GEN. 1:26–28;
2:18-25; JN. 14:15-26; 16:16-33
SUBJECT: DIVINE STRENGTH FOR THE EMOTIONAL CHALLENGE OF LONELINESS
RELEVANCE: Loneliness is one of the most excruciating feelings a person can ever have and one that nearly every person attempts to avoid at all costs. Yet, loneliness seems pervasive in our world today. I have met hundreds of people through the years who have felt utterly alone, abandoned, isolated, ostracized, and thus, lonely. However, we must embrace biblical principles on how to develop and maintain intimacy with God and with others. The truth is that God created us for closeness and togetherness. He intends us to be in touch with and comfortable with our spouse, children and certainly with other Christians. And most importantly God intends for us to be in touch with and close to Him.
INTRODUCTION:
I Clearly Remember a Few Times Thinking to
Myself, I Have Nobody.
There
were times when a feeling of utter
loneliness would well up within me. It was a feeling that was somewhat familiar
and that I still deal with at times. Often,
I am avoided and very much misunderstood by many people. And sometimes those who dare to draw close
are afraid to really open up and express themselves freely. They simply don’t
feel safe and close. I suppose they fear
being judged or corrected by the me.
Don’t misunderstand, the loneliness I deal with occasionally is much less severe than that experienced by many people. I do realize that I am not alone in my occasional occurrences of loneliness. I have met hundreds of people through the years who have felt utterly alone, abandoned, isolated, ostracized, and thus, lonely. This is what I have seen especially after living in military type communities for over 30 years.
Loneliness seems to abound in every sector of life.
MESSAGE:
I. But What Perspective Should We Have About Loneliness?
A. God Created Mankind for Companionship with
Himself.
At the outset of the Bible, Genesis 1 through 3, we have a picture of the fellowship that God desires with human beings.
1. He Created Us with a Capacity for
Companionship.
He said, “Let Us make man in Our image, after Our likeness” (Gen. 1:26). His image is comprised of intellectual, emotional, and volitional characteristic which enables us to commune with God fluently.
2.
God Obviously Desired Companionship with Mankind.
God displays an emotional capacity for companionship and a desire for it. Loneliness is not a desirable state, from God’s point of view. Adam and Eve walked and talked with God frequently. His voice in the cool of the evening was not strange to them (Gen. 3:8–9).
B. Often God Expressed His Desire to Share Life with
His People.
Time and again throughout the Old Testament, we find the Lord reaching out to His people, revealing Himself to them, desiring to be with them and to communicate with them. In 1 Samuel 12:22 we find this promise of God: “For the Lord will not forsake his people for his great name's sake: because it hath pleased the Lord to make you his people.”
C. God Provided for Adams Need for Human
Companionship by Creating Eve.
Genesis 2:18, And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
1.
God is Highly Motivated to Meet Our Relational Needs.
God here displays a desire to meet mankind’s social needs on a human scale. It is clearly not His desire for man to be alone; instead, He designed us for community life and relationships with people. The point of the narrative is that there was no helper who corresponded to man among the animals.
2.
God can Supply Relationships to Deliver Us from Loneliness.
Adam was thus alone until God met his need by creating Eve. A special act of creation of the woman was necessary to alleviate the loneliness.
3. The analogy has been often stated that "just as the rib is found at the side of the man and is attached to him, even so the good wife, the rib of her husband, stands at his side to be his helper-counterpart, and her soul is bound up with his" (Cassuto, p. 134).
Having established this premise, lets now explore the relationship Christ had with His disciples.
II. Jesus Cherished Companionship and So Should We.
Jesus Experienced Both Loneliness and Friendship Throughout the Course of His Full and Active Life. In the New Testament, we read how Jesus developed a very close relationship with a group of men we call apostles. He enjoyed friendship and companionship with these men. There is something that we can learn from this and apply to our own experiences.
A. CHERISH YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THE LORD.
He was so concerned that disciples continue in their relationship with one another even after His crucifixion that He spent much of His last night with them talking about their need to remain one with each other, and to be as one with the Father. We read in the Gospel of John, what Jesus actually said.
1.
Acknowledge Your Relationship with Christ by Faith.
John 14: 1-3, Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. [2] In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. [3] And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.
Here we sense a tenderness and a strange sort of peace. Strange, because Jesus’ life is now measured not by months or weeks but by hours. Christ was leaving His disciples, but He left His promise to prepare a place and come again for them. They would be separated for a while, but ultimately, we all as believers will spend eternity with Him in the Father’s House. Jesus chose to spend the last hours on earth with His own. To His own—and to you and me:
A.
Jesus Explains How to Practice the Presence of God.
B. Jesus Showed Us How to Know Intimate Fellowship with God.
2. Acknowledge Your Relationship with the
Comforter by Faith.
John 14:16-18, And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever; [17] Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you. [18] I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.
By acknowledging these truths, we are confessing what God has already provided for us to experience his every presence in our lives. By faith we must depend on this meaningful fellowship with the Lord.
A.
We Have a Teacher of Truth.
The Spirit is identified as the “Spirit of Truth,” who will give insights to believers which are not available to people who do not belong to Jesus.
B.
We Have the Presence of Christ.
As the Spirit teaches and brings to our minds the commandments of Christ, and as we obey, we will experience Jesus’ presence in our lives. Jesus promised: “If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him.” (John 14:23).
C.
We Have Freedom from Fear and Anxiety–Peace.
John 14:27, Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
Finally, we are told that through the Spirit’s presence we will find peace (Jn. 14:27). This peace is not the kind of peace the world offers; it is a peace that frees us from anxiety and fear, despite anything that may happen.
3.
Acknowledge Your Relationship with Other Christians by Faith.
John 15:9, As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love.
The love which the Savior has for us is the same as the love of the Father for the Son. We are called to have this same quality and degree of love for fellow believers.
A.
Active Dependence. John 15:9
A believer is motivated by the wonder of Jesus’ love, which
is patterned after the Father’s love in its quality and extent. Continuing in
Christ like love is a tall order! The motivation Jesus gives for their
continuing was the strength of His own love for them. His love was so great for
them that He was about to lay down His life.
Certainly, we must depend on the Lord to love on this level!
B.
Loving Obedience. John 15:9
John 15:12-13, This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. [13] Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
Obedience is how we continue in Christ’s love– fellowship. Remaining in His love might seem to be mystical but Jesus makes it very concrete.
1. An Obedient Love. Obedience to the Father’s commands is the same for a disciple as it was for Jesus Christ the Son (Jn.14:15, 21, 23; 1 John 2:3; 3:22, 24; 5:3). Active dependence and loving obedience are the proper paths for all of God’s children. All of this affords us a strong reason for continuing in His love.
2.
An Unchanging Love. Because the love
which Jesus shows for us is unchanging.
Heb. 13:8, Jesus Christ the same yesterday, today, and
forever.
We are challenged to be unchanging in the character and strength of our affections, just like He was in His. This is the only way we can properly express our gratitude and thereby show that we are His true friends. At the same time, this will build meaningful fellowship with others and deliver from loneliness. This unchanging love provides the foundation for the most transparent, open, intimate interaction with a Christian friend.
3. A Best Friend Love. (John 15:12-13). It is the love of our best friend-love whose strength was expressed by sufferings, and groans, and bloodshed on a cross. The example of Christ teaches us that everything he did was in commitment to His Father’s will. Therefore, he remained in the constant enjoyment of the Father’s love. Nothing ever came in to interrupt or mar that sweet sense of loving fellowship.
4. A Happy Love. “There is no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.” Our happiness in relationships depends completely on our continuing in the love of Christ. We have no source of permanent joy but in that awesome love. When lonely, we must recognize the opportunities we have to develop meaningful and rewarding friendships with other believers in our church.
APPLICATION: When we cultivate an obedient loving relationship with the Lord, we take a major step to overcome loneliness through fellowship with Him. In addition, we eventually become the kind of person who can develop and sustain healthy relationships with others and especially fellow believers.
B. DEPEND ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD FOR COMPANIONSHIP.
The close communion that the Lord desires and is willing to experience with us is something we can count on, even if everyone else abandons us.
1.
Jesus Knew What it Was Like to Feel
Alone.
Jesus knew this to be true in His own life. On the night He
was arrested and tried—the trial that ended in His crucifixion—He said to His
disciples, “Behold, the hour cometh, yea, is now
come, that ye shall be scattered, every man to his own, and shall leave me alone:” (John 16:32).
Can you hear the pain in that statement? Jesus knew what it was to feel lonely.
2.
Jesus Knew How to Count on God’s Presence by Faith.
John 16:32, Behold, the hour cometh, yea, is now come, that ye shall be scattered, every man to his own, and shall leave me alone: and yet I am not alone, because the Father is with me.
A.
Jesus Relied on the Presence of God When the Disciples Forsook Him.
But then Jesus went on to say, “And yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me” (John 16:32). Jesus knew what it was to be comforted by the presence of God even in the face of abandonment by friends. The presence and closeness with the Father were enough to sustain the Son of God amid His feelings of loneliness.
B.
Jesus Relied on the Presence of God When the Nation Forsook Him.
Prophesies regarding the Lord’s crucifixion experience
prior to the cross also bare testimony to the fact that Jesus relied on the
presence of the Father when he was utterly and totally rejected and forsaken by
friends and foes alike!
Isaiah 50:6-9, I gave my back to the smiters, and my cheeks to them that plucked off the hair: I hid not my face from shame and spitting. [7] For the Lord God will help me; therefore shall I not be confounded: therefore have I set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be ashamed. [8] He is near that justifieth me; who will contend with me? let us stand together: who is mine adversary? let him come near to me. [9] Behold, the Lord God will help me; who is he that shall condemn me? lo, they all shall wax old as a garment; the moth shall eat them up. (See also John 8:16; 8:29; 14:10-11)
3.
You must Decide to Believe God and Not Your Feelings.
The evidence from the Lord Jesus experiences with lonely feelings drives us to conclude that we must make a decision. Weather to believe God or our emotions. This may be difficult to grasp especially when we truly feel alone, but it is absolutely necessary in light of the clear testimony of scripture and the example of our Lord.
APPLICATION: The good news for every Christian is that
Jesus Christ is our Friend of friends. He is with us always and He never
changes, abandons us, or withdraws from us. We can trust Him always to be present so that we never
are truly alone. The next time you feel
loneliness creeping into your life for whatever reason remind yourself of these
precious promises concerning the never-ending presence of God and allow them to
strengthen you as you believe the Word instead of your feelings.
Remember Jesus said:
“Matt. 28:20, . . . Lo, I
am with you always, even to the end of the world. Amen.”
Romans 8:38-39, For I am persuaded, that neither
death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things
present, nor things to come, [39] Nor height, nor depth, nor any other
creature, shall be able to separate us
from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Hebrews 13:5, Let your
conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye
have: for he hath said, I will never
leave thee, nor forsake thee.
Psalm 23:4, Yea, though I
walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy
staff they comfort me.
Psalm 46:10-11, Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. [11] The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.
4. Paul Also Learned How to Depend upon the Presence of the Lord When He Felt Lonely.
At least three times (Acts 18:9-10; 23:11; 27:23-24), God gave Paul a timely word of encouragement. How gracious of God! In each case Paul was facing some very difficult challenges to include feelings of isolation and loneliness. But the Lord reassured him repeatedly of His presence and providence.
A.
Paul’s Experience Illustrate God’s Ability to Lead Us to His People and
His Churches for Companionship.
Acts 18:9-11, Then spake the Lord to Paul in the night by a vision, Be not afraid, but speak, and hold not thy peace: [10] For I am with thee, and no man shall set on thee to hurt thee: for I have much people in this city. [11] And he continued there a year and six months, teaching the word of God among them.
Apparently, the conversions of Crispus and other Corinthians (Acts 18:7-8), together with the development of a growing "house church" right next door to the synagogue, must have provoked great controversy and opposition. Despite the dangers, no one would lay a hand on Paul -- he would not endure bodily harm during this period in Corinth. As a result of this divine word of assurance, Paul spent eighteen months with the church in Corinth preaching and teaching. In what had to be a most encouraging vision, Christ told Paul that he had many people in Corinth (18:9-10) and “I am with thee.”
APPLICATION: Sometimes we can feel alone or isolated, especially when we see wickedness all around us and when we are persecuted for our faith. Usually, however, there are others in the neighborhood or community who also follow Christ. Ask God to lead you to His local churches or to those who are on the verge of faith in Christ.
B. Paul’s Experience Illustrated God’s Ability to Provide Words of Encouragement During the Lonely Times. Acts 23:10-11, And when there arose a great dissension, the chief captain, fearing lest Paul should have been pulled in pieces of them, commanded the soldiers to go down, and to take him by force from among them, and to bring him into the castle. [11] And the night following the Lord stood by him, and said, Be of good cheer, Paul: for as thou hast testified of me in Jerusalem, so must thou bear witness also at Rome.
On that frightening night, the Lord appeared to Paul and, “stood by him.” Certainly, the Savior had always been with His servant Paul, but God knew that his faithful apostle needed him even closer that night. We can sense the richness of the encouragement the Lord gave him. Christ told Paul to, “Be of good cheer” and then gave him the reasons why he should be encouraged.
1. Words
of Praise from the Lord.
First, he gave Paul a word of praise for his faithfulness to the ministry -- just “as thou hast testified of me in Jerusalem.” The Lord commended Paul for being a good witness to the people of Jerusalem.
2. Words
of Promise from the Lord.
Second, he gave Paul a word of promise -- “so must thou bear witness also at Rome.” The Lord confirmed that Paul would survive the current threat and preach the Good News in Rome also. God, in essence, promised Paul safe passage to another field of ministry.
APPLICATION: Armed with these words of praise and promise from the Lord, the apostle could be freed from the threat of danger and perhaps the loneliness of suffering for Christ’s sake. We might imagine that after this visit, another in a long line of God's encouragement appearances to Paul, the apostle rolled over and drifted off to the kind of restful sleep that only a child safe within his Father's strong arms can experience (Ps 127:2). The blessing to us is that when we feel most along we can count on the clear promises of the Lord to ‘stand by us’ in the lonely hour.
C.
Paul’s Experience Illustrate How God uses Us to Reach Out to Encourage
Others During Frightening and Lonely Experiences.
Acts 27:20-25, And when neither sun nor stars in many days appeared, and no small tempest lay on us, all hope that we should be saved was then taken away. [21] But after long abstinence Paul stood forth in the midst of them, and said, Sirs, ye should have hearkened unto me, and not have loosed from Crete, and to have gained this harm and loss. [22] And now I exhort you to be of good cheer: for there shall be no loss of any man's life among you, but of the ship. [23] For there stood by me this night the angel of God, whose I am, and whom I serve, [24] Saying, Fear not, Paul; thou must be brought before Caesar: and, lo, God hath given thee all them that sail with thee. [25] Wherefore, sirs, be of good cheer: for I believe God, that it shall be even as it was told me.
Here God sends a divine messenger and dispatches him to the rocking, leaking, creaking ship -- so as to soothe the troubled minds aboard. For us, encouragement may come in other, less dramatic, but equally meaningful ways: a phone call from a friend, a Bible verse, a needed hug, a note of encouragement, the meeting of a hidden need, the lyric of a song. If you're discouraged, ask God to give you some concrete reminder of his presence and promises. Then watch him act. — (from The Life Application Commentary Series)
D.
Paul’s Experience Illustrate How God Remains Close When Others Forsakes
Us.
2 Tim. 4:14-18, Alexander the coppersmith did me much evil: the Lord reward him according to his works: [15] Of whom be thou ware also; for he hath greatly withstood our words. [16] At my first answer no man stood with me, but all men forsook me: I pray God that it may not be laid to their charge. [17] Notwithstanding the Lord stood with me, and strengthened me; that by me the preaching might be fully known, and that all the Gentiles might hear: and I was delivered out of the mouth of the lion. [18] And the Lord shall deliver me from every evil work, and will preserve me unto his heavenly kingdom: to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
1. He Had Opposition from His Enemies. Vs. 14-15
2. He
Had Been Forsaken by His Friends. Vs. 16
No one had come to speak in Paul's defense or to stand by in his support; everyone had deserted him (compare 1:15). Although sorely disappointed, Paul seemed to understand, for he hoped that this would not be held against them. This spirit compares greatly with the Lord Jesus' words from the cross, Luke 23:34.
NOTE: Paul realized the fear the Christians were feeling; it had become extremely dangerous to be identified as a Christian in Rome. Emperor Nero had blamed the Christians for starting a great fire in Rome (A.D. 64). He had decreed that the Christians should be persecuted through torture and death as punishment. Three or four years later, when this letter was written, fear was still very present, causing Paul's fellow believers to be unwilling to defend him before the Roman authorities.
APPLICATION: We must be sharp to recognize our
opportunities to reach out and touch in a supporting role.
Each believer has opportunities to encourage those Missionaries whom God has called to serve in lonely, isolated, or even dangerous areas on his behalf. We certainly can pray for them! But there are also other significant ways we can support some of them. E-mail, letters, and telecommunications make it possible, for relatively little expense, to talk with almost anyone in the world. Have you ever called a missionary that your church supports? Have you ever written a letter? Are there books or other special items you could send? Have you ever asked how you could help rather than waiting to be asked? This same observation can be applied to our Christian brethren who are deployed and unable to fellowship with other believers for extended periods. There is much that we can do.
3. He
Still Had the Lord Standing Faithfully Beside Him. 2 Tim. 4:17-18
Although no human being had come to support Paul at his hearing, the Lord had been with him. Paul had sensed both the presence and the power of Christ. Paul felt that he had been infused with divine strength. Christ had helped Paul not just for Paul's benefit alone. He had supplied Paul with spiritual power, wisdom, and preaching skills to carry the message of the gospel to the listening Gentiles in the far corners of the earth (Phil 1:12-14). Whatever would happen to Paul at his trial, Paul was confident that God's purposes would be fulfilled.
APPLICATION: With his mentor in prison and his church in turmoil, Timothy probably was not feeling very brave. Paul was saying to Timothy to continue to preach, and God would give him the courage to do so. God always gives us the strength to do what he has commanded. This strength may not be evident, however, until we step out in faith and actually begin doing the task. (See Mark 13:9-11 and Matt 10:17-19).
CONCLUSION:
We Can Overcome the Feelings of Loneliness by Accepting the Lord’s Strengthening Companionship by Faith. We must embrace biblical principles to develop and maintain intimacy with God and with others. God created us for closeness and togetherness. He intends us to be in touch with and comfortable with other Christians. And most importantly God intends for us to be in touch with and close to Him.
Keep in mind always that our own feelings sometimes
deceive us. None of us has perfect perception, and especially so when
we personally are involved. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you to build your life
upon the truth of God's Word and the consistent reliability of God's presence
and power. Feelings come and go. God's love, forgiveness, and presence with us
is eternal and rock solid.
