.   Vs. 9

This was a painful cry for help. One of the great benefits that accompanies this kind of emotional pain is that it "drives us to our knees." This is what happened to Hannah. 

          A.  She Had Little Fellowship and Comfort from Her Family.  Vs. 9

It is a great thing when we can find reassurance and support from loving family members and through our church home. Still when the gentle or heavy hand of God has been plainly recognized in a trial, the soul needs more than the prayers of others. Heart and flesh then cry out for the living God.

          B.  She Longs For Time Alone with the True and Living God.

After years of silently waiting on God followed by wonder, doubt, occasional hope, and corresponding despair filling out her experience, she rises in pursuit of His presence, help, and deliverance. When our hearts a weary, we are correct to turn to the Lord even more so. The corporate worship is great but sometimes not enough…our sense of need for God yet grows acute. Stirred by the realization her husband is ill equipped to understand the depth of her pain, she correctly seeks refuge in God through heart-felt urgent cries to Him. Beloved, this is one way we cope when life is too much! There is no room for internal conflict with the plan of God, it is not time to abandon oneself to despair, and it is not merely time for others to pray for us down at the church. We need the Lord God Almighty for ourselves…our souls long for Jehovah God…like never before we must have Him…the weight of our burden drives us to His Throne room for help, grace, and mercy. Weary yes, but yet pursuing our great God!

     2.  Pain Can Drive us to the Sanctuary.   Vs. 9

On one occasion, while worshiping in Shiloh, Hannah opened her heart before God and cried out to Him for help. While we as New Testament Christians are not limited to a place of worship, certainly the house of the Lord should be among the places we get in touch with the Lord.

Trials can still lead us to God, not trusting in our own righteousness, but in the true and living God. It is our desire as God’s children learning through our trials to seek the house of God, and there, plead for his mercy, and find relief to lay down our burdens. Often in the sanctuary the Word of God can clarify, it can examine the heart and motives, it can inspire real faith, it can deepen trust that transcends our pains and sorrows, it can instruct us in how to proceed, it can keep us focused on the hope of the Lord. It is in the sanctuary that we can hear testimonies that give us reason to hope and trust the Lord anew…move us to sing and worship God for who He is instead of for what we want from Him. Most importantly the sanctuary must be a place where we see God, interact quite intentionally with Him, and express to Him directly our deepest pains, sorrows, and fears. The Psalmist said it well declaring, “As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.” (Ps 42:1).

So many forsake the Lord when life hurts…. Such temptations will ever be there, but we must decide to cling to God no matter what. This account details how Hannah did it. What about you and me? Is our resolve to cling to God punctuated in our minds and hearts? Have we made such commitments to the Lord? Have you elected Jehovah God as your first resort instead of your last option? Is quitting still among your viable options when life does not make sense?

The steadfast counsel of the Apostle Paul is so relevant here: “Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, for as much as ye know that your labor is not in vain in the Lord” (1Cor 15:58). Couple this with the thoughts of the wise Psalmist who reminds us that Jehovah God is our Refuge.

Psalm 46

To the chief Musician for the sons of Korah, A Song upon Alamoth.

¹     God is our refuge and strength,

A very present help in trouble.

²     Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed,

And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;

³     Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled,

Though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah.

⁴     There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God,

The holy place of the tabernacles of the most High.

⁵     God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved:

God shall help her, and that right early.

⁶     The heathen raged, the kingdoms were moved:

He uttered his voice, the earth melted.

⁷     The Lord of hosts is with us;

The God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.

⁸     Come, behold the works of the Lord,

What desolations he hath made in the earth.

⁹     He maketh wars to cease unto the end of the earth;

He breaketh the bow, and cutteth the spear in sunder;

He burneth the chariot in the fire.

¹⁰    Be still, and know that I am God:

I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.

¹¹    The Lord of hosts is with us;

The God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.^[6]

Yes, beloved, the Lord is our place of safety and protection from the enemies of our souls. He alone is the Source of our strength and power in troubling times. View your pains as a grace from God designed to turn your heart more entirely to Him. Let your pain drive you to your knees…to your refuge. Bring Him your tears, sorrows, yearnings, and fears. He is able; there is no need to hesitate. Go to Him even now.

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^[1] The Holy Bible: King James Version. (2009). (Electronic Edition of the 1900 Authorized Version., 1 Sa 1:7–8). Bellingham, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.

^[2] MacDonald, W. (1995). Believer’s Bible Commentary: Old and New Testaments. (A. Farstad, Ed.) (p. 297). Nashville: Thomas Nelson.

^[3] Merrill, E. H. (1985). 1 Samuel. In J. F. Walvoord & R. B. Zuck (Eds.), The Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures (Vol. 1, p. 433). Wheaton, IL: Victor Books.

^[4] The Holy Bible: King James Version. (2009). (Electronic Edition of the 1900 Authorized Version., 1 Sa 1:9–10). Bellingham, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.

^[5] The Holy Bible: King James Version. (2009). (Electronic Edition of the 1900 Authorized Version., 1 Sa 1:9–10). Bellingham, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.

^[6] The Holy Bible: King James Version. (2009). (Electronic Edition of the 1900 Authorized Version., Ps 46). Bellingham, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.