How NOT To Treat Your Enemies

ROMANS 12:17-21  

SUBJECT: ENEMIES & CHRISTIAN LIVING

THEME: as the redeemed, we have gracious responsibilities to the Lord Jesus concerning how we treat our human enemies.  

INTRODUCTION:                                                    

The believer who seeks to obey God will have some enemies. Even our Lord had powerful and dangerous individuals and institutions opposing him and his message. Likewise, for Paul and the other apostles there were people who aggressively opposed the gospel and their ministries. The Lord Jesus warned us that our worst enemies may be those of our own households (Matt. 10:36). Unfortunately, some believers have enemies because they lack godly character, and not because they are faithful witnesses. There is a difference between sharing in “the offense of the cross” (Gal. 5:11; 6:12-15) and being an offensive Christian!

Satisfying God-given responsibilities toward our human enemies is an important facet of Christian living.  We are essentially called to overcoming evil with good. So, if you have been mistreated, disenfranchised, marginalized, disregarded, or disadvantaged because of your ethnicity, social standing, race, age, or gender, the counsel in this passage is for you. In this study, let us consider some things we must not resort to with our flesh and blood enemies.

LESSON:

CONSIDER SOME THINGS WE SHOULD NOT DO TO OUR ENEMIES

We are not to repay anyone for the evil acts against us; we are not to avenge ourselves, nor should we allow ourselves to be overcome by evil. Rather, we are to overcome evil with good.  

Consider these carnal reactions we must resist and avoid at all cost remembering the counsel is individual and personal. God is not addressing judicial systems or legitimate governmental authorities. Personal injuries are in view here.

Do Not Retaliate Against Your Enemies (Vs. 17 & 19)

Romans 12:17, Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.

When we have been hurt, we instinctively want revenge or to retaliate. The need within us to secure some form of recompense is strong, and these feelings of retaliation are further bolstered by the counsel and expectations of society in general. Retaliation is precisely how a person without divine life and resources would react to provocation. Telling them off, striking back, and escalating the conflict with greater collateral damage. God says not so for His people.

Recompense to No Man Evil for Evil (Vs. 17)

Repaying evil for evil is so natural and common that if you refuse to follow this course of action, people will literally question your sanity. Folks regard this as weak, passive and allowing others to walk all over you. Some may even label you a coward for not striking back. Lost people understand giving tit for tat, or repaying in kind. They advocate for giving someone what he or she deserves; they want their pound of flesh! In contrast, God’s people are not to be driven by vengeance and retaliation—getting even is not a priority or a value of the redeemed.

Provide Things Honest in the Sight of All Men (Vs, 17)

Instead of reacting in kind, we should act honorably in the face of abuse and injury, as in all the circumstances of life. To “provide” means to have regard for beforehand or take thought for in advance or be careful to do. With such forethought, we can guard against responding in a way that will prove dishonoring to Christ, embarrassing to our families and potentially a violation of the law. We must not wait until we are in the heat of the provocation and then decide what we should do. No, God prescribes that we make the decision well in advance. This is incredibly important if we have a short fuse. It is also helpful to know what circumstances make your blood boil or frustrate you. I have been saved now for 28 years and traffic in Washington, DC still occasionally irritates me. As a countermeasure, I try to keep something spiritually edifying playing in the car to help me behave in traffic in a manner that pleases Christ. Beloved, we must consciously plan to purposefully act with honor!

To be “honest in the sight of all men” refers to the visible outward expression of an inward goodness. When this outward expression conforms to the inward goodness, then such Christian expression is an “honest” one, conforming to the inner facts. In other words, the goodness that people see is an honest expression of the goodness within resulting from the grace of God at work within. In contrast, if a Christian assumes an outward expression which is patterned after the ways of the world, then that expression is not “honestly” representing what he or she is as a child of God.  Such behavior leaves the observer the impression that the believer is deeply worldly, and such expression is dishonest and inconsistent with the internal reality.

Scripture exhorts believers to live with integrity and authenticity. Note the counsel of Apostle Peter in 1 Peter 2:12, says, “Having your conversation honest among the Gentiles: that, whereas they speak against you as evildoers, they may by your good works, which they shall behold, glorify God in the day of visitation.” Christians are challenged to take careful forethought to ensure our lifestyle—outward expression—conforms to inward reality. We must honestly represent the good work God is doing within us; Beloved, be consistent with who you truly are as a child of God (Rom. 12:17).

Refuse to Repay Enemies with Evil, this Requires Divine Love

Obeying this guidance requires love because our first inclination is to fight back. It also requires faith, believing that God can work and accomplish His will in our lives and in the lives of those who hurt us. We must give place to “the wrath”-the wrath of God (Deut. 32:35). Read carefully and thoughtfully the wisdom and counsel of our Lord Jesus, in Matt 5:43-48, saying,

Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. 44, But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; 45, That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. 46, For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? 47, And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so? 48, Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.

Yes, our Lord prescribes loving, doing good for, praying for, and saluting even our enemies because such behaviors mirrors the gracious love of our heavenly Father. Clearly, such love is more a matter of how we treat them and seek to serve their welfare. You can see that God is not prescribing a form of passivity where we merely avoid doing something wrong in return. No, He expects us to be intensely active, conciliatory, and pursuing positive ends! We don’t just sit there and take it on the cheek! Even when our hearts are not motiving us to act in these ways, we must spring into action as the people of God in gracious ways as a matter of confidence in God’s wisdom. We trust the way God says to handle these matters; therefore, we act. In addition, trust the Lord for the most powerful force in the universe to be dynamically wielded through you. Remember, Charity “beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth” (1Cor 13:7, 8). Love is still a part of the fruit of the Spirit of grace.

Do Not Assume the Role of God by Taking Vengeance Against Your Enemies

Romans 12:19, Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

It is normal for us to wonder if our feelings matter, and if we must resign ourselves to a doormat for anyone to walk all over. When we feel belittled, we crave to make ourselves larger in the perceptions of those who make us feel small. If we are the victims of abuse, we long for these offenses to be made right. When mistreated at work, at home, or at church we must guard against the powerful desire to make it right ourselves.

The Christian Must Not Play God Attempting to Avenge Himself

God can handle the wrongs we are confronted with and must endure. He alone holds this option, and we cannot assume His role or responsibilities. God is not looking to subcontract someone else to handle this kind of thing either! Returning evil for evil, or good for good, is the way most people live. But the Christian must live on a higher level and return good for evil. Let us decidedly focus on doing our duty and executing our responsibilities leaving God to manage His.

Vengeance is God's Prerogative

Romans 12:19, Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

“Vengeance” is not spitefulness, vitriol or vindictiveness! It refers to “that which proceeds out of justice,” and is not related to people’s actions stirred by personal injury, feelings of hurt, resentment or ugly bitterness. You see none of this stuff is in the nature and character of a holy God! Therefore, He is the best person to handle matters of this nature. Beloved, the judgments of God are holy and right (Rev. 16:7), and they are entirely free from any element of self-gratification, nastiness, or maliciousness.

We must resist the tendency to avenge wrongs that are done to us. The expression, “give place unto wrath” encourages us to allow God to take care of it for us. Without any doubt this is the correct view of this instructive passage. Yes, we are to stand back and let the wrath of God take care of it. This form of vengeance is God’s prerogative alone, and He does not need our help, advice, or timetable! It is not our place to interfere with what is His exclusive right. He will repay at the proper time and in the correct manner. Lenski writes:

God has long ago settled the whole matter about exacting justice from wrongdoers. Not one of them will escape. Perfect justice will be done in every case and will be done perfectly.  If any of us interfered, it would be the height of presumption.

I read the story about a gentleman who once heard a preacher criticize him over the radio stating things that were not only unkind, but also untrue. The man of course became very angry and was planning to fight back, when a godly preacher advised, “Don’t do it. If you defend yourself, then the Lord can’t defend you. Leave it in His hands.”  The gentlemen followed that wise counsel, and the Lord vindicated him.  Remember, vengeance is God’s prerogative; simply step back and give room for His wrath to be poured out on them!

Do Not Curse Your Enemies (Vs. 14)

Romans 12:14, Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not.

Knowing that God will take vengeance can lead to desiring and wishing for it. We must monitor our hearts and motives to ensure such godless desire do not creep in.  

To “Curse” means to Doom or to Wish Evil upon  

This is not speaking of the use of profanity, thought that too is wrong because it tears people down. The idea here is that of calling down divine curses upon someone.  God warns and admonishes us to “Stop cursing your enemies” or “Stop wishing the worst upon them” and wish the best for them instead. Bless and curse not! Perhaps all of us have heard someone joking say, “I hope you dog dies,” but we have also heard people call down death upon another because of some offense that transpired over 30 years ago!

This Requires a Correct Heart Attitude

Proverbs 24:17-20, Rejoice not when thine enemy falleth, and let not thine heart be glad when he stumbleth: 18, Lest the LORD see it, and it displease him, and he turn away his wrath from him. 19, Fret not thyself because of evil men, neither be thou envious at the wicked; 20, For there shall be no reward to the evil man; the candle of the wicked shall be put out.

Remember, the best the wicked will ever know is this life on earth; eternity will be marked by intense and prolonged suffering cut off from God in the Lake of Fire. They may appear to get away with “murder” presently, but not one of us wants their future. They need someone to love their souls to Christ. Will you take the challenge?  

This Requires Constant Tongue Control

Job 31:28-30, This also were an iniquity to be punished by the judge: for I should have denied the God that is above. 29, If I rejoiced at the destruction of him that hated me, or lifted up myself when evil found him: 30, Neither have I suffered my mouth to sin by wishing a curse to his soul.

Job maintained his integrity and defended his sympathy towards those experiencing social and economical reverses. He insisted he had not secretly wished for the destruction of his foes. He was careful about what he said about those who sought his ruin.

Another example of this can be found in Joseph the favorite son of Jacob. Because of jealousy and envy Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers, but he never uttered a word of hatred. He did not wish them any wrong. Instead this abused servant of God exercised great heart and tongue control. When he had the opportunity to get revenge he refused and instead sought to take care of them in Egypt. Joseph preserved their lives and that of their families (Gen. 37-50). He had the perfect opportunity to destroy his brothers in Egypt after Jacob’s death and burial, yet he refuses to curse, he instead blessed them. Read the account for yourself in Genesis 50:14-21,

And Joseph returned into Egypt, he, and his brethren, and all that went up with him to bury his father, after he had buried his father. ¹⁵And when Joseph's brethren saw that their father was dead, they said, Joseph will peradventure hate us, and will certainly requite us all the evil which we did unto him. ¹⁶And they sent a messenger unto Joseph, saying, Thy father did command before he died, saying, ¹⁷So shall ye say unto Joseph, Forgive, I pray thee now, the trespass of thy brethren, and their sin; for they did unto thee evil: and now, we pray thee, forgive the trespass of the servants of the God of thy father. And Joseph wept when they spake unto him. ¹⁸And his brethren also went and fell down before his face; and they said, Behold, we be thy servants. ¹⁹And Joseph said unto them, Fear not: for am I in the place of God? ²⁰But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive. ²¹Now therefore fear ye not: I will nourish you, and your little ones. And he comforted them, and spake kindly unto them.

CONCLUSION:

As the redeemed, we have spiritual responsibilities to our Lord Jesus concerning how we treat our enemies. While our human enemies may indeed be guilty of abusing, mistreating, defaming, or hurting us, we are not to respond in kind. Christian living means treating all people like God treats us—affording grace and goodness regardless of how they treat us. God counsels us to avoid three specific behaviors and attitudes:

1.  Do Not Retaliate Against Your Enemies    

2.  Do Not Assume the Role of God by Taking Vengeance Against Your Enemies

3.  Do Not Curse Your Enemies     

These three things I should not and must not do to my enemies. Many will say, “We need to organize and fight back!” Others have perhaps chosen a subtler form of revenge to get even and make things right. While our sense of justice may be screaming loudly for redress, God calls us to love and faith! It is that simple…no, it is not easy, but it is that simple! Yes, to obey will certainly require divine love and real confidence in God’s ways. Beloved, we must make room for this kind of supernaturalism if we desire real change and substantial healing personally, professionally, ecclesiastically, socially, economically, and nationally! As the children of God, we must live on the highest level-returning good for evil. Anyone...and I mean anyone can return good for good and evil for evil. Such attitudes and behavior require zero supernatural power or grace from God; it is all natural, and it only perpetuates the same injustices upon future generations. The only way to overcome evil is with good. If we return evil for evil, we only add fuel to the fire—escalation and ciaos will ensue. God’s way affords a hopeful and happier future! And even if our enemy is not converted, we have still experienced the love of God in our own hearts and have grown in His grace. We give evidence of God’s presence and power operating in a very broken world when we honor this counsel.