It's Not My Fault!

Genesis 3:1-19 (vs. 12-19)

Theme: We do not like to take responsibility for giving in to temptations and our bad habits; yet it is this very tendency that keeps us from dealing successfully with the besetting sins in our lives.

Introduction: I read something the other day that said, “LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION, I CAN FIND IT MYSELF”.  We all would probably agree with that statement. Temptation seems to be lurking everywhere; we certainly don’t have to look for it. 

There is, however, a certain implication in that statement. The implication is that we are ultimately responsible for the things with which we are tempted.  That is, we don’t need any assistance when it comes to being tempted.  We don’t like to take complete responsibility for our temptations; after all it is so much easier to blame someone or something else.  Yet this tendency keeps many of us from dealing successfully with the besetting sins in our lives.  

Alcoholics are classic examples.  People with drinking problems have well-rehearsed stories about why they have problems with alcohol.  Stories ranging from family problems, to difficulties at work, also broken relationships.  Regardless of the particulars of the stories, the conclusion is their problems are really somebody else fault; if certain people or circumstances would change, then they could straighten up, but not until then.  The sad result is that by blaming somebody else for their problems, they never get themselves in a position to change.  They short circuit the whole process.  (Stanley)

Lesson:

We Tend to Excuse Our Actions by Blaming Others. Gen 3:11-13, And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat? 12, And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat. 13, And the LORD God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat.

The very first time man is confronted with his sin he excuses himself and blames someone else.  Blame shifting is nothing new!  What they are saying is, “It’s Not My Fault!” Our defensive instincts often keep us from seeing how our behaviors impact God and other people. We do something hurtful and then we try to minimize it, adding a second injury to the first, and further damaging our relationships.  Let us look at some of the excuses we make today. . ..

        A.  THERE ARE THOSE WHO EXCUSE THEMSELVES BY BLAMING THEIR PERSONALITY “BUT THAT’S JUST THE WAY I AM!”  Many people blame their personality for their inability to deal successfully with particular temptations.

                 1)    Men with Hot Tempers Tend to Use This Excuse.

They say, “I’ve Always Been This Way.” Others excuse their temper problem by saying: “Ever since I was a kid I’ve had a hot temper.”  The implication is that “I have always been this way and I always will be.  There is no use in my trying to change.”  Often accompanying this way of thinking is a plea to “accept me the way I am.”  This may be your answer to your problem, but sooner or later your spouse and children get tired of running for cover when you blow your stake and resort to filthy language.

                  2)   Women with a Habit of Pouting Tend to Use This Excuse.

This is another unacceptable behavior that often gets excused as part of someone’s personality—the habit of closing up and refusing to talk when there is tension or conflict.  You may say what’s that got to do with temptation?  This is an inappropriate outward response to one’s feelings.  It’s the same as lying when one feels threatened or cursing when one feels angry.  This is a temptation and sin just like any other bad habit.  “That’s the way I handle pressure,” “It’s just the way that I am.”  Sometimes a non-communicative parent can provoke their child to rebellion to have the attention and affection of that parent.

        B.   THERE ARE THOSE WHO EXCUSE THEMSELVES BY BLAMING THEIR CIRCUMSTANCES. “If only my circumstances were different, I would do better”

People use their circumstances or environment to excuse themselves.  “If it wasn’t for the people I work with, I wouldn’t have this problem.”  “If I didn’t have all the pressure at home, I am sure I could change.”  “It’s not my fault.  My friends make me do it.”, “If I had a normal life like everybody else, I would be able to quit my bad habit.”

                  1)   This is the Excuse that Single Adults (30yrs old) Use to Excuse Their Fornication.   “I wouldn’t have this problem if I had a spouse.”

                  2)   This is the Excuse that Busy Parents Use to Excuse the Neglect of their Children.

“If I didn’t have these children then I could get more out of life; I don’t have time to raise my children properly.”

                  3)   This is the Excuse that Dominating Wives Use to Excuse The Way They Treat Their Husbands. “I can’t be the Wife I Should be because he’s not the Husband he should be”

                  4)   This is the Excuse that Christians use for not Serving the Lord Faithfully and for not Attending Church Consistently. “Preacher, You don’t understand how busy my week is and sometimes I’m too tired to come to church”

                  5)   This is the Excuse that Passive Husbands use to Excuse Their Lack of Spiritual Leadership in the Home. “If I knew more about the Bible I would have a family altar”

                  6)    This is the Excuse that Church Workers use for Their Lack of Preparation for their ministry. “I had so many other things to manage this week” or “something came up at the last minute”

A single young man was convinced that smoking was wrong and bad for his health, but he blamed his habit on his friends who smoked heavily.  He was blaming his problem on his associates, and therefore he was unwilling to take responsibility for his problem.

        C.   THERE ARE THOSE WHO EXCUSE THEMSELVES BY BLAMING THEIR FAMILY OR PARENTS. “If you knew the kind of family I grew up in, you would understand why I ‘m this way.” 

A third excuse people are tempted to use is the Family. “If you had known my mom, you would know why I act the way I do.”  “My Dad always told me that a real man never cries, and so I cannot cry to this day.”

There seems to be more and more psychological awareness in our society today.  People seem to have a better understanding of why they act and react the way they do in given circumstances and relationships.  People seem to have some understanding of the impact parents make on children and how that can affect them as adults.

Gaining this insight can be a positive step in correcting problem behavior when it is acted upon. Unfortunately, it seems that some people use this insight as an excuse rather than a tool to aid in the process of change. They shift the responsibility for their sins from themselves to their parents.  “If my parents hadn’t treated me the way they did, I wouldn’t have these problems.”

A Young Lady who had a real understanding of how she was raised impacted her adult life.  She told the Christian councilor clearly and accurately what she experienced as a child and then she accurately pointed out how her parent’s negligence affected her as an adult.  She also made it clear that several bad habits developed in her adult life as a means of copping with her childhood.  The Christian Councilor was impressed with her clear analysis and even wanted to hire her as a councilor.  Then he asked her what positive steps have you taken to correct the problems in your life.  She evaded the question and began to talk about the details of her parent’s cruelty.  She was not looking for help, she only wanted to talk and further establish her reasons for excusing her poor habits. The insight she had should have been used to secure a remedy for her problem but instead she used it for an excuse for her sin and to blame her parents.  (Stanley)

        D.  THERE ARE THOSE WHO EXCUSE THEMSELVES BY BLAMING THE DEVIL“The Devil Made Me Do It.”  It may be Flip Wilson who most recently popularized the phrase “the Devil made me do it,” but this excuse has been around since the beginning.  Since we know that Satan has something to do with the temptation process it makes sense that he would be the one to blame.  Satan’s only power over us is through manipulation and deception.  But we need to be aware that the Devil cannot make us do anything!

                    1)   Satan is a Deceiver. 2 Cor 11:3, But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtilty, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ.

Rev 12:9, And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him.

                      2) Satan is a Liar.  John 8:44, Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.

                      3) But, Satan Cannot Make Us Do Anything

Imagine yourself standing at the edge of a cliff that drops off into a deep rocky gorge.  Now suppose I walked up to you and said, “We have kidnapped a member of your family.  If you refuse to jump, your relative will be brutally beaten and then killed.”   Have I made you jump?  If you believe my story and you believed by jumping you could save your family member, I may have made you willing to jump or even anxious to jump.  But I have not made you jump.  Even if you jumped and you found out on the way to the bottom that I had lied about the whole thing, I still did not make you jump.  I simply tricked you into jumping.  On the other hand, if I walked up behind you and pushed you off, then I made you do something contrary to what you wanted to do, felt like doing, or even thought about doing.  The Serpent did not force Eve to eat the fruit, but he tricked her!  (Stanley)

        E.  THERE ARE THOSE WHO EXCUSE THEMSELVES BY BLAMING GOD

“LORD, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!” Gen 3:12, And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.

Many believers, some intentionally and some unintentionally, blame God for temptations. In actuality, you are blaming God when you blame anything or anybody for your weakness in a particular area. God allowed you to be born into your family.  He allowed you to meet the group that keeps getting you into trouble.  He allowed you to meet that individual you finally became involved with.  He even knew what kind of personality you would have.  If you thought about your sin long enough, you could find a way to pin the blame on God. (Stanley) 

The Bible is clear that God is not the cause of your temptation. James 1:13, Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man:

Just as holy trials are designed to bring out the best in us, so unholy temptations are designed to bring out the worst in us. James offered a sharp rebuke to those who find an easy excuse for their sinning. To free themselves from responsibility they say, “I am tempted by God,” He is the origin of this enticement, though He is not the Agent. James made it abundantly clear God cannot be tempted. This one thing must be clearly understood. (Wiersbe)

There is nothing in God to which evil can make an appeal. He is literally “untemptable” (Heb. 4:15). When we are tempted to sin, the temptation does not come from God. God does test or try men, as far as their faith is concerned, but He never tempts a man to commit any form of evil. He Himself has no dealings with evil, and He does not entice to sin.

When we take the first step and admit that we are responsible for the bad habits in our lives, and when we stop blaming others for our problems, then we can begin to deal with the temptations in our lives (1 John 1:9, 10).

It is not someone or something else fault.  It is your fault!  This is not the point within itself.  If it’s your problem then you can begin to get victory over it, but if you blame your circumstances, or your environment then there is nothing you can do and you are a victim of circumstances. But God has made it clear that when we take the blame for our failures, then we can deal successfully with temptations (James 1:14-18).