The Boomerang of Favoritism

1 Samuel 1:4-7

According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary, a literal boomerang is “a bent or angular throwing club typically flat on one side and rounded on the other so that it soars or curves in flight especially: one designed to return near the thrower.” The second definition is even more intriguing and relatable stating a boomerang is “an act or utterance that backfires on its originator.” Certainly, we all have experience this! We did or said something with good intentions only to experience the pain of it backfiring and causing far more damage than good. Notice how the boomerang of favoritism backfires on Elkanah.

And when the time was that Elkanah offered, he gave to Peninnah his wife, and to all her sons and her daughters, portions: ⁵ But unto Hannah he gave a worthy portion; for he loved Hannah: but the Lord had shut up her womb. ⁶ And her adversary also provoked her sore, for to make her fret, because the Lord had shut up her womb. ⁷ And as he did so year by year, when she went up to the house of the Lord, so she provoked her; therefore she wept, and did not eat.^[1]

ELKANAH PRACTICED FAVORITISM—HE WAS PARTIAL TOWARDS HANNAH.  Favoritism can backfire in painful ways giving energy to anger, resentment, envy, retaliation and rivalry.

The mentioning that Elkanah had two wives relates to Hannah’s story. His having two wives would suggest that polygamy was permitted and practiced to some extent among the Israelites. It served several purposes; chiefly polygamy gave greater assurance that a man would have a son to keep his name alive. Often, when the first wife did not produce a male offspring, a second wife would be taken. This may have been the case in this story. The problems of this practice are illustrated in the rivalrous relationship of Hannah and Peninnah and the unhappiness that resulted. While our society does not sanction polygamy, many of the same kinds of problems are created by serial marriages.^[2]

Favoritism does indeed spawn a series of unhappy relational developments wherever it is practiced by some unwary soul. While polygamy and favoritism are the obvious culprits, other questions need to be carefully examined also….

     1.  Was This a Curse from God?

Twice in this text we’re told that “the LORD had shut up” Hannah's womb (1Sam. 1:5-6). Does this mean that Hannah was cursed by God and that her barrenness resulted from some specific sin in her own life? I don't think so.

Like the man born blind that John described in his gospel (John 9:1—3), it simply indicates that God is sovereign, even in our physical problems. Though God had warned the children of Israel He would cause barrenness among them if they disobeyed Him (Deut. 28:4, 18), we have no strong evidence in this story that Hannah was the victim of this curse. She was probably unable to bear children just as many women—even Christian women today—have difficulty conceiving. (G. Getz)

     2.  Was it Good to Show Hannah Favor?   Vs. 5

On the other hand, Hannah no doubt felt despised and rejected by God, especially since her rival kept taunting her and reminding her of her condition. Perhaps Peninnah even paraded her own ability to have children as a blessing from God. Elkanah, however, did not view her in this way. He dearly loved Hannah. He demonstrated this love by giving her a “worthy portion” or a double provision of the meat.

The Book of James chapter 2 reminds us of some of the problems with favoritism (James 2:1-7).

1. It is inconsistent with the Christian Faith (1).

2. It leads to shallow assessments of people (2-3a).

3. It leads to preferential treatment for some (3).

4. It judges people by carnal standards (4).

5. It obscures and perverts sound judgment (5-7).

The Scriptures never present favoritism and partiality in a positive light! Like Elkanah, we sometimes have good intentions, but an unwise approach. The results is the boomerang!

In fact, favoritism among federal organizations and employees is a growing concern in recent years.

“The number of individuals reporting that they either observed or were personally affected by a [prohibited personnel practice] increased, from 34% of [Merit Principles Survey] respondents in 2010 to 46% in 2016,” the agency wrote. “In this same time period, [prohibited personnel practice] complaints to the U.S. Office of Special Counsel increased, from 2,415 to 4,124.” –Wagner, Erich, Government Executive (June 2019).

Wagner also observed,

 Sex-based discrimination increased the most of all prohibited personnel practices witnessed or experienced by survey respondents, increasing from 11.7% in 2010 to 19.9% in 2016. Race-based discrimination remained the most common prohibited personnel practice, at 20.6%, although discrimination based on race, age and disabilities all increased by more than 5 percentage points since 2010.The perceptions that an agency official gave an unfair advantage to a job candidate, which has consistently been the most widely perceived violation, increased by more than 8 percentage points, from 22% in 2010 to 30.6% in 2016. And perceptions of whistleblower retaliation grew from 8.1% in 2010 to 14.3% in 2016. (https://www.govexec.com/workforce/2019/06/growing-number-feds-think-theyve-seen-favoritism-other-prohibited-personnel-practices/157603/)

Mahoney points out that favoritism is a matter of law and ethics giving such practices legal gravity and suggesting serious consequences for such violations saying,

Favoritism and cronyism are two unfortunate aspects of federal employment that cannot be denied. The saying “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know” appears to ring true, even in government workplaces. Favoritism, favoring a person because of a relationship or feature (likes and dislikes, ability to provide something they need or want, relationship with a higher-up, etc.) instead of because of the merit of their work. Cronyism, a narrower term, describes favoring someone because they are a friend or associate specifically. These types of favoring go against common, assumed workplace ethics, and against the transparency that government workplaces should be exhibiting with regard to hiring practices. –Mahoney, John P. Esq., Attorney at Law (March 20, 2019)

Clearly when favoritism, cronyism, or even nepotism are in play credibility is lost, trust is undermined, morale is tanked, and resentment between team members and coworkers is fueled! No, favoritism is never good; it’s a dangerous boomerang.

     3.  What Made Peninnah So Angry?    Vs. 6-7

Predictably, Elkanah’s attempts to love and encourage Hannah greatly angered Peninnah. Though she had provoked and irritated Hannah all along because of her barrenness, Peninnah “doubled” her efforts when Elkanah “doubled” Hannah’s portions. In fact, the Scriptures describe her as Hannah’s “adversary” who “provoked her sore” (1:6). Peninnah’s verbal abuse was so intense and painful for Hannah that she often burst into tears and became so emotionally distraught she couldn’t even eat a sign of intense anxiety and depression. To make matters worse, this went on “year by year” (1 Sam. 1:7). (G. Getz)

W. MacDonald observed, “Hannah would receive a double portion of the peace offering (vv. 3–5). But this drew forth stinging taunts from Peninnah. Year after year her barbs cut deeper and deeper….”^[3]

As parents, when we show favoritism in family situations, we create tensions that destroy oneness and unity. In fact, by doing so we establish the very elements that destroy any possible future harmony for our children. Many adult siblings struggle in their relationship one with another because of the way their parents favored one over the other. Feelings of inferiority, rejection and inadequacy are compounded over the years fueling hostility, rivalry and envy.  

             A.  Favoritism Always Creates Jealousy Which Always Leads to a Great Deal of Emotional Pain. This is once again illustrated in our present study. Hannah suffered terribly because of Elkanah’s favoritism. The Scriptures repeatedly warn of the relational difficulties of jealousy and envy, which are sometimes spawned by favoritism. The wise King Solomon and the grave Apostle Paul agree stating in  

Proverbs 14:30, that “A sound heart is the life of the flesh: But envy the rottenness of the bones.” Then in Galatians 5:26, Paul commands, “Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.”

Again and again we see this principle illustrated in the Old Testament. “Isaac loved Esau, ... but Rebekah loved Jacob” (Gen. 25:28). The results were devastating for this family and for these boys. When Jacob married, “he loved also Rachel more than Leah” (Gen. 29:30). Again, the results were disastrous pitting sisters against each other and this perpetuated the animosity between their children. Later, Jacob “loved him [Joseph] more than all his brethren.” Consequently, Joseph’s brothers “hated him and could not speak peaceably unto him” (Gen. 37:3-4). Rivalry, envy, and bitterness characterized Elkanah’s home just as with Sarah and Hagar in Abraham’s home (Gen. 16:4-5) and Leah and Rachel in Jacob’s home (Gen. 30:14-16). Favoritism is a nasty boomerang!

             B.  It Takes a Great Deal of Wisdom to Avoid this Mistake in Our Families. Avoiding favoritism does not mean we shouldn’t honor our children’s achievements and encourage them as individuals. However, we must do so in a way that causes all of our children to feel we’re being fair and impartial. We must be cognizant of the amount of time we spend with each child to ensure we do not give the perception of favoritism. Ensuring we have a fair and unbiased system of merit in place that is transparently communicated to all of our children is vital. Each child needs to understand the criteria and the consequences for violating the behavioral, performance, or attitudinal standards. In addition, they all need to see the standards painstakingly and consistently enforced by both parents or by the parent.  

It’s particularly difficult to practice this principle when some of our children are responsive to spiritual things and others are not. It’s at this point we need to seek counsel from someone who has wisdom far beyond our own—a person who can help us differentiate between refusing to condone a sinful lifestyle and being fair and impartial.

Ultimately the cure for favoritism is a biblically informed perspective on fairness and equity coupled with a careful observance of the Royal Law of Jesus Christ.

James 2:8, 9 says, If ye fulfil the royal law according to the scripture, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself, ye do well: ⁹ But if ye have respect to persons, ye commit sin, and are convinced of the law as transgressors. ^[4]

The “royal law” was initially prescribed to Israel in Leviticus 19:18 and affirmed for all Christians by Christ Jesus our King in Matthew 22:39. If we truly loved our neighbors as ourselves, we would treat them the way we would want to be treated. A believer motivated by such love will take pains to ensure fairness, equity, and good will are in play. Obedience to Christ’s Law, royal love absent of preferential advantages, is the solution to prejudicial favoritism and partiality. Real love in action stops the boomerang of favoritism from the very outset.

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^[1] The Holy Bible: King James Version. (2009). (Electronic Edition of the 1900 Authorized Version., 1 Sa 1:4–7). Bellingham, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.

² Merriam-Webster Dictionary, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/boomerang

³ Chafin, K. L., & Ogilvie, L. J. (1989). 1, 2 Samuel (Vol. 8, p. 22). Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson Inc.

^[3] MacDonald, W. (1995). Believer’s Bible Commentary: Old and New Testaments. (A. Farstad, Ed.) (p. 297). Nashville: Thomas Nelson.

^[4] The Holy Bible: King James Version. (2009). (Electronic Edition of the 1900 Authorized Version., Jas 2:8–9). Bellingham, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.