So, The Lord Said "NO" Huh?

  1 JN. 5:14-15; 1PET. 3:7; PROV. 28:9; JS. 1:6-7; MATT. 5:23-25

SUBJECT: HINDRANCES TO PRAYER

                                                           

God Truly Does Desire to Say “Yes” to You and me When we Pray to Him. We must Recognize the “No” and “Wait” Answers from the Lord as Opportunities to Grow in our Prayer Relationship with Him.  

When our prayers aren't answered in the way we want—generally speaking, when we receive a wait or a no answer—we sometimes become discouraged, perhaps even resentful. What we fail to recognize is that “wait” and “no” answers are tremendous teaching tools. Any serious student will admit that he or she has learned a lot from mistakes made on an exam. Our failures in life are very often our greatest teachers. So, to, with God's wait and no answers. They can reveal to us what actions we should take or how we should grow in our relationship with the Lord. (Stanley)

In this article we will focus on God's no answers to see what they might tell us. Again, I am assuming that you are in right relationship with God. The person who has not accepted Jesus Christ as Savior or who is in willful rebellion against God is not a person who can expect positive answers from God. God's answer is likely to be a repeated “no” until the person repents believing the gospel of Jesus Christ and surrenders his or her life fully to Christ.

Being a believer, however, and even desiring to live in right relationship with God does not always ensure that we will have all of our prayers answered with a "yes". There are certain practical and specific reasons why God does not always say “yes” to Christians.

CONSIDER GOD'S “NO” ANSWERS TO OUR PRAYERS.

When we hear about someone receiving an answer of “no” from God, our first impulse may be to assume that there is some deep dark hidden sin in that person's life. Likewise, when we are the ones receiving the “no” answer, we may assume that sin is the cause, and we may try to argue that point with God or justify our position and request. Another possibility, however, is that we may be living in ignorance, not necessarily high-handed rebellion, but still sinful. In such instances God may use a “no” answer to sharpen our focus and obedience to Him while correcting our mistakes.(Stanly)

Sin is willful disobedience against what we know God desires. Sin, especially on the part of a believer in Jesus Christ, is a matter of saying, “I know what God requires of me, but I prefer to do what I think is best.” It is a deliberate act of rebellion and defiance to God clear and specific guidelines. When we do this, we break our fellowship with the Lord. We are out of step and harmony with Him and His plan. As a result the Holy Spirit moves to convict us of our sin, usually with increasing intensity to help us confess and forsake our sin.

Ignorance, in contrast, is not knowing God's requirements; or an inadvertent act that violates God's standards of morality. These are not willful acts or feelings of disobedience. We do not know we are making an incorrect choice or engaging in unrighteous behavior because we have not been taught that our actions are wrong in God's eyes. We desire a relationship with God and will be quick to amend our ways once we realize our failures...but at present, we do not know that we are erring. God's “no” answer is a means of bringing us to the point where we recognize our error so we can correct our behavior. Once we correct our behavior, God's answer to our same prayer request may very well be “yes.”

There are at least six areas of error that evoke a "no" answer from God. So, God sometimes says,

A.  NO, BECAUSE OUR RELATIONSHIPS ARE NOT RIGHT BEFORE HIM.

Matthew 5:23-25, Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; [24] Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift. [25] Agree with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison.

One reason God gives us an answer of no is that our relationships with other people are not right.  Conflict with others will always hinder our prayer life and worship.

    1.  Examine Your Relationships With Others.

Matthew 6:14-15, For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: [15] But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Our heavenly Father always forgives, is merciful, and desires the best for us.

         A.  Are You Unforgiving?

He will not answer our prayers as long as we remain unforgiving, unmerciful, or self-centered and demanding of those He has given us as marriage partners, family members, and friends.

         B.  Are You Mean Spirited?

We cannot be caustic, sarcastic, cynical, mean-spirited, resentful, or selfish to other people and then come to the Father and expect Him to answer all of our petitions. He has clearly said that we must forgive if we are to be forgiven.

         C. Are You a Giver?

We must be givers before we expect to receive. (See Luke 6:37–38.)

Luke 6:37-38, Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven: [38] Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.

Matthew 18:19-20, Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven. [20] For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

    2.  Examine Your Relationship With Your Spouse.

1 Peter 3:7, Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

         A.  In 1 Peter 3:1–7, we find a balanced approach to the relationship that God desires for a husband and wife to have. Peter says that if this relationship is not in right balance, our prayers are hindered.

         B.  Your relationship must be right with your spouse for God to answer your prayers, because in marriage, two people are made one and are regarded as one flesh by God.

         C.  God will not answer your prayer unless He is fully assured that His answer is going to be a blessing that you are going to share fully with your spouse. Your request to God must be one that honors and considers your spouse and is generous toward your spouse.(MacDonald)

         D.  Feelings of resentment, growing from selfish conduct in the home, make effective prayer impossible. Effective prayer must be "without wrath" (1 Tim 2:8).

1 Tim. 2:8, I will therefore that men pray every where, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting.

Ephes. 4:30-32,

And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. [31] Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: [32] And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. 

B.  NO, BECAUSE OUR MOTIVES ARE SELFISH.

James 4:3, Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.

A second reason why God gives us answers of no is that our request is totally self-serving. The epistle of James informs us that these believers asked and did not receive, because they asked amiss, that they might spend it all on their personal satisfaction and pleasures.

   1.  All of Our Actions as Christians Are Either Aimed at Self or God.

Our motive is either to exalt ourselves or to bring glory to God. In serving others, we bring glory to God, so we might say our actions are motivated either by a desire to serve self or others.

Proverbs 16:18, Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.

Proverbs 21:17 He that loveth pleasure shall be a poor man: he that loveth wine and oil shall not be rich.  

   2.  God Gives Us a “No” Answer So That We Can Confront Our Own Motives.

       A.  Why are we asking God for a certain thing or situation?

       B.  Is it so that we will look better, feel better, or get more praise from other people?

       C.  Or is it so we might help others better and be better able to fulfill the destiny that God has laid before us?

Isaiah 47:8, Therefore hear now this, thou that art given to pleasures, that dwellest carelessly, that sayest in thine heart, I am, and none else beside me; I shall not sit as a widow, neither shall I know the loss of children:

Isaiah 47:11, Therefore shall evil come upon thee; thou shalt not know from whence it riseth: and mischief shall fall upon thee; thou shalt not be able to put if off: and desolation shall come upon thee suddenly, which thou shalt not know.

   3.  God Will Not Answer Our Prayers Unless He Is Certain That We Will Be Good Stewards. 

        A.  That is with the things He gives to us and that we will be generous to others once we receive them of His generous hands.

        B.  Problems in prayer are often clues that wrong motives are at work.

        C.  James mentions the most common problems in prayer: not asking, asking for the wrong things, asking for the wrong reasons.

                — Do you talk to God at all?

                — When you do, what do you talk about?

                — Do you ask only to satisfy your desires?

                — Do you seek God's approval for what you already plan to do?

        D.  Your prayers will become powerful when you allow God to change your desires so that they perfectly correspond to His will for you. 1 John 3:21-22, Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God. [22] And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight.

   4.  God Gives to the Generous Believer, but Not to the Selfish.

Proverbs 21:13, Whoso stoppeth his ears at the cry of the poor, he also shall cry himself, but shall not be heard.

        A.  Very specifically, God expects us to be generous to those who are in need. Many of God's blessings in the Bible are reserved for those who take care of the poor, the widows, and the orphans.

        B.  We must use what God gives us to bring about justice and equity for those who are lacking the basic essentials of life. No, we cannot meet every need, but what about the ones you can meet?

C. NO, BECAUSE WE HAVE WAVERING FAITH.

James 1:6-7, But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. [7] For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord.

Another reason why God says no to our prayers is because we are wishy-washy in our faith. God has little regard for faith that wavers—a faith that says, “Maybe God will, maybe He won't.” Such faith is unstable and unreliable.

    1.  Is Your Relationship With God Based on Emotions?

         A.  God sometimes gives us an answer of no so we will reevaluate our opinion of Him and also come to grips with our own emotions.

         B.  Many people are driven by their emotions. One day they claim to feel God's presence and they have joy and peace.

         C.  The next day, when they are a little down or discouraged, they say they don't feel God's presence; therefore, God must not care about them. They become resentful and bitter toward God.

                                   

    2.  Is Your Relationship With God Based on Scripture?

          A.  God, however, has not changed. Their emotional temperament is being tossed about like wind-driven waves.

          B.  Our relationship with God must be based squarely on what the Bible says God desires for us and has given to us through Jesus Christ.

          C.  We are not to base our relationship with God on how we feel on any given day. Feelings come and go and change like the weather.

          D.  God's Word remains the same all the time. Our prayers must be grounded in the Word, not in ourselves.  Hebrews 13:8-9, Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever. [9] Be not carried about with divers and strange doctrines. For it is a good thing that the heart be established with grace; not with meats, which have not profited them that have been occupied therein. 

                                                                                   

D.  NO, BECAUSE OF OUR FAILURES TO TITHE OUR INCOME.

Malachi 3:10, Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.

   1.  One of the Most Common Yet Unrecognized Errors That Can Bring about a “No” Answer from God Is Our Failure to Tithe. God does not tolerate stinginess—whether toward Him or toward other people.

   2.  If God Does Not Seem to Be Answering Your Request for Things, Money, or Material Goods, Check Your Giving. It may be God is seeking to teach you a new set of priorities in your handling of money. He may be attempting to give you a new understanding of stewardship.

   3.  God Will Not Violate the Cycle of Giving That He Established for Humankind: Giving, Receiving, Giving, Receiving. His law is one that requires reciprocation.

Leviticus 27:30, And all the tithe of the land, whether of the seed of the land, or of the fruit of the tree, is the Lord's: it is holy unto the Lord.

E.  NO, BECAUSE OF OUR INDIFFERENCE TO HIS WORD.

Proverbs 28:9, He that turneth away his ear from hearing the law, even his prayer shall be abomination.

Sometimes God gives us an answer of no so that we will get serious about reading His Word and applying it to our lives. You cannot live with a closed Bible and expect to have an open line to Heaven.

    1.  The Bible Is God's Manual for Right Living.

        A.  It contains His promises related to prayer and the meeting of our needs.

        B.  It holds God's commandments for how to receive and use God's blessings and defeat the enemy of our souls.

        C.  We cannot turn a deaf ear to God's Word and then approach God with our requests.

ILLUSTRATION:  That would be like a college student telling his professors, “I don't need to attend classes or study any courses. Just give me a degree and I'll be on my way.” Can you imagine the response that student would receive? (Stanley)

    2.  The Bible Has Both Information and Inspiration That We Need for our Daily Walk with God.

Psalm 32:8, I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye.

A.     David urged us to follow his example of honesty before God! Rather than being like a beast of burden that has to be harnessed into submission, we can choose to be led by the gentle touch of God's hand (Ps 32:6-11).  Thus he affords us information and through David’s example, inspiration. Especially the truth, that the Lord will tell us which way we are to take in order to reach a certain destination! God promises He will watch us, or will keep an eye on us; He will not let us go wrong.

B.     I also remember John was also a prophet seeking a response to the Word. The prophets often held out hope for the present—hope that God's judgment could be delayed if people would repent and turn to God in faith and obedience. That does not mean that the prophets offered an easy way out of all difficulties, as if somehow all problems would vanish if people would just profess their faith in God. Instead, like Winston Churchill standing amidst the bombed ruins of London, the prophets offered “blood, sweat, and tears” for those who would follow God. It would not be easy to serve God and fight against the evil of this present dark and sinful world, and yet the prophets knew that God would be victorious in the end and His people would share in that victory.

C.     So John was a prophet, calling his generation—and ours—to repentance and faith and action. He knew that we could never build the kingdom of God on earth, no matter how hard we might try. Only God can do that—and someday He will, when Christ comes again. But John also knew that God's judgment on this world could be delayed if we would repent and turn to Christ.

D.     To some, John's message of the future may have sounded gloomy and depressing. John knew, however, that the worst thing he could do would be to assure people that everything was alright and that there was no need to be concerned about the evil in the world or God's judgment. But John's message is ultimately a message of the good news of salvation in Jesus Christ.

   3.  Read and Study the Word for Daily Inspiration for Zealous Christian Living.

Avail yourself of it. You'll gain important insights into how to pray so that you get yes answers from God.

Psalm 119:105, Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. (Once again see Isa. 1:11-20; Zech. 7:11-14; 2Tim. 4:3-4).

F.  NO, BECAUSE OF UNCONFESSED SINS IN OUR LIVES.

Isaiah 59:1-3, Behold, the Lord's hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; neither his ear heavy, that it cannot hear: [2] But your iniquities have separated between you and your God, and your sins have hid his face from you, that he will not hear. [3] For your hands are defiled with blood, and your fingers with iniquity; your lips have spoken lies, your tongue hath muttered perverseness.

  1.  Acknowledging Sin is Not Enough.

God sometimes gives answers of no in response to our unconfessed sins. Just recognizing our errors and sins is not enough.

  2. Confession of Sin is Required.

Proverbs 28:13, He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.

     A.  We must Confess Them to God and Receive His Forgiveness.

It is not sufficient that we recognize that our relationships are wrong, we have failed to tithe, we have wavering faith, we are selfish, or we are indifferent to God's Word.

     B.  We must Actually Confess These Errors to God and Then Repent of Them, Which Means to Make a Willful Decision to Change. Every believer must humble themselves before God in a spirit of repentance trusting God to restore and revive us in Christ Jesus!

Proverbs 15:8, The sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to the Lord: but the prayer of the upright is his delight.

Proverbs 15:29, The Lord is far from the wicked: but he heareth the prayer of the righteous.

     C.  God Cannot Give Us “Yes” Answers If We Only Recognize Our Errors, but Do Not Obey Him and Change Our Ways by the Power of His Spirit.  God constantly reminds of this requirement!

1 Peter 3:12, For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil.

James 5:16, Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. 

   3.  Confession or Cover-up is the Question?

A.     Honest Confession of Sin Is Always Better than Any Attempt to Conceal an Unpleasant Truth (see Job 31:33; Ps 32:3-5; 1 John 1:9). 

                                                             i.      The individual who covers his sins by denying or extenuating them, (1 Sam 15:20-21) “shall not prosper.”

                                                           ii.      QUOTE:   “To hide a sin with a lie is like a crust of leprosy drawn over an ulcer” (Jeremy Taylor).

B.     Many People Try to Cover Their Sinful Failures by Laying the Blame on Others (Gen 3:12-13; Ezek 18:2).

                                                             i.      They effectively deny themselves the “prosperity” the Lord desires for them. 

                                                           ii.      Some even cry out in anger, “I am not the only one, or the first one who did it, and I shall not be the last.” 

C.     This Is Altogether Different from What We Find in the Account of Acts 19:17-20. 

               1.  The blessings come only after the confession and forsaking of sin!  Acts 19:17-20, And this was known to all the Jews and Greeks also dwelling at Ephesus; and fear fell on them all, and the name of the Lord Jesus was magnified. [18] And many that believed came, and confessed, and shewed their deeds. [19] Many of them also which used curious arts brought their books together, and burned them before all men: and they counted the price of them, and found it fifty thousand pieces of silver. [20] So mightily grew the word of God and prevailed.

               2.  Ephesus seemed to be a center for black magic and other dark occultic practices. Evidently, the people would create magical formulas to give them wealth, happiness, and success in marriage. Obviously, superstition and sorcery were commonplace. Many of the Ephesian converts had been involved in these dark arts.

               3.  But notice the sincerity of their confessions.  Because of the powerfully demonstrated superiority of the name of Jesus over evil spirits (Acts 19:11-17) many of the new believers in Ephesus did some spiritual spring cleaning. 

·Specifically, they renounced their fascination with all occult practices and their secret spells. Then, taking the left-overs of their pagan pasts, they burned them at a public bonfire.

·Yes, making a clean break with sin is costly -- the magic books alone were worth several million dollars (literally, fifty thousand drachmas). A drachma was a silver coin equal to a worker's pay for one day. 

·But the end result was the Word of God grew and prevailed! (MacDonald)

     D.  The Person Who “Confesseth and Forsaketh” Sin and Refuses to Be like a Dog Returning to His Vomit, (2 Peter 2:22) Shall Have the Sweet Mercy of the Lord.

               1.  In all actuality the sincerity of the confession is proven by our forsaking our sins (Job 34:31-32). Then mercy is sure to be ours (Ps 32:5; 1 John 1:8-10).

               2.  Consider the heart of God and the love in his appeal to return to him and faithfulness.

Jeremiah 3:11-15, And the Lord said unto me, The backsliding Israel hath justified herself more than treacherous Judah.  [12] Go and proclaim these words toward the north, and say, Return, thou backsliding Israel, saith the Lord; and I will not cause mine anger to fall upon you: for I am merciful, saith the Lord, and I will not keep anger for ever. [13] Only acknowledge thine iniquity, that thou hast transgressed against the Lord thy God, and hast scattered thy ways to the strangers under every green tree, and ye have not obeyed my voice, saith the Lord. [14] Turn, O backsliding children, saith the Lord; for I am married unto you: and I will take you one of a city, and two of a family, and I will bring you to Zion: [15] And I will give you pastors according to mine heart, which shall feed you with knowledge and understanding.

  

God's foremost desire is not to give us answers of "wait" or "no", but to say “yes” to us. Deuteronomy 28 is an important chapter for us to read and study. It tells us that God desires to bless us:

Deut. 28:1-2, And it shall come to pass, if thou shalt hearken diligently unto the voice of the Lord thy God, to observe and to do all his commandments which I command thee this day, that the Lord thy God will set thee on high above all nations of the earth: [2] And all these blessings shall come on thee, and overtake thee, if thou shalt hearken unto the voice of the Lord thy God.

God's desire is for blessing, but if we, His people, turn to follow other gods and do not obey His Word, then we will find ourselves in a position in which the “heaven that is over thy head shall be brass, and the earth that is under thee shall be iron.” (v. 23). In other words, the heavens will be closed to our prayers, and nothing we attempt to do on earth will prosper. When we know what to do, we are responsible for doing it. Then, and only then, can God trust us with His 'yes' answers and His greatest blessings.

Deut. 28:23, And thy heaven that is over thy head shall be brass, and the earth that is under thee shall be iron.

What we fail to recognize is that “wait” and “no” answers are tremendous teaching tools. Therefore, learn as much as possible from your mistakes!  Always bear in mind that our failures in life are very often our greatest teachers.(Stanley) So, too, with God's “wait” and “no” answers. They can reveal to us what actions we should take or how we should grow in our relationship with the Lord. Use this article to examine your own life. Allow yourself time to be completely transparent and open with the Spirit of God. Confess all known sin so that your fellowship with the Lord is restored and strong. Continue praying in faith knowing the Lord does indeed hear you and will answer positively in His precious time and according to His will for us. Beloved, do not allow yourself to become discouraged in your prayers. Examine the heart and make things right with the Lord. Then...keep talking to Him!